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RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/17/2014 6:13:17 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Not a poll, but in the name of random stupidity, there is currently a thread which demands "Is that too much to ask for?" a "dominating woman to pin me down and lick/spit all over my face while berating me."

What thread is that and is he attractive?


quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
This, without even asking us out to dinner and a movie. How cheap do these guys think we are?

I find it rather confusing how around here we're assured getting laid involves monetary transactions. It just bares no resemblance to my personal experiences.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/17/2014 6:30:36 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Not a poll, but in the name of random stupidity, there is currently a thread which demands "Is that too much to ask for?" a "dominating woman to pin me down and lick/spit all over my face while berating me."

What thread is that and is he attractive?


quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
This, without even asking us out to dinner and a movie. How cheap do these guys think we are?

I find it rather confusing how around here we're assured getting laid involves monetary transactions. It just bares no resemblance to my personal experiences.


^^ really mine either.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/17/2014 6:38:15 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Not a poll, but in the name of random stupidity, there is currently a thread which demands "Is that too much to ask for?" a "dominating woman to pin me down and lick/spit all over my face while berating me."
What thread is that and is he attractive?

I have no idea whether he's the least bit attractive. Don't care either. There's a lot more to attractiveness than looks. Check under "All I desire" because apparently all he desires is to have his fetish-kink gratified.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

This, without even asking us out to dinner and a movie. How cheap do these guys think we are?
I find it rather confusing how around here we're assured getting laid involves monetary transactions. It just bares no resemblance to my personal experiences.

I got this from an on-line kinkster friend of mine, who recently told me in jest that he's not cheap and requires dinner and a movie before he'll put out. (Not that I wanted him to!)
Yanno GS, it isn't so much about monetary transactions as it is about wanting something for nothing. Unless you are a person who has low to no self-esteem, you don't gravitate to those types of individuals. Also, what makes you think that you should ever be "assured [of] getting laid" or a facsimile thereof, by anybody less than a steady gf/bf? Even with a fuckbuddy and/or play partner, there is no blanket assurance for sex on demand or impromptu availability (or with your non-D/s SO either).

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/17/2014 7:09:17 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Considering he didn't seem to know to go to a pro domme, I also believe he's still wet behind the ears.
Which may not be the best metaphor when you think of what he wants.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/17/2014 7:17:32 PM   
PandoraFoxxx


Posts: 182
Joined: 1/3/2011
From: San Mateo, CA
Status: offline
Did someone say klondike bar? Ice cream? Wut.

<<<<< whore for ice cream.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/17/2014 7:27:11 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PandoraFoxxx

Did someone say klondike bar? Ice cream? Wut.

<<<<< whore for ice cream.




I did not expect that from you... I expected about 37 Volumes of "do nots" considering the amount of HNG spunk you most likely receive.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to PandoraFoxxx)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 5:08:55 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
Just in case anyone needs this in the future:)





Attachment (1)

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\(•_•)
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(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 9:28:13 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Check under "All I desire" because apparently all he desires is to have his fetish-kink gratified.

Ok, what's wrong with that? Sounds the same as a vanilla hookup to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
I have no idea whether he's the least bit attractive. Don't care either. There's a lot more to attractiveness than looks.

Sure, but it's a pretty important component, as this helpful video on how to avoid sexual harassment explains: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f76_1323277426&comments=1

1. Be Handsome
2. Be Attractive
3. Don't Be Unattractive

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
I got this from an on-line kinkster friend of mine, who recently told me in jest that he's not cheap and requires dinner and a movie before he'll put out. (Not that I wanted him to!)

There it is with the monitary transactions again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Yanno GS, it isn't so much about monetary transactions as it is about wanting something for nothing.

I don't think it's about getting stuff these days, it's about having fun.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Unless you are a person who has low to no self-esteem, you don't gravitate to those types of individuals.

Good job belittling most people in the younger generations.

Thing is dating is on the endangered species list, it's been largely replaced by hooking up: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105008712

The dinner and a movie date that you're advocating for is seen as antiquated by a lot of women:

quote:

ORIGINAL: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105008712
"Going out on a date is a sort of ironic, obsolete type of thing," says 25-year-old Elizabeth Welsh, who graduated from college in 2005 and now lives in Boston. She says that among her friends, dating is a joke. "Going out on a date to dinner and a movie? It's so cliche — isn't that funny?"


At The Society there's a white board to write down impromptu scenes you want to participate in and it's not as though it just gets used by gay guys. I've noticed that while just about anything sexual is "too much to ask" around here, in the larger kinky community it's a very different story.


(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 9:49:51 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Last I checked, the majority of vanilla dating sites are populated by younger men and older women.* Younger people can do all the *hooking up* that they like, but that's not how the majority of older women, or those women seeking relationships, roll.

This might not be relevant to you personally, since you are a Dom in his mid-30s.

Furthermore, this hooking up for NSA sex approach strikes out for dudes on vanilla sites also (many of whom are on CS as well--I recognize many of the same photos).

Your timeless advice for guys to act like they're just looking to get their freak on is really good for kinky dudes who want to remain celibate or stay locked up in self-chastity.

* RedMagic1 had a link on this within the past month but I can't find it now.
http://christiehartman.com/some-interesting-statistics-on-online-dating/
http://www.datingsitesreviews.com/staticpages/index.php?page=Online-Dating-Industry-Facts-Statistics

Notice here it says that men are twice more likely to lie in their profiles as women are:
http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/dating-marriage/online-dating-profile-lies

ETA: Here it is: http://www.quora.com/What-is-the-male-female-ratio-on-big-five-dating-websites-Match-com-eHarmony-PlentyofFish-Zoosk-and-OKCupid

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 11/18/2014 10:13:02 AM >


_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 4:46:45 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
Well I don't know about THOSE 25 year olds- but I only put out after the second date if I were serious about someone

I did plenty of hooking up- but now, at 26- honestly- not what I would if I were to become single now.*
ETA- *with some exceptions


< Message edited by shiftyw -- 11/18/2014 4:47:17 PM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 5:05:04 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

FR

In fairness to the OP of that thread, he was willing to go to a professional and pay for that experience. He made no mention of trying to get any of the pretty Dommes in his area (or online) to fulfill his fantasy for free. He had an itch that wanted scratched and didn't know how to go about it. His problem wasn't that he was greedy, it's that he was inexperienced

Granted there are plenty of guys on the site and the local scenes who think that they can get any Domme to do anything for him and Dommes are secretly dying to fulfill whatever abusive kink they can dream up. But I didn't get the vibe from that guy. He's just a noob.

LTRs are great, but it's not always what people are looking for. There's nothing wrong with seeking a temporary thrill and at least this guy was honest about it.

On topic: Yes, it's too much to ask that I join your newly opened marriage because I'm bi and non-monogamous. Because of course I'll be equal in importance to the mother of your children and I won't be pushed back to threesome-only territory once she gets scared of anything more than freaky bi-monthly sex.


Ha! If only that were the case. I get too many of the "I have been in the lifestyle 25 years". Me; "yet you are uncollared?" alleged sub; "well yes, I have never met a "true Domme" (which of course as we know is harder than finding the holy grail.) Me; "well that's unfortunate, perhaps you should take your search offline."
What he should have said is "i have had a relationship with my computer, You should have seen how huge it was, and paid for cheap thrills here and there for 25 years, thank goodness for the creation of wifi. Before that i would have to shove stockings in my mouth and slap my own balls, audience of ONE."
Just wankers placing labels on themselves and thinking for some reason we would find their ideas of a good time "charming". Age and so called "experience" have nothing to do with it. Though sometimes, it REALLY IS a matter of experience. Depends on if they are eyeball deep in femdom porn and no real life experience.
And LOL Fiery!

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 11/18/2014 5:20:51 PM >


_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 5:25:36 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

FR

In fairness to the OP of that thread, he was willing to go to a professional and pay for that experience. He made no mention of trying to get any of the pretty Dommes in his area (or online) to fulfill his fantasy for free. He had an itch that wanted scratched and didn't know how to go about it. His problem wasn't that he was greedy, it's that he was inexperienced

Granted there are plenty of guys on the site and the local scenes who think that they can get any Domme to do anything for him and Dommes are secretly dying to fulfill whatever abusive kink they can dream up. But I didn't get the vibe from that guy. He's just a noob.

LTRs are great, but it's not always what people are looking for. There's nothing wrong with seeking a temporary thrill and at least this guy was honest about it.

On topic: Yes, it's too much to ask that I join your newly opened marriage because I'm bi and non-monogamous. Because of course I'll be equal in importance to the mother of your children and I won't be pushed back to threesome-only territory once she gets scared of anything more than freaky bi-monthly sex.


Ha! If only that were the case. I get too many of the "I have been in the lifestyle 25 years". Me; "yet you are uncollared?" alleged sub; "well yes, I have never met a "true Domme" (which of course as we know is harder than finding the holy grail.) Me; "well that's unfortunate, perhaps you should take your search offline."
What he should have said is "i have had a relationship with my computer, You should have seen how huge it was, and paid for cheap thrills here and there for 25 years, thank goodness for the creation of wifi. Before that i would have to shove stockings in my mouth and slap my own balls, audience of ONE."
Just wankers placing labels on themselves and thinking for some reason we would find their ideas of a good time "charming". Age and so called "experience" have nothing to do with it. Though sometimes, it REALLY IS a matter of experience. Depends on if they are eyeball deep in femdom porn and no real life experience.
And LOL Fiery!

A true Domme is a woman who will indulge your fetish without question or hope for reciprocation of some sort. Everyone knows that.

A true sub has the same definition. The difference is in how abusive your fetish is.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 5:45:48 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

A true Domme is a woman who will indulge your fetish without question or hope for reciprocation of some sort. Everyone knows that.

A true sub has the same definition. The difference is in how abusive your fetish is.

I guess I don't quite understand how this pertains to the matter at hand. What woman who doesn't know any man from Adam is obliged to even acknowledge an intrusive message from him containing an inappropriate request, on line or not? (I know that's not how you meant it, but there are some who might infer differently.)

This loops back around to the age-old dilemma of men assuming that what they want is the same thing that women want, or that thinking with their d!cks is our default modus operandi as well. We are not the same. If we were the same, then there wouldn't be any point for there to be two separate genders; we could have simply started out or evolved into unisexual beings.

If by indulge you are implying a reward, then such rewards are reserved for one's own sub, not just any random kinky bottom. A reward is merited for good conduct or for staying the course, so it would not entail reciprocation necessarily in terms of having no additional string(s) attached. That, of course, is up to each individual Dominant and how s/he conducts her/his affairs with her/his submissive.

Making oddball requests as if total strangers owe you their time and consideration shows lack-of-healthy boundary issues. Not the best way to put one's foot forward or to make anything other than a piss-poor impression on others.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 5:51:57 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

FR

In fairness to the OP of that thread, he was willing to go to a professional and pay for that experience. He made no mention of trying to get any of the pretty Dommes in his area (or online) to fulfill his fantasy for free. He had an itch that wanted scratched and didn't know how to go about it. His problem wasn't that he was greedy, it's that he was inexperienced

Granted there are plenty of guys on the site and the local scenes who think that they can get any Domme to do anything for him and Dommes are secretly dying to fulfill whatever abusive kink they can dream up. But I didn't get the vibe from that guy. He's just a noob.

LTRs are great, but it's not always what people are looking for. There's nothing wrong with seeking a temporary thrill and at least this guy was honest about it.

On topic: Yes, it's too much to ask that I join your newly opened marriage because I'm bi and non-monogamous. Because of course I'll be equal in importance to the mother of your children and I won't be pushed back to threesome-only territory once she gets scared of anything more than freaky bi-monthly sex.


Ha! If only that were the case. I get too many of the "I have been in the lifestyle 25 years". Me; "yet you are uncollared?" alleged sub; "well yes, I have never met a "true Domme" (which of course as we know is harder than finding the holy grail.) Me; "well that's unfortunate, perhaps you should take your search offline."
What he should have said is "i have had a relationship with my computer, You should have seen how huge it was, and paid for cheap thrills here and there for 25 years, thank goodness for the creation of wifi. Before that i would have to shove stockings in my mouth and slap my own balls, audience of ONE."
Just wankers placing labels on themselves and thinking for some reason we would find their ideas of a good time "charming". Age and so called "experience" have nothing to do with it. Though sometimes, it REALLY IS a matter of experience. Depends on if they are eyeball deep in femdom porn and no real life experience.
And LOL Fiery!

A true Domme is a woman who will indulge your fetish without question or hope for reciprocation of some sort. Everyone knows that.

A true sub has the same definition. The difference is in how abusive your fetish is.


Ha, oh really? Shit, I'm one selfish bitch then because I really much prefer indulging in MY kink. Submission is just what it is, to submit, otherwise it's kinkplay which is fine too. But I tend to make the rules, not my boys. One didn't even have sex with his gf on her birthday because he was 40 days into chastity. Ah, the carefree days of playmates, they're so easy to find and unfortunately too easy, now even they bore me.
In all fairness though, I tell my boys to outline their hard limits very clearly because everything else is free game. If I don't have the element of surprise I'll get bored out of my mind, so serious. I also have them tell me their pain tolerance, for different things. Sometimes I call out kinks they may or may not know just in case.
But if I really love a sub as much as my ex-collared, then I indulge and indulge to my heart's desire and his expressions as they change, OH YES! JUST LIKE SEX. LOVE IT.
I SO, SO hate when someone is faking it when I'm just testing them, it's like faking an orgasm, it's unsexy and the wounded animal look is a total turn off. Just a difference of perspective.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 11/18/2014 6:14:11 PM >


_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 5:57:02 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

A true Domme is a woman who will indulge your fetish without question or hope for reciprocation of some sort. Everyone knows that.

In sub's men's dreams! LMAO!

Infact, I'd love to evilly tell clueless sub men that, and watch the show.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 6:11:20 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

A true Domme is a woman who will indulge your fetish without question or hope for reciprocation of some sort. Everyone knows that.

In sub's men's dreams! LMAO!

Infact, I'd love to evilly tell clueless sub men that, and watch the show.

I take it back, Greta, what I said the other day about making a fine S/switch, although you certainly have potential. You're more of a Sadistic sub!

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 6:35:56 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

A true Domme is a woman who will indulge your fetish without question or hope for reciprocation of some sort. Everyone knows that.

A true sub has the same definition. The difference is in how abusive your fetish is.

I guess I don't quite understand how this pertains to the matter at hand. What woman who doesn't know any man from Adam is obliged to even acknowledge an intrusive message from him containing an inappropriate request, on line or not? (I know that's not how you meant it, but there are some who might infer differently.)

This loops back around to the age-old dilemma of men assuming that what they want is the same thing that women want, or that thinking with their d!cks is our default modus operandi as well. We are not the same. If we were the same, then there wouldn't be any point for there to be two separate genders; we could have simply started out or evolved into unisexual beings.

If by indulge you are implying a reward, then such rewards are reserved for one's own sub, not just any random kinky bottom. A reward is merited for good conduct or for staying the course, so it would not entail reciprocation necessarily in terms of having no additional string(s) attached. That, of course, is up to each individual Dominant and how s/he conducts her/his affairs with her/his submissive.

Making oddball requests as if total strangers owe you their time and consideration shows lack-of-healthy boundary issues. Not the best way to put one's foot forward or to make anything other than a piss-poor impression on others.

Admittedly, it wasn't. It was a response to Manko's comment about true Dommes.

I was hoping the sarcasm would show through in my post, but I must not be as good at projecting it as I thought.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 6:56:03 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

Admittedly, it wasn't. It was a response to Manko's comment about true Dommes.

I was hoping the sarcasm would show through in my post, but I must not be as good at projecting it as I thought.

Oh, I gotcha now. Sorry for being a tad bit dense. (Sluggish brain cells from stuffing myself at my son's FBLA-Future Business Leaders of America fundraiser earlier this eve)

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 6:56:40 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

I was hoping the sarcasm would show through in my post, but I must not be as good at projecting it as I thought.



You just forgot the winky face.

_____________________________

- Miss Marie


(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/18/2014 7:02:21 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
Rocka- I was going to say that seemed really aggressive for you...

(in reply to MissToYouRedux)
Profile   Post #: 40
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