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BecomingV -> RE: TPE without the connection? (8/6/2014 11:34:43 AM)
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Objectification is a very complex kink. I've seen three variations on the boards here: Madonna/whore types, SOME sissy maids and mummification/furniture play. There are other forms of objectification, but those are the the ones you could search for here, and read about on multiple threads.
I thought about adding sadomasochism as a fourth expression of objectification, but that is only sometimes true, and it appears to be more true, when those participants are "hard players" or "edge players." I admit to feeling not well-versed enough to evaluate pet play, as a form of objectification. From local experience, I'd say that pet play is akin to age play, in that it suspends disbelief to accommodate role play. I defer to the experience of others in regard to these kinks, as they relate to objectification.
The extreme objectification seems to be the mummified or furniture play. There is no human consideration in this beyond the need for safety. (Does the "chair" have a slipped disc or can the mummy breathe?) This is an owner/object relationship and is inherently, a TPE activity. Both are temporary acts, so whether the relationship remains TPE when the act is over, will vary.
The Madonna/whore complex types. Some people's sexuality is split into two extremes. Good girls or ladies, deserving of respect and protection, qualify as marriage material. These women appear to be mostly, non-sexual. Then, there are the sluts, whores, cunts and bitches. These women enjoy sexuality: in practice, in fashion and in speech. These women are extramarital affair material. There is no "whole person" view available to the Madonna/whore sufferers.
In BDSM, these types ^^^ are the Doms, who find a "good girl" sub, who has been similarly polarized and therefore, needs to be objectified (slut, cunt) to release her from the "lady" limitations. She cums like gangbusters, but only when he gives her permission to, in the name of serving his pleasure. Those two types "fit" except when it comes to her desire to share his vanilla life (whether he is married, or single). He wouldn't be caught dead being associated with a woman like that!
As is easy to imagine, men with this pathology are drawn to D/s. When he controls everything, it's much easier to manage women in their lives when transparency and full-disclosure can be avoided with a few simple lies. And, they come to this with a moral code that says, when a woman is sexual, she's unworthy of respect. She gets what she deserves. Many a female submissive has learned the hard way that her Dom, is actually one of those types. She was an object of abuse, when she thought she was an object of pleasure.
That's one reason why I agree with those who advise we get to know each other in a vanilla way - before entering into a D/s relationship. Over time, it becomes clear, if that is what is going on, or if they guy can actually be a Dominant.
Some pre-op, M to F, transsexuals, use the sissy maid kink, to experience time during which they may cross-dress, do what they view as "women's work," while gaining the feedback of the dominant person they serve. They don't want to be treated as the man they currently are (physically), which is how the rest of the world treats them, rather they want to be treated as the woman they will be (physically). Some, will never have the surgery, and this is a way to live their true selves, safely and with support. Please note, I said, SOME sissy maids... others are doing very different things with that kink which has nothing to do with objectification.
While it's good to have a relationship, of any kind, which is win/win, in the objectification kink, what the "object" wins may not be so clear to "outsiders."
If I'm understanding your question in your OP, taking into account that you are "experienced," then I think your confusion arises from the fact you have been presented with an offer that entails objectification of BOTH of you. You, get to objectify the slave in ways which add to your life, BUT this particular slave, outside of those activities, is not available for anything else. That means, that YOU are being "used" in the service of the slave's kink.
Now, I can already "hear" the groans about yet another sub/slave, seeking a kink-delivery system (objectification of the Dom/Domme). I don't share that outrage, at all. In my view, if you "match" then you "match." So, if this person is offering you a situation you would like, then try it. If you don't like it, then reject it.
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