RE: Should Subs Approach First?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Should Subs Approach First?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Should Subs Approach First?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/2/2014 6:02:52 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

BRAVO!!!!!

Oh, what I forgot to mention. Being pursued IS the start of the foreplay. I can't very well tease a man if he thinks he must have it going on or else I wouldn't have shown an OVERT interest in him first. I like to keep them guessing. Some guys aren't into all of that, which is fine. They don't need to be with a Domme named FieryOpal either, they need to be with a different woman.

It's just my personal preference. Call me old-fashioned in that sense, it doesn't bother me. I will say this, though. A man I contacted about a completely different matter in a platonically friendly vein, not only kept throwing it in my face that I had contacted and "made the moves" on him first, but later was joking around with me and called me a derogatory name that was totally uncalled for. So maybe if you want to discover quickly how much of a feckwit a guy is, then you should initiate contact?

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 41

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/2/2014 6:02:55 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElChupa

Only the biggest 0bama sycophant would believe there isn't voter fraud from the democrats. They've been doing this for ages... we keep coming up with proof and the response from the media and democrats is "so what?" Illegals voting? You'd better damn believe it. Right now, demo/leftists all over the country are begging and lying all over the place because they know what is going to happen Tuesday. The only way out for them is cheating. And lying. It's what leftists do.

Dude, if that is your "approach letter" to Smiles, better go buy some porn cuz you won't get far with that.

Jus sayin

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to ElChupa)

Post #: 42

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/2/2014 6:17:30 AM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElChupa

Only the biggest 0bama sycophant would believe there isn't voter fraud from the democrats. They've been doing this for ages... we keep coming up with proof and the response from the media and democrats is "so what?" Illegals voting? You'd better damn believe it. Right now, demo/leftists all over the country are begging and lying all over the place because they know what is going to happen Tuesday. The only way out for them is cheating. And lying. It's what leftists do.

Dude, if that is your "approach letter" to Smiles, better go buy some porn cuz you won't get far with that.

Jus sayin

Wow....is THAT ever an understatement....

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 43

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/2/2014 6:43:18 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElChupa

Only the biggest 0bama sycophant would believe there isn't voter fraud from the democrats. They've been doing this for ages... we keep coming up with proof and the response from the media and democrats is "so what?" Illegals voting? You'd better damn believe it. Right now, demo/leftists all over the country are begging and lying all over the place because they know what is going to happen Tuesday. The only way out for them is cheating. And lying. It's what leftists do.

Dude, if that is your "approach letter" to Smiles, better go buy some porn cuz you won't get far with that.

Jus sayin

Wow....is THAT ever an understatement....

It would work for me, because I'm fucking awesome... and I'd say it in person with a just a tool belt and work boots on while holding a new door for the bathroom.

Jus sayin

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 44

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/2/2014 7:25:36 AM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElChupa

Only the biggest 0bama sycophant would believe there isn't voter fraud from the democrats. They've been doing this for ages... we keep coming up with proof and the response from the media and democrats is "so what?" Illegals voting? You'd better damn believe it. Right now, demo/leftists all over the country are begging and lying all over the place because they know what is going to happen Tuesday. The only way out for them is cheating. And lying. It's what leftists do.

Dude, if that is your "approach letter" to Smiles, better go buy some porn cuz you won't get far with that.

Jus sayin

Wow....is THAT ever an understatement....

It would work for me, because I'm fucking awesome... and I'd say it in person with a just a tool belt and work boots on while holding a new door for the bathroom.

Jus sayin

"with a just a tool belt and work boots on while holding a new door for the bathroom. "

(emphasis added....)
You obviously understand that it's not what you say, but how you say it that's really important....

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 45

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/2/2014 7:47:07 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

I could say it like Pee Wee Herman in that attire and still screw more than the door.

Jus sayin

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 46

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/2/2014 8:05:23 AM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

I could say it like Pee Wee Herman in that attire and still screw more than the door.

Jus sayin

I'm not going to touch that one....

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 47

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/2/2014 2:31:58 PM

domincalifornia

Posts: 88
Joined: 6/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Code

I appreciate all of the unsolicited advice on how to conduct myself, but I really wasn't asking for any.

Relax. It's the Internet. If you are going to come on a forum and toss out your unsolicited opinions, people will respond in any way they like. If that bothers you, you shouldn't be starting Internet threads, because you can't control who will respond or how they will respond.

quote:

I've noticed that a lot of subs tend to expect that Doms will make the first move - obviously for the "To show that he's assertive" reasoning above.

I think it's more a female-male dynamic than a dominant-submissive dynamic. By and large, women expect men to approach them, and many women -- kinky or vanilla -- don't make the first move on online boards like this. I guarantee you, women dommes on this board have no lack of male submissives approaching them. So I think your assumption about female submissives' "obvious" reasoning isn't obvious or correct.

< Message edited by domincalifornia -- 11/2/2014 2:43:39 PM >

(in reply to Code)

Post #: 48

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/2/2014 9:00:13 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

Plus I could make a case that 'experienced'

well, to be honest, by using the word 'experienced' I was not referring to how long, or how many times a person has wielded a whip or flogger...
I was more or less referring to age, and life experience in general...when talking of relationships and such.

Sorry Irish, I didn't mean that to be a reference to what you said but to the op. You repeated his use of experienced and it triggered a response from me.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 49

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/3/2014 1:58:50 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Does it really matter who approaches who? Men chase women, women chase men. Like DominCalifornia wrote, relax. Don't take any of this too seriously until it becomes serious...Don't try and make dominance a competition between your fellow dominants because that will only lead to frustration and a cringing embarrassment.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 50

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/3/2014 2:09:37 AM

maxcatt

Posts: 6
Joined: 4/2/2014
Status: offline

The way I see it it doesn't really matter. Some subs may like approaching, others may not.
I personally don't, it's just not for me and I find it really attractive when a Dom approaches me with confidence, or almost forcefully. I love the idea of just being taken. x.x

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 51

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/3/2014 10:22:10 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

(max, your last sentence reminded me of a message from a friend I just received yesterday.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: maxcatt
<snip>
I find it really attractive when a Dom[inant] approaches me with confidence, or almost forcefully. I love the idea of just being taken. x.x

DISCLAIMER: NOT A PERSONAL ENDORSEMENT

"You are a domme for fuck's sake. It is ok for you to reach out and grab any bitch up that pleases you. Some bitches like that. Some bitches like having a strong woman who feels they are a good match tell them so."

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to maxcatt)

Post #: 52

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/3/2014 6:52:32 PM

IIapetus

Posts: 41
Joined: 4/10/2014
Status: offline

I subscribe to being a person first, and a sub second. In that context, as in the rest of the wide world, I will approach, and have been approached. It's has been no different on here, or wherever else I might look for D/s expression with another.

It often comes down to discovering someone first, rather than any comment on 'starting a dynamic wrong'. In my specific case, I am committed to a special panther, who happened to open the dialogue. Had I have come across her first, rather than the other way round, I would have made the approach. Over-thinking that initial action can result in wonderful opportunity scorned. To paraphrase a novel: the past reflects eternally between two mirrors - the bright mirror of words and deeds; the dark, full of the unsaid, and the undone. Don't miss opportunity for the sake of dogma.

_____________________________

Make your own Iaps:

2 cups tigger
1 cup intellectual
1 cup athlete
4 free range eggs
Dash of nutmeg
Large splash of sarcasm
Sea salt and irreverence to taste

Combine in a large bowl, simmer over a high heat. Serve immediately.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 53

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/4/2014 8:43:58 PM

Content4Now

Posts: 11
Joined: 9/22/2014
Status: offline

quote:

I was wondering what the other side of this debate might be. Are there any good reasons why Doms should approach subs,

I made the first contact with my girl. Took me some time to convince her that I was not going away, but she eventually wore down. Two years into the relationship and I can honestly say that approaching her was the best move I ever made.

Showing interest in someone does not erase a person's personality. It's human nature to reach for what interests you. Emailing someone first shows that person that they have something that you want to explore; whether it be intellect, physical, mental, or psychological. It in no way detracts from my 'perceived domliness'.

_____________________________

David and Tara

(in reply to Code)

Post #: 54

RE: Should Subs Approach First? - 11/7/2014 3:59:54 PM

dreamysubmale

Posts: 204
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline

Opportunities in life come and go. Will you regret it if you don’t gather up the courage to approach that certain someone?

The biggest regrets I have are not the things I've done but the things I could have but did not do.

It doesn't matter if you are a sub or a slave, a domly dome, a dome, adomme, a master, a mistress..we’re human most and foremost, with basic human emotional needs. We experience fear, love, anger, joy, uncertainties, hopes, sadness, happiness, we dream. Our emotions help us to go through our day and help us communicate what we feel towards others.

So why being a “domly dom” a mistress, a slave, a master a domme, a submissive or an astronaut for that matter be any “different” in communicating our feelings and what we feel towards others?

Don’t sit idly by and let events around you unfold, because some protocol says a dome/me or sub needs to behave in a certain way when it comes to courting.

_____________________________

Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses... Democritus

(in reply to Content4Now)

Post #: 55

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Should Subs Approach First?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094