Doesn't a switch know the best toys (from both perspectives)?

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Doesn't a switch know the best toys (from both perspect... - 11/14/2014 10:39:57 AM

crumpets

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What have you personally learned having used D/s toys from both perspectives?

For example, as a submissive, the favorite toy should be whatever toy SHE likes me to use or that she likes to use on her, but, that might not be the most comfortable toy for me.

For example, I don't own a face dildo yet, so, when subbing recently, I was given a short stock face dildo, which required my front teeth to grasp the hilt of the part that goes inside my mouth. I'm sure the part that goes outside, which was what she benefited from, was fine (judging from the effect), but having to grasp the hilt with my teeth was difficult, at best (as there was no strap).

I only learned this being on the giving side, while on the recipient side, no knowledge of this was apparently part of the buying equation.

So, I ask, given that I would assume a switch knows toys from both ends, what knowledge you've learned that you can impart on the rest of us, regarding both sides of your respective toys?

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RE: Doesn't a switch know the best toys (from both pers... - 11/14/2014 2:30:39 PM

GoddessManko

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Ha, depends on the biological equipment, no? Male or Female?

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RE: Doesn't a switch know the best toys (from both pers... - 11/14/2014 6:19:04 PM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

For example, I don't own a face dildo yet, so, when subbing recently, I was given a short stock face dildo, which required my front teeth to grasp the hilt of the part that goes inside my mouth. I'm sure the part that goes outside, which was what she benefited from, was fine (judging from the effect), but having to grasp the hilt with my teeth was difficult, at best (as there was no strap).

Not a S/switch, and not to change the subject, but that's just <excuse me>

nasty using someone else's gear. All the ones I've seen have straps, so this was your Domme's older model. Something like that, you get for your own exclusive use. You wouldn't (re-)use a dildo, vibrator or buttplugs that another sub has used, would you? Would you? I prefer my own selection, so I always purchase brand new fetish gear, etc. with a new sub. If your Domme has multiple subs, have her approve of your toybag, or send her links of on-line items for her to select for you or approve of, that you mutually consent to. Once when I had a sub under consideration, we went to the sex shop together and made our selections.

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RE: Doesn't a switch know the best toys (from both pers... - 11/14/2014 9:56:24 PM

crumpets

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
that's just <excuse me> nasty using someone else's gear.

It never occurred to me to ask, but, from what you said, whose gear do people generally use when a Dominant has more than one submissive?

For example, whose gear do the pros use?

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
I always purchase brand new fetish gear, etc. with a new sub.

I wasn't expecting that answer but it makes sense.

Here's the face dildo type I'm considering.

Attachment (1)

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RE: Doesn't a switch know the best toys (from both pers... - 11/15/2014 5:42:59 AM

NookieNotes

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Regarding using gear on more than one, here are a few thoughts.

1. Non-porous materials can be shared, if they are properly cleaned. IE: Glass, rubber, stainless steel, silicone, some plastics (usually not "softened" plastics like "realskin"), etc. I mention these because they are 100% boil safe, steam safe, dishwasher safe, and bleach safe.

EXAMPLES:
http://bad-dragon.com/
http://www.amazon.com/USA-Njoy-Pure-Wand/dp/B00FZNMWPS
https://www.etsy.com/market/glass_dildo
http://www.aslanleather.com/slick_g

2. Porous materials (leather, cloth [some cloth can be boiled - 100% cotton or linen], wood) can be shared when protected with non-porous materials. IE: an insertable you are not sure of, covered by a condom.

EXAMPLES, BOILABLE:
http://www.velvetnest.com/

EXAMPLES, ONE PERSON ONLY (once skin is broken or saliva contact is made):
http://www.flogmebaby.com/floggers.html
http://www.edenfantasys.com/annie-o/adult-toys-dvds-19412

3. Do NOT share porous insertables once they have been used and exposed to saliva, ejaculate, blood, excretion, etc.

4. If a dominant has more than one sub (which I have been known to do), I use the sub's toy collection. My subs have their own (or build it), and buy me toys (to my specifications, so I choose those I can care for and restrict to one as necessary). I also have my own that I protect and care for. I share how I do this with my subs, when it is needed, so they can choose to use or not use what I offer.

My point is this, YES, it can sound icky, the sharing of toys, when you think about it on the surface. And YES, it can be very icky, if you don't understand safety measures. When to, when not to.

Here are things to think about:

A. Cotton sheets in hospitals are boiled and reused between patients. SAFE.

B. So are many stainless steel medical implements.

C. So are the dominant's hands, minus the boiling part. LOL!

So, I hope that helps you determine how to handle your own decision-making process.

And as far as switches knowing both sides of toys, well, that depends on their interest level in those toys, the activity, and whether they have had experience. I switch with a few trusted playmates in play. But I would never have experience with a gag like you are showing, since it is really NOT my thing. Period. Ever. Uh uh. NOOOOO.

So, I might make the same mistake.

Also, what works for me and my physicality may NOT work for you, anyway, even if I did like it. My mouth may be larger, or wider, or something, making that comfortable for me and not for you.

*smiles*

I would say that while you can take recommendations, what works for you will generally be unique, and you'll learn as you go.

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RE: Doesn't a switch know the best toys (from both pers... - 11/19/2014 9:12:18 PM

DesFIP

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To answer the question, not necessarily. Let's say you love sting so you're knowledgeable on canes and evil sticks and bungee cord floggers. But you hate thud so you don't know which hairbrush is more thuddy and whether or not a bath brush would be too thuddy and leave too deep bruises. If the other switch you play with hates sting and loves thud, then your experience would not be germane.

Hell, some people love impact play and hate electrical play. And others are the opposite. So your knowledge of violet wands and cattle prods isn't going to help you be more aware of paddles and crops and the difference between them.

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RE: Doesn't a switch know the best toys (from both pers... - 12/30/2014 7:35:48 PM

Kelaina

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I think this really depends on the kind of switch you are, as DesFIP said. For instance, my collection of "toys" is just household items, because that's what works best for us (minus things like dildos and vibrators). I could definitely tell you how a steel ramrod feels, both to swing and on impact, but I couldn't tell you about a cane.

I wouldn't assume all switches everywhere know about all toys everywhere. Some of us don't use toys, some are into hardcore pain, some are into mild pain, some are into orgasm denial, bloodplay, medical play, ageplay...the list goes on.

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RE: Doesn't a switch know the best toys (from both pers... - 1/3/2015 2:17:37 AM

sheisreeds

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Some things I like to give I don't like to receive, and the reverse is true as well.

Canes and other impact related toys I know both sides of quite well.

With fire I only have interest in topping, and mostly experience in topping.

So just because you're a switch doesn't mean you know both sides of everything.

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RE: Doesn't a switch know the best toys (from both pers... - 1/4/2015 2:12:42 PM

preytolife

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Some people like toys are how impressive or how intimidating they look but in practice that doesn't always work. As I top I know that even if implements do cause pain the bottom is going to prefer certain types of pain, and they scene is just as much about them as it is for me. A scene is not about stroking my own ego.

Bottoming for floggers really taught me a lot and I gained good appreciation of people that know how to use them, different forms and gaining a rhythm. Because I know what I like as a bottom I've gone out of my way to make sure I know my impact play.

Over time I've also had to gain an appreciate for varied tastes for all kinds of toys. I have preferences but just because I think something is easy and low-risk to use doesn't mean it's not going to scare the ever loving fuck out of a bottom. It's been hard reconciling what/who counts as "hard" and "soft" when it comes to pain tolerances especially, so I usually err on the side of caution. It doesn't always translate but I has given me a greater sense of awareness.

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RE: Doesn't a switch know the best toys (from both pers... - 1/16/2015 11:04:46 PM

seekingreality

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

So, I ask, given that I would assume a switch knows toys from both ends, what knowledge you've learned that you can impart on the rest of us, regarding both sides of your respective toys?

I've switched, but I don't think that gives me any super secret knowledge. I mean, I can describe what it feels like to be hit with a riding crop, and to hit someone with a crop, but I don't have any unique insights that come from adding the two together.

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