BecomingV -> RE: Asexuality (11/5/2014 9:59:06 PM)
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ORIGINAL: starkem demisexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender Demisexuals are not choosing to abstain; they simply lack sexual attraction until a close relationship is formed. Though factors such as looks and personality do not affect primary sexual attraction for demisexuals/b], I also had to put in some effort to understand your OP, but thanks for posting. :) I've never heard the term before, but that does describe me. I've wondered over the years why the men I feel chemistry with don't look like commercial versions of sexy. I can appreciate the beauty of virtually everyone. But, I walk around and don't even notice that men are looking at me, and they do, according to those I am with who do notice. LOL I just figured I was "different." I have no moral objection to picking up a stranger for sex and in my youth, I deliberately did just that to see if it was for me. It wasn't. Kind of boring and forgettable. Which is not to say that the sex was bad... just...didn't "reach" me. During an almost 9 year relationship, we were in a constant state of chemical connection, we had so much sex it was like it never really stopped. Outsiders may have wondered how we ever had time for anything else! But, when not in a relationship, I literally walk around and it's like men are invisible to me as potential mates. This isn't a love thing or any kind of traditional value or adherence to social limitations on female sexuality. It's just like the switch is turned off, towards others. Or, like wearing blinders, but not because I've chosen to... it just happens. Because of the highly sexual nature of my relationships, I'm wondering how I could fit under a label that is connected to asexuality. Got any wisdom on that? Does it mean the term does not fit me? I do think that this way of being has enhanced my ability to form and maintain platonic friendships with men over the course of many decades. Their wives/partners feel perfectly secure about their friendships, with me. Just an observation. :)
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