RE: Switch Hatred (Full Version)

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Rock3tOwls -> RE: Switch Hatred (1/23/2015 4:41:36 PM)

What happened to talking to someone, opening a good dialog, and seeing if you are compatible instead of trusting only in a label? No one every fits entirely into one box. People are complex creatures with emotions and thoughts that vastly differ from person to person. Labels are awesome. They make life easier. But in the same vein, they can make you miss a great person because you didn't ask them why they feel that they fall under a certain label.



DerangedUnit -> RE: Switch Hatred (1/23/2015 5:00:50 PM)

Humans are naturally threatened by what they can't control. They think what they can define can't hurt them... and end up throwing them selves into a cage.



usememistress775 -> RE: Switch Hatred (1/23/2015 6:50:43 PM)

I don't know about others, but as a sub I don't think I could do well if my domme asked me to take on that role so she could fill her need to be a sub as well. It's not that I wouldn't try, but I know I wouldn't be able to give her what she needed.



FullCircle -> RE: Switch Hatred (1/25/2015 1:21:16 PM)

I've noticed a lot of switchist people, there is definitely a lot of switchism floating about. I'm lobbying government for our own parking spaces close to the shops but they say they can't see the point of this! This is the kind of thing we are dealing with on a daily basis. When I think of the valuable contribution us switches make I know they'll be a day when they have to give us equal rights. We have the imagination to set the scene not just experience it. We are the only ones that do unto others as we would have them do unto us. We must rise up and fight to let them know that there is more than two ways! We must make them realise that fixed roles are not everyone's cup of tea. We must show them wanting to experience all the lifestyle has to offer is not a weakness or indecision.



Bhruic -> RE: Switch Hatred (1/25/2015 4:59:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

Ok, I have to ask this... so many people seem to be "anti-switch." It seems like so many people actively detest switches... Any idea why?


Jealousy? People seem to have similar animosity towards bisexuality.



NookieNotes -> RE: Switch Hatred (1/26/2015 3:08:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic


quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

Ok, I have to ask this... so many people seem to be "anti-switch." It seems like so many people actively detest switches... Any idea why?


Jealousy? People seem to have similar animosity towards bisexuality.


Which makes me think.

I believe it's insecurity. A lack of belief in their own capability to judge and pick a partner. After all, a bisexual may leave them for someone of the other (not you) sex, right? And switches may not be "dommly" or "subbie" enough.

But can't you determine who you feel is trustworthy before you get into a relationship with them, regardless of their sexual preferences? Or determine if someone has the right energy to command or obey you before you collar them?

If someone is going to leave you for someone else, isn't that just a sign that you were not ideal for each other, whether they leave you for your own sex or the other?

And if someone is not dominant or submissive enough for you, why would it matter how they are to others? Or if they are, why would it matter how they are to others?

So strange, people are.



Foxynfeisty -> RE: Switch Hatred (7/28/2015 11:38:33 PM)

I'm not sure about hating, but as a switch I find it incredibly frustrating to deal with the conflicting emotions. I think it's harder for us to find LTR's. I can only speak for myself. It's hard for me being a switch because I can't fully submit , I have a very dominant streak. I'm not attracted to very submissive men as most (not all) have sissy tendencies . I also need to be dominated or maybe just topped. A lot is lack of experiences . Not only am I a switch, I'm a little . Talk about a handful. I wouldn't want to deal with me ;) you just can't put a switch in a box .......period



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Switch Hatred (7/29/2015 9:12:54 AM)

FR

Some great replies here.

As I've said many times before, I don't believe anyone is 100% dom or 100% sub, or 100% female or 100% male or 100% gay or 100% hetro.

Human personality can be viewed on a continuum, with all traits and their opposites present on the scale. (This isn't my idea BTW: It's psychology 101).

However, humans do tend to relate strongly in their sexual or orientation preferences. Although I don't believe anyone is 100% male (by that I mean, has no feminine or softer side), a man may very well strongly relate to being male, and might even repress those softer tendencies. This is extremely common in our (US) society.

So there's what you are, which is human and made up of many, many complex personality traits and preferences, and then there's how you relate or how you see yourself.

When I first became interested in BDSM, I came out as a domme. There was no way in hell I was going to call myself submissive. Back then, I saw that softer side as being weak, passive, not capable. And I couldn't relate to that at all. (This is despite always having a male in my life who was sexually dominant.)

Then I had kids and learned to embrace my softer side. I saw quite clearly that my feminine side can be strong too. I learned to appreciate both sides of myself. A switch is who I am, and how I relate to others. For me that just means I am a highly dual natured person. Some of us are. In every facet of my life. I have both strong masculine and feminine traits, I like men and women. I am both left brained and right brained. (I come out 50-50 on all those tests).

It's who I am and there's nothing wrong with it.

Now, there are *some* switches who are not really predominately dom OR predominantly sub. There are switches that prefer to be with another switch, and then there are ones like me who have NEVER switched with the same person. I think this has to do with my own personal intensity. I am either very much one way, or very much another, I am never wishy-washy.

So, when I relate as a sub to someone (like my husband) I am very sub. When I relate as a domme (like with my lamb) I am very dom. I have had people meet me in one context or another, like say, interacting with my husband, and say they could not IMAGINE me as a domme. But there are those who have seen me with my boy who say they could not image me as a sub.

Then there are those who look at me curiously until I say: 'switch.' And then they understand who and what they are dealing with.

Now, do I think lots of people have preconceived ideas about switches? Yes, but mostly online. Do I think there is prejudice against switches? Sure. There is prejudice against any group that can be conceived.

What I don't get is someone attempting to persuade someone they should accept a switch. For me, it's easy-peasy. You don't like switches? Great!! NEXT!!



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Switch Hatred (7/29/2015 10:21:00 AM)

Sorry sweetie, but based on your profile and forum posts, I'd say you're a brat. You are the kind who gives switches a bad name, mainly b/c you don't know who and what you are.

Fetlife has 344 groups just for brats and those who love them. Check it out.



daniel1973 -> RE: Switch Hatred (7/29/2015 10:50:39 AM)

Hmm, I thought that I was a switch once. Dom/sub all a fun game to play. Turns out that what I didn't get from my dominants I wanted to give to my submissives. Didn't work that way.
What I actually craved was a dominant with a strong sense of justice. Ride me hard (please do!) but always be fair.



Foxynfeisty -> RE: Switch Hatred (7/29/2015 11:30:57 AM)

I don't think I give switches a bad name. I agree I am a brat and as I stated in my post , it's mostly from lack of experiences . I'm very new. I am a little and a switch. That's okay!!! I have a need to please and I'm growing in my submissiveness , I'm also one hell of a Domme.....a lot to learn but a natural. Thanks for your opion :)



Foxynfeisty -> RE: Switch Hatred (7/29/2015 11:38:36 AM)

Sorry Daniel that was supposed to have been in response to chatteparfaitt



MariaB -> RE: Switch Hatred (7/29/2015 12:52:47 PM)

On a friendship basis I tend to get along better with switches. I too often to find 'purists' a little too desperate to display or convince me just how dominant/submissive they are; switches just seem to be more laid back about their choices. Who wants to be around people who judge me on the way I giggle or act all girly? In my experience switches just seem to have heaps more confidence...perhaps its because they have nothing to prove.



daniel1973 -> RE: Switch Hatred (7/30/2015 4:21:19 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Foxynfeisty

I don't think I give switches a bad name. I agree I am a brat and as I stated in my post , it's mostly from lack of experiences . I'm very new. I am a little and a switch. That's okay!!! I have a need to please and I'm growing in my submissiveness , I'm also one hell of a Domme.....a lot to learn but a natural. Thanks for your opion :)


No problem, I just wanted to say that I felt he same way - whip me into submission, rope me in slowly, I can do the same for you - but do something, dammit!



bislutdave -> RE: Switch Hatred (7/30/2015 9:03:05 AM)

I feel I am a submissive in my private life but more dom in my work environment. At work I am the "old man" on the crew, so I am looked to for leadership in the younger guys work ethics and there safety. when I get home and shed the work outfit, step onto the shower, I hope to wash that away and be more the way I feel. I enjoy others leading and taking the reins and me being in a more servant place. This doesn't always happen so I don't really care for the dom sub switch labels. We need to be the person we are, for me that is a leader if needed but I prefer to be a follower. Everyone is different in different settings and do what they feel they have to for their good and those around them. This is just the wayi feel about it and my total dislike for labels

dave



spellslave -> RE: Switch Hatred (7/30/2015 11:17:17 AM)

I actually admitted to my Master today that I am, while wholly and unwaveringly submissive to him, innately a switch by nature. He doesn't coax, goad or otherwise make me desire to top him, therefore until now, I hadn't thought to mention it until I was discussing it with another switch friend of mine. He took it really well so, that's a lovely stress off my mind that had started to gnaw at me as of late.

However, I do get the impression that switches are, even if not hated, then at least regarded with some form of distance-keeping or wariness.



Arturas -> RE: Switch Hatred (8/1/2015 10:58:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

Ok, I have to ask this... so many people seem to be "anti-switch." It seems like so many people actively detest switches... Any idea why?



Yes. We avoid what we don't understand. We even might hate things we don't understand feeling that anything we don't understand may not have a good reason for existence. It is human nature. Same way for the negativism for Gays I think.



daniel1973 -> RE: Switch Hatred (8/1/2015 1:01:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

We avoid what we don't understand.


Thats why there are no scientists. None.



epiphiny43 -> RE: Switch Hatred (8/2/2015 3:14:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

We avoid what we don't understand.


Thats why there are no scientists. None.

Nobody projecting themself to the whole of humanity 'round here!
Life beats all the curiosity out of some folks, not all. ALL children have more than they know what to do with, till adults and schools crush it.



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