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In conversation are there any cues a girl will give to ... - 11/13/2014 5:23:14 PM   
huntslave724


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/25/2013
Status: offline 		Hi I am currently am in college, and want to finally give in to my submissiveness. I have been wanting to find that open kinky minded someone who wants to dominate. The problem is I don't really know how to casually express that to girls in conversation. The result is me not displaying this side of me from fear of reputation consequences that could happen within my social circle and to not sound creepy. Usually when in bed I'll always give oral and eventually have her play with my butt in hopes of the girl realizing that I am trying to take a submissive role but so far none have taken the dominant role. I was wondering: if there are any cues that when in conversation a sexually dominant girl will give to hint that they are interested in submissive guy's so I would not be as afraid showing this submissive side; or if trial and error in bed is hopping to find the one who gets really excited by it is the better option. Also what are some ways I can show my interest in wanting to be dominated without coming off too strong about the subject. I am new to this so any push in the right direction would be helpful.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/13/2014 5:32:39 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: huntslave724

Hi I am currently am in college, and want to finally give in to my submissiveness. I have been wanting to find that open kinky minded someone who wants to dominate. The problem is I don't really know how to casually express that to girls in conversation. The result is me not displaying this side of me from fear of reputation consequences that could happen within my social circle and to not sound creepy. Usually when in bed I'll always give oral and eventually have her play with my butt in hopes of the girl realizing that I am trying to take a submissive role but so far none have taken the dominant role. I was wondering: if there are any cues that when in conversation a sexually dominant girl will give to hint that they are interested in submissive guy's so I would not be as afraid showing this submissive side; or if trial and error in bed is hopping to find the one who gets really excited by it is the better option. Also what are some ways I can show my interest in wanting to be dominated without coming off too strong about the subject. I am new to this so any push in the right direction would be helpful.


Welcome to the forums.

A good cue is if she grabs you by the throat, slams you against the wall, drives her knee into your crotch, whips out handcuffs and a ball gag and has you immobilized within seconds. She is either dominant, in law enforcement or is a serial killer.

All kidding aside, there are no cues for this nor are there road maps to follow. When someone is dominant, you just know because everything about them just speaks to their personality. Whether that translates to the bedroom or not is another thing entirely.

Get thee to a local BDSM function or munch. Meet people, learn.



_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to huntslave724)
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RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/13/2014 5:33:38 PM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline 		Rather than trying to figure it out in the general population, why not find and join some local groups? You'll get to know people, make friends that understand you, and may even find a partner.

AND, you'll learn the signs that might lead you to someone in school with you.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to huntslave724)
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RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/13/2014 5:52:28 PM   
huntslave724


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/25/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you for the responses. I would like to find munches and local groups but the issues with that so far has been that there are barley any in the state I go to school, and in the ones that exist are pretty fare away and I have no car

(in reply to NookieNotes)
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RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/13/2014 6:43:43 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		In conversation, simply say, "I like when a woman takes control in the bedroom." See what happens.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to huntslave724)
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RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/14/2014 12:57:43 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

A good cue is if she grabs you by the throat, slams you against the wall, drives her knee into your crotch, whips out handcuffs and a ball gag and has you immobilized within seconds. She is either dominant, in law enforcement or is a serial killer.
<snip>

Hey, you forgot the hair-pulling (or head-grabbing, whichever the case may be, but not while directing into a squad car). That's the dividing line, as to whether she's a FemDom. Honorable mention for a bitch slap or two.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

In conversation, simply say, "I like when a woman takes control in the bedroom." See what happens.

At the right time in the conversation, after doing some flirting, that's a good way to drop a hint. I don't know how 19-year-old college girls your age are nowadays, but for us older women, don't lead with sextalk. Wait for the woman to take the lead in steering the conversation toward any provocative subject matters.
In other words, don't use this as your pick-up line. Get to know a girl first as a person, get a feel for whether you are being friend-zoned right off the bat so that you don't come off as being a creepy perv. Or pervy creep. Take your pick.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/14/2014 2:40:47 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

In conversation, simply say, "I like when a woman takes control in the bedroom." See what happens.

At the right time in the conversation, after doing some flirting, that's a good way to drop a hint. I don't know how 19-year-old college girls your age are nowadays, but for us older women, don't lead with sextalk. Wait for the woman to take the lead in steering the conversation toward any provocative subject matters.
In other words, don't use this as your pick-up line. Get to know a girl first as a person, get a feel for whether you are being friend-zoned right off the bat so that you don't come off as being a creepy perv. Or pervy creep. Take your pick.


Oops. Good point. Always start off checking vanilla compatibility. Not only is it polite, but it saves the hassles of dealing with nutcases that should have been screened out in vanilla conversation.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/14/2014 6:27:40 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Try talking to them. Seriously, you should not be tarred and feathered for saying over coffee "I prefer not to be the leader sexually. I like a woman who takes control".

Beyond that, if you can't talk to someone about what you both like and dislike, then you shouldn't be having sex with them.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/14/2014 8:00:36 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Oops. Good point. Always start off checking vanilla compatibility. Not only is it polite, but it saves the hassles of dealing with nutcases that should have been screened out in vanilla conversation.

Good rule of thumb, but who knows how these 20-somethings go about hooking up these days. I have a 30-year-old and a teenager, so there's a gap there. With both of them, though, I get the impression that these younger people just hang out. The college girls at my mom's church used to come onto my sons by handing out their gamer tags and inviting them to play mass multiplayer video games on line with them. Yes, my then 15 to 16-year-old son, who's rather introvertedly quiet, was getting hit on by 20-year-old girls, but he had and has a lot going for him, if I do say so myself.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/14/2014 1:59:32 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: huntslave724

Hi I am currently am in college, and want to finally give in to my submissiveness. I have been wanting to find that open kinky minded someone who wants to dominate. The problem is I don't really know how to casually express that to girls in conversation. The result is me not displaying this side of me from fear of reputation consequences that could happen within my social circle and to not sound creepy. Usually when in bed I'll always give oral and eventually have her play with my butt in hopes of the girl realizing that I am trying to take a submissive role but so far none have taken the dominant role. I was wondering: if there are any cues that when in conversation a sexually dominant girl will give to hint that they are interested in submissive guy's so I would not be as afraid showing this submissive side; or if trial and error in bed is hopping to find the one who gets really excited by it is the better option. Also what are some ways I can show my interest in wanting to be dominated without coming off too strong about the subject. I am new to this so any push in the right direction would be helpful.


Here's the dealio....

When I was your age, I was eating (various chemicals) as if they were candy but....in a bar, I'd look to my left, then my right, certain someone (a cop) was watching me and then I'd carefully absorb my handful, having a great night in front of me being (chemically) stoooopit.

Now, at 56, if I wanna take a pill (or 4) I just take them.

No one gives a shit.

Turns out...no one ever did.

You're focused on the wrong things bub...you're trying to score.

Be you.

Harvests requires seeds. Tilling.

And seeds NEVER (ever) respond to someone saying "GROW DAMMIT!!!!!"

I know that sounds easy but, you're so caught up in the "what do I do to impress her....because she's a Domme?" shit that you're befuddled, all you need to worry about is...how to impress any girl...be you....be nice...flowers....chairs pulled out....doors opened....

She's a girl.

She likes what girls like....chairs pulled out...kindness....sincerity.....(real sincerity by the way....shit you can't fake....don't be trying to get some pussy {by the way....they have fucking radar....it's actually not very good radar....often they're sitting there looking at you thinking "is he really just trying to get some pussy?" but rest assured....even if their radar is weak....their radar is LIGHT years better than any scam you've got}....try to build a relationship....a sincere one).

Gawdamn....as men, we are so focused on getting the damn job done we miss the entire mark. (How the fuck did it take me 56 years to figure that one out?).

I know it sounds trite but....skip the "I want" and figure out how to do the "what can I do for...?"

They're just people bub....cept they have tits.

Other than that (and that they have tits), they're just like you and me (and.....well.....they have tits).

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 11/14/2014 2:48:58 PM >

(in reply to huntslave724)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/14/2014 5:09:13 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

Here's the dealio....

When I was your age, I was eating (various chemicals) as if they were candy but....in a bar, I'd look to my left, then my right, certain someone (a cop) was watching me and then I'd carefully absorb my handful, having a great night in front of me being (chemically) stoooopit.

Now, at 56, if I wanna take a pill (or 4) I just take them.

No one gives a shit.

Turns out...no one ever did.

You're focused on the wrong things bub...you're trying to score.

Be you.

Harvests requires seeds. Tilling.

And seeds NEVER (ever) respond to someone saying "GROW DAMMIT!!!!!"

I know that sounds easy but, you're so caught up in the "what do I do to impress her....because she's a Domme?" shit that you're befuddled, all you need to worry about is...how to impress any girl...be you....be nice...flowers....chairs pulled out....doors opened....

She's a girl.

She likes what girls like....chairs pulled out...kindness....sincerity.....(real sincerity by the way....shit you can't fake....don't be trying to get some pussy {by the way....they have fucking radar....it's actually not very good radar....often they're sitting there looking at you thinking "is he really just trying to get some pussy?" but rest assured....even if their radar is weak....their radar is LIGHT years better than any scam you've got}....try to build a relationship....a sincere one).

Gawdamn....as men, we are so focused on getting the damn job done we miss the entire mark. (How the fuck did it take me 56 years to figure that one out?).

I know it sounds trite but....skip the "I want" and figure out how to do the "what can I do for...?"

They're just people bub....cept they have tits.

Other than that (and that they have tits), they're just like you and me (and.....well.....they have tits).

Lookie, you were doing fabulously until the end there where you started fixating on tits!

But let me add on here...not that you would overlook it, but an elderly lady neighbor who used to crack me up would call us gals split-tailed molls.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/14/2014 7:44:42 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		OP, this is a toughie. Girls drop clues all the time. When you connect with someone, there is a bit of an "ah hah" moment. Use that as your compass and just be a good listener and observer. If you care enough to learn about her, you will.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/14/2014 8:42:11 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

Here's the dealio....

When I was your age, I was eating (various chemicals) as if they were candy but....in a bar, I'd look to my left, then my right, certain someone (a cop) was watching me and then I'd carefully absorb my handful, having a great night in front of me being (chemically) stoooopit.

Now, at 56, if I wanna take a pill (or 4) I just take them.

No one gives a shit.

Turns out...no one ever did.

You're focused on the wrong things bub...you're trying to score.

Be you.

Harvests requires seeds. Tilling.

And seeds NEVER (ever) respond to someone saying "GROW DAMMIT!!!!!"

I know that sounds easy but, you're so caught up in the "what do I do to impress her....because she's a Domme?" shit that you're befuddled, all you need to worry about is...how to impress any girl...be you....be nice...flowers....chairs pulled out....doors opened....

She's a girl.

She likes what girls like....chairs pulled out...kindness....sincerity.....(real sincerity by the way....shit you can't fake....don't be trying to get some pussy {by the way....they have fucking radar....it's actually not very good radar....often they're sitting there looking at you thinking "is he really just trying to get some pussy?" but rest assured....even if their radar is weak....their radar is LIGHT years better than any scam you've got}....try to build a relationship....a sincere one).

Gawdamn....as men, we are so focused on getting the damn job done we miss the entire mark. (How the fuck did it take me 56 years to figure that one out?).

I know it sounds trite but....skip the "I want" and figure out how to do the "what can I do for...?"

They're just people bub....cept they have tits.

Other than that (and that they have tits), they're just like you and me (and.....well.....they have tits).

Lookie, you were doing fabulously until the end there where you started fixating on tits!

But let me add on here...not that you would overlook it, but an elderly lady neighbor who used to crack me up would call us gals split-tailed molls.


Yeah but...the tits thing......wins.

(I ain't stoooooopit)).

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: In conversation are there any cues a girl will give... - 11/14/2014 11:30:13 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Casual conversation. Look for innuendo -- so make sure you leave open ended remarks.

When a guy compliments my boots (I wear them a lot) I say, "Thanks. They go great with my whips and chains."

I say things like, "Sounds great. You're a guy that follows instructions. I like that."

When I flirt, I flirt aggressively. Direct eye contact. No wishy washy lines. I show my intent. I make my interest known. I would initiate first kisses. First "everythings." Good first question phone calls. "Have you ever been tied up?"

Pretty clear I was kinky.

I liked to frisk guys on first dates. You know. Checking for concealed weapons. Of course. Kicking ankles apart. Pushed over the hood of a car.

There was no doubt I liked all this kind of thing.

Point? Frisky, kinky girls often are not shy. So if you are looking for them "in the wild" the trick is -- meet lots of women, and don't be shy. Talk to them so you see their personalities. Do not overlook geeky girls, gamer girls -- for younger girls, these are women that are in groups mixed in with guys. Another group are goth girls or alternative dance girls - go to clubs where these girls hang out to dance and listen to bands. But don't be creepy poseur dude standing in the corner alone staring. And don't start conversations about your fetish, or asking HER about your fetish. Talk about her hobbies, and NEVER bring you fetish or ANY fetish up until she does. It will come up if she is into it.

If you are not patient enough, you are not cut out for finding kinky women in the wild.

Speaking of patient, I type this out in a mcdonalds with my friends screaming at me.


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to huntslave724)
Profile   Post #: 14
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