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this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/26/2014 4:49:37 PM

KYsissy

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https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10152357063881750&id=78718551749

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/26/2014 4:52:18 PM

Moderator3

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I'm really sorry if anyone was writing a response to the earlier post. Copyrights. I tried to catch it as quickly as I could.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/26/2014 4:59:43 PM

KYsissy

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Reese's??

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/26/2014 5:01:33 PM

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Reese's and chocolate almond.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/27/2014 6:59:59 AM

Bhruic

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This looks like it is shaping up to be a complicated story, but that the CBC fired him without any allegations being made, apparently solely because of his tastes in the bedroom, seems unjust to me.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/27/2014 9:55:09 AM

KYsissy

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There was a guy locally that ran one of the BDSM groups, his employer found out about it and made him choose his job or the group.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/27/2014 1:54:07 PM

Bhruic

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Here is a really good commentary on what is unfolding in Toronto... and how it impacts the BDSM community:

http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2014/10/27/poor-persecuted-pervert/

Sorry... posted wrong link initially.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 10/27/2014 2:01:18 PM >

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/27/2014 2:41:15 PM

Tantriqu

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We understand it's not his sexual tastes, but rather that they were reflected in a generally disrespectful attitude to female CBC coworkers and a frank case of sexual harassment.
And from the facebook link:
he “struck them with a closed fist or open hand; bit them; choked them until they almost passed out; covered their nose and mouth so that they had difficulty breathing; and that they were verbally abused during and after sex.” And that all of this was allegedly without their consent.'
Sounds like another loser excusing his sociopathic/misogynist behaviour as 'dominant'.
What a dumbass!
Good riddance.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/27/2014 2:44:08 PM

KYsissy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

Here is a really good commentary on what is unfolding in Toronto... and how it impacts the BDSM community:

http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2014/10/27/poor-persecuted-pervert/

Sorry... posted wrong link initially.

Very interesting perspective and some valid points raised. I have zero knowledge of the players involved. How this ultimately plays out could hold some important lessons.

< Message edited by KYsissy -- 10/27/2014 2:45:25 PM >

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/27/2014 9:31:44 PM

Tantriqu

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If you're American, imagine a younger Charlie Rose hiring your young daughter for PBS then his rubbing up against her at a staff party and telling her he wants to hate-fuck her.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/28/2014 8:08:04 AM

Bhruic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

We understand it's not his sexual tastes, but rather that they were reflected in a generally disrespectful attitude to female CBC coworkers and a frank case of sexual harassment.
And from the facebook link:
he “struck them with a closed fist or open hand; bit them; choked them until they almost passed out; covered their nose and mouth so that they had difficulty breathing; and that they were verbally abused during and after sex.” And that all of this was allegedly without their consent.'
Sounds like another loser excusing his sociopathic/misogynist behaviour as 'dominant'.
What a dumbass!
Good riddance.

That is the allegation. But as yet made only by a newspaper. No individuals have yet come forward, or made charges. In the case of the relationships, Ghomeshi claims to have proof of consent. (before anyone lays in to me, I am just reporting what is known at this time)

It will be interesting to see if BDSM did indeed play any part in these relationships, or if he is just using that as a cover for violence to women. And if BDSM did play a part, what impact that will have on the BDSM community.|

I know, for example, some people have been moved by this story to investigate the idea of consensual BDSM within the law. I have seen comments such as:

"The Supreme Court of Canada states there is no such thing as "consensual" sex if a person is harmed."

They interpret that to mean that there is no such thing, in the eyes of the law, as consensual BDSM. And yet, that obviously cannot be the correct interpretation, as there are many legal activities that amount to consensual violence, with intent to harm... such as boxing, or ultimate fighting.

I presume in this case, you have to look deeper into the legal interpretation of both "harm" and "consent".

Whether it turns out to be a case of BDSM, or straightforward violence against women, it is certainly bringing BDSM in to the spot light.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 10/28/2014 8:12:51 AM >

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/28/2014 10:31:05 AM

Tantriqu

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A sub /madochist would say something different; a frightened vanilla in non-consensual sadism would say this. And what they feared has come to pass, thst *they* are the aggressors trying to ruin a man's reputation. Sickening that the NFL beatdowns have only taught us that today's jaded public don't believe women even if it's on tape.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/28/2014 12:06:44 PM

littleladybug

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

That is the allegation. But as yet made only by a newspaper. No individuals have yet come forward, or made charges. In the case of the relationships, Ghomeshi claims to have proof of consent. (before anyone lays in to me, I am just reporting what is known at this time)

I'm wondering what this "proof of consent" is going to be. If he's describing what he engaged in as "mild 50 Shades of Grey", my guess would be that this "proof" that he has will be some e-mails or texts from the gals stating that this might be a "neat thing to try" or something of that sort. If I were a betting person, I would wager, with the limited information we have at this point, that there was not any in-depth conversations regarding likes, dislikes, limits, etc.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

I know, for example, some people have been moved by this story to investigate the idea of consensual BDSM within the law. I have seen comments such as:

"The Supreme Court of Canada states there is no such thing as "consensual" sex if a person is harmed."

They interpret that to mean that there is no such thing, in the eyes of the law, as consensual BDSM. And yet, that obviously cannot be the correct interpretation, as there are many legal activities that amount to consensual violence, with intent to harm... such as boxing, or ultimate fighting.

From the couple of articles that I have read, it seems that these cases are not directly "on point" with BDSM, so it should be interesting to see (if this case does get that far) how the Courts handle this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic
I presume in this case, you have to look deeper into the legal interpretation of both "harm" and "consent".

It seems to me that, with this case, one of the big issues will be exactly what was consented to.

With boxing, or MMA, you pretty much know the parameters of what you will be exposed to when you enter the ring from the get go. With BDSM, not at all.

Also, there will be the issue of withdrawal of consent, I'm sure.

Will certainly be interesting to follow.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/28/2014 6:46:20 PM

DesFIP

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Four different women doesn't make this a case of being upset that the relationship didn't work. It's a pattern.

And yeah, if you choke someone and they die, you are going to go to prison for manslaughter at least, and most probably murder. Doing stupid things with equally stupid people doesn't mean you get a pass on consequences.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/29/2014 6:48:15 PM

stef

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Here's at least one case where it appears there was no consent. This is going to get ugly.

http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2014/10/29/jian_ghomeshi_8_women_accuse_former_cbc_host_of_violence_sexual_abuse_or_harassment.html

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/29/2014 7:06:20 PM

KYsissy

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8 now. I think it already got ugly.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/29/2014 8:03:09 PM

RockaRolla

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Yeah, at this point I'm not buying the "My crazy ex got 8 women to make false accusations against me" line.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/30/2014 1:38:05 PM

Lucylastic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

Here's at least one case where it appears there was no consent. This is going to get ugly.

http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2014/10/29/jian_ghomeshi_8_women_accuse_former_cbc_host_of_violence_sexual_abuse_or_harassment.html

I was just about to post this
He seems to like punching and choking women without consent
certainly makes him a lousy "dominant"

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 10/30/2014 4:47:35 PM

Bhruic

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It turns out, in Canada anyway, the the law doesn't recognize consent in the context of sex where any kind of assault (confinement) or injury takes place... effectively making most of BDSM illegal, regardless of whether or not you believe you have consented. Consequently, Ghomeshi has effectively admitted to breaking the law, even if it can never be proved.

I am sure this has already been pointed out and discussed before, but it makes a revelatory point to me... Ghomeshi, guilty or not, was foolish to play at BDSM with people he did not know and trust.

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RE: this is disturbing . . . take two - 11/16/2014 12:50:17 AM

BecomingV

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

It turns out, in Canada anyway, the the law doesn't recognize consent in the context of sex where any kind of assault (confinement) or injury takes place... effectively making most of BDSM illegal, regardless of whether or not you believe you have consented.

Same in America.

Is anyone aware of any place in the world in which BDSM is considered to be legal?

I don't mean non-consensual abuse which is tolerated, like footbinding or stoning or "honor" killings... I mean BDSM.

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