FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PandoraFoxxx
quote:
ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
Punishment and sadism are only subsets of BDSM, and not everyone has to participate in them.
^^^^ YES.
There is also absolutely nothing that says a submissive shouldn't enjoy themselves, and nothing that says a Dominant shouldn't take pleasure in a submissive's enjoyment of an activity or activities. If you want to get down to brass tacks - it is my personal belief that when a submissive is enjoying themselves, they let go of all control over the situation.
Also, if a particular submissive lives to serve his or her Dominant - and thus takes great pleasure from that service - isn't that the point? Similarly, if a Dominant has a particular something he or she enjoys doing (and it happens to bring great pleasure to the submissive) isn't it their right, as the one in control, to take their pleasure how they choose?
I find the whole "you shall suffer and take no pleasure because I am in control" dun dun dunnnnn as the silliest, most pompous amatuer hour crap ever. I mean, come on, we're talking about a relationship here. If it's all one sided, D/s or otherwise, it ain't gonna last long.
OP, you are questioning whether a submissive has the right to have needs, wants and desires of his/her own, and we're all telling you that YES YES YES you do. All aspects of D/s and BDSM are based on a foundation of consensuality. This means BOTH parties consent to what it is that they do. This is why it's important to find a compatible match who enjoys the same sorts of things that you do, whether this revolves solely around kinks & fetishes, or extends beyond the sexual/play arena.
As RockRolla pointed out, in so many words, not all kinksters whether they be Dominant-Top or submissive-bottom (the usual pairing, but not always) are sado-masochistic. I am not a Sadist and I don't seek a masochist. Neither do I have a (humiliation &) punishment dynamic. Discipline, yes, but that isn't the same thing. Furthermore, there's punishment and then there's funishment. Punishment is a form of Discipline that is intended to correct or teach a lesson, and it's not intended to be enjoyable whatsoever. If it were enjoyable, it wouldn't be punishment and would serve no constructive purpose in bettering or improving the s-type (sub, slave). What IS intended to be mutually enjoyable is what is called funishment.
Are there subs who aren't masochists who serve Sadistic Dominants? Yes, I hear about it all the time, those subs with the mindset that so-called *proof* of their submission is to blindly do whatever it is the Dominant wants or to cater to the Dominant's whims. Is that how a meaningful relationship of any kind is supposed to be? I think not. Not in a friendship, FWB arrangement, as play partner Tops & bottoms, in a (non-sexual) service sub capacity or as an M/s slave, within a committed D/s LTR, marriage, or what have you. Dominants are not special superhuman alien beings with magical powers, although there may be some who act like they think they are. 
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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau
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How do you all feel about play? - 
Profile
) abound here. But since vanilla guys don't recoil at the prospect either, 
, nameless faceless virtual offers from strangers just aren't that enticing.
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