|
FieryOpal -> RE: New to this, how do you know you're a sub? (4/7/2014 3:29:25 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Gbeaton
I liked controlling what went on in the bedroom but when it change I really liked it but feel like I am not getting what I need out of it and too scared to push my hubby.
Since you say you liked controlling what goes on in the bedroom but that you really like it when it changes, you are alternating modes. If you commit yourself to being a submissive, you give up control of being in charge. If you're not ready to relinquish control, then be a switchy sub, meaning you have some switch tendencies. You enjoy it when you are bottoming in a BDSM scene, but when you direct the scene or act in the capacity of a service Top to your husband, then you "switch" modes. You don't have to pick a side, just do what feels right to you.
I take it your hubby is on board so far, but he's not setting the pace, correct? Let him ease into it, stretch his comfort levels with dominating you, and when you're cuddling afterwards, have some pillow talk to get his feedback and to give him yours. Heap in lots of praise and encouragement for what you enjoyed the most.
Keep in mind, he may not want to be the bedroom Dominant full time, and then negotiate between yourselves so that both of your needs get fulfilled. I do have to ask, though, why you are seeking Dominant men when you're married to a receptive husband. Has he consented to this? Informed consent with BDSM activities is the cornerstone of WIITWD-What It Is That We Do. If not, then is it worth possibly jeopardizing your marriage over?
|
|
|
|
