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FieryOpal -> RE: Do Most CM Women Desire Cunnilingus? (5/23/2014 6:48:56 AM)
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Definitely makes my Top 10 List.
quote:
ORIGINAL: undistilled
This is the most depressing thing I've ever read. It just shocks me that apparently so many kinky guys have no effing clue what they're doing when they go down on a woman.
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You would think those of us who are kinky would make better lovers and/or be less sexually inhibited, but that isn't the case at all. Which is pretty sad, because going vanilla can be a desolate wasteland. [:-] There are men who love pussy, and there are those who just want to use pussy and/or use women for whatever suits their purpose, whether BDSM kinky, vanilla-kinky, or strictly vanilla.
Even the ones who profess to love going down on a woman, who may have discovered at some point that they could bring a woman to orgasm this way, may not be that good at it. And kinky guys, oral sex slaves are a dime a dozen. If you aren't much good at it, yet you've put all your eggs in one basket (as is often what happens, being deficit in other areas of sexual performance), you aren't even a one-trick pony.
IMO if a guy hasn't figured out what he's doing sexual performance-wise by the time he's in his 30's, assuming he's been at this for about a decade or more, he just isn't the kind of erotic lover I would want. (It's not as if I'm in my 20's or 30's anymore and can put my sex life on hold while I go about training somebody from scratch, other than just tweaking and finetuning things here and there.)
I can see how this would be awkward for a submissive woman to have to instruct her lover how she likes it, what feels good to her, and how she wants it done.
But is it really fair to expect for a man, any man, to read a woman's mind and not rely on positive feedback? Does being submissive mean you take a backseat (no pun intended) in the love-making dept. and cease to become an active participant?
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Being submissive has nothing to do with being passive. No interactive Dominant wants a passive submissive partner, and few subs wanted to be treated like a doormat either.
BecomingV, I concur that if a full-grown man can't respond to feminine pheromones as designed, then he has other issues going on. Perhaps these men you and smileforme50 are referring to are oblivious to how their own undescended balls reek of badly aged cheese or other unsavory scents themselves. [:o] In a truly intimately bonded relationship which goes beyond just-another-warm-body syndrome, neither partner should be so self-conscious that they can't fully enjoy one another's bodies in every aspect, [mis]perceptions of dominance and submission be damned.
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