Welcome to the discussion forum. I live in Kansas City and there's a fairly active kink scene here. Between KC and Lawrence there must be at least half a dozen kink groups. Have you been to an AHS demo or a Consent KC social? There's literally something going on almost every week. I strongly recommend you get on FetLife, if you haven't already, and take a look at the Events Near Me tab. Get out of the house and go to a munch or other event so you can start networking.
Unless you're married and cheating, you're going to want to change your views about participating in groups. Most of the dominant women in this area don't use CollarMe, they use FetLife, and they want someone they can take to play parties and other social events. If you are married and cheating, you're probably not going to find what you want around here unless you hire an escort.