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Slave or Sub - 4/10/2014 6:54:01 PM

verylongtongue

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/7/2014
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I wanted to know how to classify myself. What is the main distinction between a slave and a sub?.

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RE: Slave or Sub - 4/10/2014 7:17:15 PM

DarkSteven

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Sorry. If I gave you my own definition, I can guarantee that others would disagree.

Use whichever you like, and explain more in conversation. Don't try to live to be a label.

Edited to add:

For some perspective, my sub and I disagree. I call her a sub, and she says she's a bottom. We've got a good three year relationship, despite not agreeing on what the relationship itself should be called.

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 4/10/2014 7:22:49 PM >

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RE: Slave or Sub - 4/10/2014 7:18:40 PM

SeekingTrinity

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Honestly no one can tell you that because it's a very personal decision that only you can ultimately make. Both are very subjective terms that mean different things depending on who is asked. There really isn't a clear cut "if you do X, Y, and Z...that makes you a slave...but because you won't do A, B, and C...that makes you a submissive" thing you can use to determine things.

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RE: Slave or Sub - 4/10/2014 7:20:22 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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From: Hell
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I could go into detail about what the distinction means to me, but that really has no relevance to you and your partner(s). If you use the Search feature, you'll find lots of threads about this topic. In the end, they all boil down to this:

The distinction is whatever you and your partner decide it is.

It really is that simple, so identify however you like. Just make sure you and any prospective partners are on the same page about what each of those words means and how it will affect your relationship.

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RE: Slave or Sub - 4/10/2014 8:34:40 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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There are as many different definitions of slave vs submissive as there are people to ask. What really matters is how you and your partner(s) define it. I know that's not really much help, if any at all, but that's the truth. If someone says they want a slave(or a sub), ask her what it means to her, then go from there. I'm the kind of person who will describe what I want, rather than just put a label on it.

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RE: Slave or Sub - 4/10/2014 8:36:41 PM

FieryOpal

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Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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I would define it like this: submissive is the overall category, just as Dominant is. Within this classification system is that of slave and Master-Mistress, respectively.
There is also a distinction between bottom and Top modalities. Similar, but not synonymous with the above terminology.
Typically a slave belongs to a Master or Mistress, which entails ownership. Therefore, they define one another.
You could call yourself a slave, but who are you a slave to? You could call yourself a Master, but who or what are you the Master of?
By the same token, you can be a submissive but not be collared by a Dominant. You're still a free agent.

When my uncle retired from the military, I still addressed him as "Colonel." Once a Colonel, always a Colonel.
In my way of thinking, once a slave, you are entitled to refer to yourself as a slave between Masters, if you elect to do so.

I have heard some slaves say that the distinction to them is one of (negotiated) consent, that they give their consent once and for all. I've noticed that they tend to take 24/7 TPE-Total Power Exchange dynamics more literally.
This doesn't mean they can't withdraw their consent because they most assuredly can and either party can always redefine their limits/deal breakers; however, this usually means the end of the D/s-M/s relationship.

A submissive has more latitude with regard to consent, given this distinction, and continually affirms or reaffirms consensuality with his/her Dominant. They may choose to be a bedroom submissive or a bedroom Dominant. Ordinarily, a slave wouldn't be a part-time slave, although a service slave may get shared between more than one Master.

Pay close attention to what Sylvere advised about making certain you and your partner are on the same page.

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RE: Slave or Sub - 4/30/2014 9:04:57 AM

amazonglamour

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/23/2014
From: NY
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A slave has no autonomy. They are property, and object to be used. A sub is a partner, with their own rights and at least part of a say in things. They obey and serve because they enjoy it, not because they must. It's more of a personality type.

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