RE: You met your online sub: Errr...ok? NOT what you expected

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RE: You met your online sub: Errr...ok? NOT what you ex... - 10/28/2014 6:41:31 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

FR, my issue with be the dishonesty. I would feel pity more than anything and would likely continue the date without a hitch, but some of these guys really think they look like their pictures or something because they feel like they're a total catch despite being aged 20 years over displayed photo.
I like getting out and meeting people, it offers difference in perspective and rarely do I ever regret a meeting. Doesn't look like photo, big deal. Not pulling out a chair would piss me off more.
I'm polite til we part ways but they can tell by initial reaction (usually) it's not going anywhere, but I'm nice enough to keep them comfortable when people see this "odd couple" show up to a nice restaurant, LOL. Funny how people react to aesthetics, my ex and I got many compliments on how we looked together, believe it or not. This lady even called us models while out shopping, her coworker literally yelled at her about it. We got a lot of attention as a couple, both tall and athletic.
I find I am most comfortable with someone who is as close to my physical match as possible. (Male version). Training him to be that is not an issue, I love hearing gym grunts.

For me the catfishing dishonesty would be the straw that broke the camel's back. A winning personality will grab me, even if just for a moment. (Nice ass doesn't hurt).

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to starkem)

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RE: You met your online sub: Errr...ok? NOT what you ex... - 10/29/2014 7:56:18 AM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SWDesertDom

I had a inverse experience. Flew across the country to meet someone, first thing out of her mouth "wow, you're short."

I'm the exact height my profile states, Apparently some people don't bother to pay attention to that.

I love e-mails asking if I'm really 5'4". Like I'd lie about that.

Ouch.

I personally don't see the benefit of being anything but upfront about physical appearance. Now, if someone chooses not to believe it, that to me shows a complete lack of touch with reality. If they can't handle the "reality" of this....in what other ways are they living in a fantasy world?

Now, in terms of "putting your best foot forward"....IMO, that's to be expected when exchanging photos. The photo that I've been using recently is one that I really like of myself. Thing is...I'm dressed up more than I generally am (not overly so though), and *gasp* my normally very curly hair was blown out straight that day. I just happen to really like this photo, and it makes me feel good when I can share it. First thing I tell people is that, no, the hair is not naturally straight...and no, I have no plans to do anything permanent to make it that way.

In terms of getting a photo from him, I would expect the same thing...in that he would send me one that he likes of himself...whether in the way he looks in it, or what he's doing. My only expectation is that it be recent (like within the past year or so).

I view photos as what they are...a snapshot of *one moment in time*. No one photo is going to encompass everything...but I do believe that they can give a good overall impression of the person. Same with camming. The impression given depends on the day. But, at the end of the day, nothing will be as good as meeting someone in person and actually *spending time with them*.

(in reply to SWDesertDom)

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Post #: 22

RE: You met your online sub: Errr...ok? NOT what you ex... - 10/29/2014 8:43:13 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: SWDesertDom

I had a inverse experience. Flew across the country to meet someone, first thing out of her mouth "wow, you're short."

I'm the exact height my profile states, Apparently some people don't bother to pay attention to that.

I love e-mails asking if I'm really 5'4". Like I'd lie about that.

Ouch.

I personally don't see the benefit of being anything but upfront about physical appearance. Now, if someone chooses not to believe it, that to me shows a complete lack of touch with reality. If they can't handle the "reality" of this....in what other ways are they living in a fantasy world?

Now, in terms of "putting your best foot forward"....IMO, that's to be expected when exchanging photos. The photo that I've been using recently is one that I really like of myself. Thing is...I'm dressed up more than I generally am (not overly so though), and *gasp* my normally very curly hair was blown out straight that day. I just happen to really like this photo, and it makes me feel good when I can share it. First thing I tell people is that, no, the hair is not naturally straight...and no, I have no plans to do anything permanent to make it that way.

In terms of getting a photo from him, I would expect the same thing...in that he would send me one that he likes of himself...whether in the way he looks in it, or what he's doing. My only expectation is that it be recent (like within the past year or so).

I view photos as what they are...a snapshot of *one moment in time*. No one photo is going to encompass everything...but I do believe that they can give a good overall impression of the person. Same with camming. The impression given depends on the day. But, at the end of the day, nothing will be as good as meeting someone in person and actually *spending time with them*.

I agree littleladybug, though adversely when someone sends me a picture of themselves 20 years prior or at their best angle, I feel like meeting face to face is very anticlimatic. I used to make the same mistake actually. I had a number of glam shots that I matured enough to realize looked NOTHING like me offline. Yes I'm still solidly attractive but I really try to send very candid, recent close up pictures of my face. The less shopped, the less professionally done, the better.
Also when I go out for the first date I try to do a lot less than I used to. Less makeup, less pushup bras, less perfect hair, less stiletto heels. I go for "this is what you're gonna look at everyday buddy" kind of angle. I myself was being somewhat dishonest with my glam shots though they were not professionally done, they were still over the top and not a good representation of who I am. I'm glad someone called me out on it because I think my photos today unshopped are better than my shopped photos back then.
I feel only pictures with my face in them are representative of my "true self" nowadays though my avatar was taken with my webcam randomly.
It's a "get in touch with reality" thing as you said though we can glam it up to spice things up to cater to the fantasy as well.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 10/29/2014 8:44:25 AM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to littleladybug)

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Post #: 23

RE: You met your online sub: Errr...ok? NOT what you ex... - 10/29/2014 8:47:49 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

It has happened to me before. Silly 50 yr old men, sending me pics when they were 30 yr old. And then lying about their age too.

That usually already spoils everything because they are so insecure. And they call themselves dominants. Geez! Bad impression already and I definitely will not go any further with them after that, and will infact, become a unpleasant demanding brat to intimidate them and also chase them away.

So the thing is, I actually love 50 yr olds, but I just hate people who are not secure about their age.

Another thing that drives me nuts is when a man says his caucasian but a North Indian shows up instead. And then argues semantics with me that their race is under the category of caucasian. I have no issues with Indian dudes, but they need to just to be Indian and Proud.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/29/2014 8:49:56 AM >

(in reply to AAkasha)

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RE: You met your online sub: Errr...ok? NOT what you ex... - 10/29/2014 9:48:32 AM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

I used to make the same mistake actually. I had a number of glam shots that I matured enough to realize looked NOTHING like me offline. Yes I'm still solidly attractive but I really try to send very candid, recent close up pictures of my face. The less shopped, the less professionally done, the better.

Can't say that I've ever sent a professional or photoshopped photo. However, with that being said, I know that there are people out there who would assume that I would be wearing a skirt and heels at all times, and for all purposes. I knew I was in "trouble" with one Dom when I had to tell him that, no, that would NOT be my attire when walking the dogs in the morning. LOL

In reality, this was a photo taken in a "work setting"... so nothing over the top. IMO, how people take it is their issue, not mine.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

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Post #: 25