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RE: hi and a question - 7/1/2014 8:07:23 AM   
preytolife


Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
Status: offline 		Meh, you can do it. But I don't really see the point to it. I find it overdone and kinda pointless. Congratulations, someone has a face and basic writing skills. They can still fuck you over. You're just going to have to get to know someone first and go slow. Also, don't message profiles from Namibia, Uganda etc if you don't live in those regions. And don't send money.

If you're looking for local people, you can kinda offset issues by meeting early in a public place.

I can understand the concerns really, but I like people to get to know me and if they're that cynical already maybe it's best they don't look for people online.

_____________________________

"No man is so good as to be free from all evil, nor so bad as to be worth nothing." - Norse Proverb

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: hi and a question - 7/1/2014 11:23:48 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Considering the fact that the top is at risk of having the cops called on them, and that they need the info as much as the bottom. And that you really don't want to be giving all your info to someone who might be crazy and stalkerish which you won't know until you meet, I actually recommend not sharing this kind of info until you know you want to see them a second time.

But I don't recommend meeting strange people in hotel rooms on a first meet. I recommend meeting at a Starbucks inside a Barnes & Noble. You get a cup of coffee and a chance to look for a new book. You can tell a lot about people by what books catch their eye. If it's a good meet then move over to a diner for lunch. If not, you still get to go home with a new book. Always a win in my view.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to preytolife)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: hi and a question - 7/1/2014 12:28:29 PM   
phiz22


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		im not asking for anything i wouldn't give, after talking for a while verification is not insulting, or calling them a liar...if the pictures up are them then what issue is posting another of themselves with your name...or a random word on a card. so far i have found 5 fakes out of 7....and if you take at face value the person shown on the profile "is" the person, you are taking at least a 1 in 4 chance of being right. it could be a man just messing with someone, a tranny that is posted as female, a woman with identity issues but not the one in the pictures, or the actual person. and if you are going to meet this person and driving 50 miles or more then 1 in 4 isn't enough.

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: hi and a question - 7/1/2014 12:33:41 PM   
phiz22


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		i understand why someone would show their face to the general public on here, for work or family might find or see it..but my face is up, on every site ive joined...and if someone wants to verify me ..fine i have no issue. and would always meet in public, its more to do with meeting someone else when you have associated a single look or face, only to find the opposite when you finally meet. its a massive waste of my time and can be avoided.

(in reply to phiz22)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: hi and a question - 7/1/2014 1:26:07 PM   
Marioneta


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/4/2014
Status: offline 		I seek lesbian and bisexual women on the site. It's well known how common it is for men to pose as lesbians on CS so, yes, sooner than later, I want to see a personalized picture. And I'm more than happy to provide one, as well, of course.

OP, your situation is different from mine but if you feel this practice helps you to weed out fakes and time-wasters then go for it. I would just suggest you don't ask for the picture until you have a pretty good sense that she is genuinely interested in you.

(in reply to phiz22)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: hi and a question - 7/1/2014 1:32:57 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phiz22

If the pictures up are them then what issue is posting another of themselves with your name...or a random word on a card


Because it still doesn't prove anything and is easily faked, thus you are asking me to waste my time. By the time I'm going to meet someone, they have already seen several photos of me and most likely spoken to me on the phone at least twice. If they don't trust their own judgement, how can they expect me to trust it? It isn't like we are going to play when we meet and we aren't in a dynamic yet.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to phiz22)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: hi and a question - 7/1/2014 1:34:14 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/

Read this if you want to know why women are much more leery than men are. Saying you aren't asking for anything you aren't willing to do doesn't mean anything. Because we have more at risk than a man does.

And again, if this is what you insist on, then expect to be rejected. You're already dealing with the fact that men outnumber women 100 to 1. You want to make sure that one person who will write back won't meet you? Then keep insisting on 'proof'. Which can be easily faked btw and doesn't prove anything.

If you want to meet a woman, then you have to do what she thinks is safe for her. Insisting on anything else tells us that you don't care about our safety. And doing that guarantees you won't be seen as someone we want to talk to.

So plan that hour drive for a day when there's something you need to buy in the big city you're meeting in. Or when there's a new museum exhibition you can see. Or meet halfway which isn't such a long ride.

Remember, Americans routinely drive an hour each way to work so complaining about that ride isn't going to get you a lot of sympathy.

Or drive that hour to your local munch and make friends there.

You have options, any of which will require some work on your part. Complaining about that comes across as though you are lazy and selfish. Which is not the first impression you want to make.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to phiz22)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: hi and a question - 7/2/2014 4:24:26 AM   
phiz22


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		Marioneta, ty i thought that i had but still after weeks of messages and seemed to be getting along well the person was rather pissed and stopped talking for a week.chatting no issue..but if i have liked, looked at and initiated chat then its because i like the look and general profile content...and after all that until you actually see a "real" picture it can and probably is someone else. this is just my spin..each to their own.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: hi and a question - 7/2/2014 5:07:39 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Oh, and if you are going to ask for pictures, ALWAYS be prepared to send yours first.


I've been told before that woman X 'will never send pictures' (because of her high profile career, or some such), but that 'I can assure you you won't be disappointed'. Nup. Vanity at best. I *know* that I'll be disappointed.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: hi and a question - 7/2/2014 6:56:23 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phiz22

hi been on here while but never really got into it as much as i thought, until recently.
the question for all is...in asking for a potential sub/slave/pet to meet.. who would first ask said sub to verify with a face pic with card and your name on it...is that a insulting request?? for me it helps weed out the fakes and timewasters.

phiz




I usually ask for a face pic before meeting, before even talking much at all, because I don't like talking to someone faceless to me. But no, it's not required all the time and I've definitely ever had one verify with a name-pic card in the image. I've done that myself for website signups for work stuff, but not for a person and wouldn't ask someone.

I'd find it insulting, yes.

If going to a coffee shop or such is so very much an issue that if I got stood up or misled it would be damaging to me or my life with the time or effort it takes, I just wouldn't agree to meet in the first place.

For me, popping out to read a book and have a cup of coffee is pleasant whether or not they show up and same if they are or are not what they have made me expect.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to phiz22)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: hi and a question - 7/2/2014 9:29:30 AM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		How soon do you start talking on the phone with these women? Before or after you ask them for a photo with a word on it?

(in reply to phiz22)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: hi and a question - 7/2/2014 4:57:48 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phiz22

hi been on here while but never really got into it as much as i thought, until recently.
the question for all is...in asking for a potential sub/slave/pet to meet.. who would first ask said sub to verify with a face pic with card and your name on it...is that a insulting request?? for me it helps weed out the fakes and timewasters.

phiz



nahhfuslkymsjhwhwhrjdhhahwh3ehrjdksks.

(in reply to phiz22)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: hi and a question - 7/2/2014 7:55:12 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		Asking them to hold a card with my name on it is so... well... yesterday.

I normally demand a facial tattoo.

Since doing that, I have discovered that everyone is fake because they instantly stop communication.

Try this.

You're welcome.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: hi and a question - 7/3/2014 7:07:21 AM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		Why would you be concerned with offending her? If she doesn't like that part of your character, which will show up in other ways, why would you want her to see anything but the genuine you? Of course there are times that we all get a bit out of character to deal with or obtain something that we aren't comfortable with, which can easily be explained, if questioned. But the most important thing for you to do is be genuine. That truth in character will give any potential submissive a clear foundation to build their relationship with you from. Being wishy-washy will only create confusion.

EDITED TO ADD:

You are who you are. Know yourself, accept yourself and be yourself. That confidence in who you are allows others to be confident in who you are.

< Message edited by DomDolf -- 7/3/2014 7:09:11 AM >

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: hi and a question - 7/5/2014 3:35:40 AM   
phiz22


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		popping down the road to meet for a coffee is great and would ask if that was the case....but when its a couple of hundred miles as a round trip then i would want to know im not being suckered.
im not worried emotionally if im stood or set up..its the more practical time and money issue:P


(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: hi and a question - 7/5/2014 10:23:03 PM   
smitten77


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/19/2014
Status: offline 		As a sub woman, I do get tons of mail, and I spend a good amount of time picking through and deciding who to communicate with. Those who were demanding got the cold shoulder, not because I am not real, but because that is still my choice. Too many men think the word sub means they may make any demands on me that they wish, without consideration. If I needed to prove to you who I was and my intent with such a picture, then we are not ready to meet. If I am comfortable enough to meet for coffee, then we have spent enough time getting to know each other, and you will already have my pictures.

Smitten




quote:

ORIGINAL: Domnotlooking

Insulting?

No. A little paranoid maybe.

The big question is will the women go for it?

I'm guessing not. Sub women here are getting tons of mail from less demanding correspondents. they will likely tell you to go whistle.

Meeting women that are complete strangers who SAY they want to get tied up and spanked will always be a bit of a crazy undertaking.

How could it be otherwise?


(in reply to Domnotlooking)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: hi and a question - 7/7/2014 1:55:06 AM   
SlavingGrace79


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/4/2014
Status: offline 		Whats wrong with cutting thro all the bullshit and jumping on cam for 5 minutes.... together... Say hi... wow.. easy.. done.

Its not rude imo

when I was single... I did not go meet random ppl who I didn't know what the F they looked like. Funny.... there's a lot of Dominants who like to hide their pic's too... can't get on a cam.... BS radar... bloop bloop bloop

In this day and age.. if some one is hiding what they look like.. red flag

_____________________________

back to kick some ass...... beeotch

(in reply to smitten77)
Profile   Post #: 37
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