Aimtoplease101 -> RE: Lower your standards for kink? (7/10/2006 5:48:49 PM)
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ORIGINAL: AAkasha I am especially interested to hear if submissive men have ever lowered their standards (consciously or subconsciously) in order to date/court/be in a relationship with a dominant woman. For example, maybe you tolerated a woman that mistreated your friends, or smoked even though you hated it (and never would have been with a vanilla woman who did that), cheated on you (you forgave easily -- after all, she was dominant, and there aren't many of those around), treated you poorly or other things? Because it's difficult to find a compatible kinky partner, are you guilty of worrying less about the compatibility and hoping that will work itself out? Did it, or did it not? Akasha Perhaps the question is a little inverted. Maybe a more accurate way to perceive of the situation is whether we have a higher standard for non-dominant women partners in areas other than dominance. I think compatibility is a bit of an accumulative equation. There are numerous traits you may want in your "ideal" dream mate. For submissive men, one of those traits in a woman is dominance. Depending on the individual involved, that might be a lot more important than other desired traits (such as, enjoys camping, college educated, long hair, etc.). Since, in reality, we realize that it is extremely unlikely that you'll ever meet anyone who fulfills 100% of each and every of your ideal traits, we go through an internal evaluation process as to whether the woman in question satisfies enough traits-- or satisifies well certain very important traits-- to make us want to pursue a relationship with that woman. For me, a woman's attractiveness, and my interest in her, is greatly influenced by her level of dominance. While I am attracted to non-dominant women as well, their lack of dominance means that they need to catch up in the "attractiveness quotient" area with other appealing traits. Thus, a non-dominant woman has to meet a higher standard on other desirable characteristics in order for me to be as attracted to her as I would be to a more dominant woman. Hope that's helpful. Good question Akasha. Regards, ATP
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