In the beginning, money issues

In the beginning, money issues (Full Version)

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Mya52556 -> In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 3:39:22 PM)
In the beginning of a new communication between a Master and a slave, is it appropriate for a slave to say no to a Master who requires the slave to purchase things for his amusement, not necessarily things she wants or needs. This is at the very beginning where they are communicating by email or IM only and have not met. The purchases can be anything from $10 to $500 items.

SusanofO -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 3:49:18 PM)
Well, personally, I'd question a request like that, but that's just me. To some people, it might be okay. Until I'd have met someone in person, or talked to them extensively by phone and really trusted them, I'd not be buying anything for them. If it wasn't requested, and I really liked them, I might send flowers, or a book or some other little thing I might know they'd like, but that's about it. But again, that's just me. It sounds a little greedy and also presumptious (to me) on the part of the Dominant person. - Susan

FirmhandKY -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 4:07:18 PM)
Well, each to his own, but here is my philosophy on the issue. First, it's very easy for a supposed "master" to convince many (not all, maybe not most, but many) subs to do things that isn't in their best interest. Such men, I suspect are "testing out" to see if a sub is easily taken advantage of. If she is, then she IS taken advantage of. Because of this, I not only do not want a sub to buy anything - at all - for me, I've not wanted them to invest a lot in the expense of meetings or anything else, unless and until I've decided that she has a high likelihood of being "the sub for me". At that time, then I might feel comfortable letting a sub buy me something. But even then ... I don't think I'd require it, and would be uncomfortable with anything expensive. FHky

Mya52556 -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 4:18:17 PM)
The purchases are not necessarily for the Master but at his request. For instance, he may want me to have 5 inch heels instead of 4 inch heels or they have to be white instead of black. Or maybe he wants me to get a faster internet connection rather than dial-up. Or he wants me to buy a webcam. It just seems that each Master has his own requirements and if I had met Him and we had formed an agreement to work toward a common goal then I would not mind spending the money. But when it is someone new who I have not met and they make requests, I just wondered if it is appropriate to say no. I have been taken advantage of in the past so made a new boundary not to spend money until I had met them but am taking some grief because of it.

bandit25 -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 4:29:22 PM)
Of course it's appropriate to say no. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with. A faster internet connection would benefit you, but 5 inch heels instead of 4? I'm prolly going to take some grief for this but if some dom I hadn't met told me to go and buy 5 inch heels or black instead of white, I 'd explain (as nicely as possible) that I don't have the means and if that's what he requires, then he's going to have to purchase them for me. Now, I don't expect that anyone would do so, but it might give him food for thought.

juliaoceania -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 4:31:34 PM)
Um.... These things ARE for him to get his rocks off. The webcam is so he can see you The heels might be a fetish item for him to watch you in The higher speed connection is so he can watch you better Personally I wouldn't buy fetish items for someone I hadn't met yet... I am a single mom though and I have better things to spend my money on rather than purchasing things for some stranger that wants to watch me masturbate for him on cam at my expense..Just me ... could be wrong

amayos -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 4:32:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mya52556 In the beginning of a new communication between a Master and a slave, is it appropriate for a slave to say no to a Master who requires the slave to purchase things for his amusement, not necessarily things she wants or needs. This is at the very beginning where they are communicating by email or IM only and have not met. The purchases can be anything from $10 to $500 items. From my point of view, monetary tyranny is something to be exercised upon a servile soul after a bond has been formed. Those who would demand tribute in such excess in the beginning wield and assume a power that is entirely premature and unjustified; a slave is not a slave until it is a slave. Until that time, tithing and tribute in surplus quantity is akin to bleeding so much into the void; it is an unwise gesture of loyalty towards the faceless idol of a future which is not set.

Caretakr -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 4:39:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: amayos quote: ORIGINAL: Mya52556 In the beginning of a new communication between a Master and a slave, is it appropriate for a slave to say no to a Master who requires the slave to purchase things for his amusement, not necessarily things she wants or needs. This is at the very beginning where they are communicating by email or IM only and have not met. The purchases can be anything from $10 to $500 items. From my point of view, monetary tyranny is something to be exercised upon a servile soul after a bond has been formed. Those who would demand tribute in such excess in the beginning wield and assume a power that is entirely premature and unjustified; a slave is not a slave until it is a slave. Until that time, tithing and tribute in surplus quantity is akin to bleeding so much into the void; it is an unwise gesture of loyalty towards the faceless idol of a future which is not set. Nodding.........shorthand, no payola without a payback.[;)]

IronBear -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 4:53:50 PM)
If a Dominant can't be op front and out in the open regarding finances etc then IMO they not a Dominant but a wannabe

Mya52556 -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 5:09:56 PM)
Thank you for your responses. Unfortunately, I still have the coins in my pocket but still no Master. Sigh!

IronBear -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 5:14:06 PM)
Masterless better is than coin eating pseudo-master.

Mya52556 -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 5:24:28 PM)
IronBear, that is so true.

OsideGirl -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 7:12:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Masterless better is than coin eating pseudo-master. Well said.

PrincessGirlie -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 8:36:57 PM)
The coins in a nice savings acct or invested is so much more of a sure thing than a "Master" over a webcam / internet connection. ... even in a bad economy.

justheather -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 8:50:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mya52556 The purchases can be anything from $10 to $500 items. That's a huge span. If Im spending 500.00 on something at a dom's (not even my dom yet) command it better either a. be saving the life of someone I know b. involve my sipping drinks with umbrellas in them by a pool or c. make my car go when it wouldnt Do people have that kind of money, really?????

Sparr0w -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/11/2006 10:33:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mya52556 In the beginning of a new communication between a Master and a slave, is it appropriate for a slave to say no to a Master who requires the slave to purchase things for his amusement, not necessarily things she wants or needs. This is at the very beginning where they are communicating by email or IM only and have not met. The purchases can be anything from $10 to $500 items. Do I see it as being appropriate? Absolutly not. Sounds to me as if he can not afford them himself, so he's looking for someone to fund his little 'fun box'. Just my opinion though. quote: The purchases are not necessarily for the Master but at his request. For instance, he may want me to have 5 inch heels instead of 4 inch heels or they have to be white instead of black. Or maybe he wants me to get a faster internet connection rather than dial-up. Or he wants me to buy a webcam. It just seems that each Master has his own requirements and if I had met Him and we had formed an agreement to work toward a common goal then I would not mind spending the money. But when it is someone new who I have not met and they make requests, I just wondered if it is appropriate to say no. I have been taken advantage of in the past so made a new boundary not to spend money until I had met them but am taking some grief because of it. The ole "if you don't do this, you can't be a real submissive/slave' speech? Personally, I would not buy anything that I, myself, did not need/want. I absolutly would not do it simply because a man/woman I have never met tells me I have to.

RavenMuse -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/12/2006 4:06:27 AM)
Base principle: If I am suggesting something, fine the girl can comply IF she is able, but if I REQUIRE it I provide it. End of!

subedana -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/12/2006 5:27:36 AM)
If I haven't even met the person yet they get nothing from me but polite chat. Then after we meet it can be discussed. And we'll see if it fits in my budget. If I can't afford something I won't be getting it. If said "master" wants it he can get it.

CrappyDom -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/12/2006 5:31:44 AM)
Spend the money for dinner at a local BDSM munch and you can get someone to buy you stuff and then can throw the computer out the window.

Bearlee -> RE: In the beginning, money issues (7/12/2006 5:51:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mya52556 The purchases are not necessarily for the Master but at his request. For instance, he may want me to have 5 inch heels instead of 4 inch heels or they have to be white instead of black. Or maybe he wants me to get a faster internet connection rather than dial-up. Or he wants me to buy a webcam. It just seems that each Master has his own requirements and if I had met Him and we had formed an agreement to work toward a common goal then I would not mind spending the money. But when it is someone new who I have not met and they make requests, I just wondered if it is appropriate to say no. I have been taken advantage of in the past so made a new boundary not to spend money until I had met them but am taking some grief because of it. Perhaps like you, I often pose questions here just to consider stuff. Sometimes I end up answering my own question...like it seems you have done here! Good for you. This internet thing is a means to an end....IMHO. It's just a way to find people with whom you might be compatable. You've got to move it PAST the computer, though. Meet people for coffee! A good person, Dominant or no, would want to know more about you than sex-tricks by webcam. Get to know people, go meet them for lunch a few times before you start investing a lot of money or intimate time with them. But then, I think you already know this. [:)]

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