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InHisHeart -> RE: Reward/Punishment (9/17/2014 1:13:53 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: smileforme50
I guess my question is that I what I see in most traditional DD relationships is the submissive (usually woman) being punished for doing things that most even in the vanilla world consider to be "common sense". I can understand a Dom punishing a sub for not following a rule that she has never had to follow before in her life until meeting this Dom and is trying to get used to it.
But what I always hear about in DD relationships is them getting punished for things they should have learned from their parents when they were a child.
Do you mean DD as domestic discipline or daddy/daughter relationship (as someone else mentioned?) If Daddy/daughter, that is not our relationship. If you mean domestic discipline, that is involved in our relationship. As I said in my first reply on this thread, it's very rare when I'm disciplined and when I am it is most likely due to talking back sarcastically when he has made a decision or not doing something he tells me to do.
I'll give an example of the last time it happened (approximately a year ago). We were watching TV and our dogs started busting our ass to go out. I got up to let them out and he told me not to because they were out for an hour 20 minutes earlier. I should have just said "ok" but I didn't. I asked him what the big deal was, if they want to go out why not let them out. He said they'll be out for 2 minutes and want to come back in, they don't have to go out, they're fine till later on. I still didn't let it go, I got snippy with him, asked him how he knows whether or not they have to fucking piss or shit and said if one of them pisses/shits on the floor, you get to clean it up.
He gave me two opportunities to listen to him and do as he said (underlined above) but I kept pushing the issue. Do I normally push a non-issue such as that? No, I don't! I was in a bitchy mood that day, it was one of those days where anything that can go wrong, will go wrong and I pushed his buttons when I shouldn't have.
He does not tolerate the kind of bullshit I gave him and I am fully aware of it.
My discipline for this was I had to cook dinner for the next 2 nights and he decided what I was to cook. He does most of the cooking, he enjoys doing it and he knows I don't. I'm a good cook but I despise cooking, I find no enjoyment in it at all and I did enough of it when I was with my former Dom/husband and raising our family for over 20 years and have since retired myself from cooking!
He never uses corporal punishment or anything we do during play as a form of punishment, he never confuses play items (flogger, paddle, etc.) with discipline. My punishments are things I don't like, two that he uses often are cooking and going to HomeDepot/Lowes with him. I like going to those stores by myself, I'm in and out.........with him is a whole different story. He's always working on a project and thinking of what he needs for the next project he has lined up (right now he's gutting and redoing the garage) so when he goes to a hardware store, pack a lunch cause we'll be there for a long time and it bores the hell out of me.
As CreativeDominant said....."It depends on the dynamic...to each couple, their own. But I will tell you one thing...before I entered into a dynamic with a Dominant, were I submissive, I'd make damn sure there was a conversation about their point of view about correction, discipline, punishment, funishment...and my own view." Absolutely! We discussed these things in depth from the beginning when we first started talking before we were even in a relationship, there was no stone left unturned, there was no confusion about his expectations or my expectations.
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