Young slave Versus Old Master

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Young slave Versus Old Master

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Young slave Versus Old Master

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/25/2004 10:12:35 AM

noiresilence

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/25/2004
Status: offline

Good Afternoon,

I am asking the submissives that are in search of a Master/Mistress

How often have you been asked by a much older man to become His slave and what was your reaction ? My view is to find a man around my age, a Master, Husband, a Lover with whom I can discover things at same rate. I am not looking for any "Experimented Master".

Also, what was the reactions of the Masters/Mistresses regarding your own reply to them ?

In my case, Masters would come back saying

1 . You are an unrealistic sub
2 . You aren't a real sub
3 . Young Master have no experience
4 . Go back to the Vanilla World.

Even though I won't do OR belive any of these things, I was just curious about others submissive's experience.

Thank you very Much

noire_silence

Post #: 1

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/25/2004 11:58:58 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

This is something I get -a lot-, and I'm not really even looking.

I am in a long-term, probably permanant relationship with my dominant partner. He is my age. I am approached -very- regularly by older people telling me that my partner cannot be "really" dominant because he is my age an unexperienced. I am often told that I should leave him to be with a "real" master.

We were, for quite a while, looking for play partners. As in, in addition too. We prefered people around our age.

We prefered this simply because I feel that people our age are more often at the same place in life, thus have more in common. Experience level is less key to me, as I find I've been invovled quite a bit longer than a lot of people my age. Still, I find that I have more in common with individuals who are in college, or recently graduated, or at the same general place as I do with those who own their own buisnesses or are retired. This isn't to say this is ALWAYS true, just that it's something we've found and don't like a whole lot.

Yes, it's an ageist view, but it's one that's been borne up in several friendships. With a few exceptons, individuals more than 10 years older than me seem to consistantly talk down to me, which I will not accept, from anyone.

And yes, I get lots of 'online wanker' accusations. Apparantly, when a girl who is collared refuses to break her collar and run off with you, on the basis of greater experience and greater age alone, and after 10 minutes of online conversation, she is a cyberwanker, not a girl with a very real partner sitting three feet away from her, reading over her shoulder and laughing.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 2

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/26/2004 7:36:24 AM

cynnacent1

Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline

Prior to being collared and owned by INSIDEYOURMIND my profile clearly stated that i prefere and seek an *experienced, older gentleman*. i found Him/He found me (11 year age difference) and i have no regrets, ... couldn't be happier.

quote:

My view is to find a man around my age, a Master, Husband, a Lover with whom I can discover things at same rate.

The rate of experiencing and discovering is very well balanced in the relationship between INSIDEYOURMIND and myself. Not sure how you are looking at it, or able to see what it is you feel would lead to an imbalance, noiresilence. Perhaps i am missing your point. If you mean to suggest that an older man might not be energetic, interesting, or challenging with a strong zest for having fun and enjoying BDSM and/or life in general ... i know of at least 'ONE' who'd put that theory to rest.

Men younger than myself just do not 'do it' for me, ... don't have 'what it takes'. i wouldn't even concider one less than at least 10 years older than myself.

When i started my search for a suitable dominant it was with a clear definition of exactly what i wanted, needed, and required. It took alot of soul searching, and a solid understanding of myself, as well as having to reflect upon past relationships so as to recognize exactly why those had failed. i came away understanding that i had made poor choices, sought out those who had no idea what made themselves 'tick', let alone what makes me 'tick'. The men i had relations with were not compatable with me on an emotional level, maturity was lacking, as well as an understanding of responsabilities. The end result equated to me being in control of them most times (bad ... bad ... bad ... although i am no doubt submissive, pair me up with another submissive and i am easily running circles around them ... can be quite evil and manipulative in getting what i want and need) i had to be the leader. i became resentful, then they became resentful of me, and poof! relationships failed miserably. (yes, we tried to communicate, tried to change things etc etc .... can't force a square peg into a round hole though ... can't change the basics of what makes a person who they are ...).

< Message edited by cynnacent1 -- 11/26/2004 7:41:11 AM >

_____________________________

Current imood of cynnacent1: [image]http://moods.imood.com/display/uname=cynnacent1/fg=339999ns=1/imood.gif[/image] Click the smiley to get your very own imood indicator.

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 3

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/26/2004 10:49:07 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Angel knows some wonderful Dominants who are of an older age... I have also known a few of the same age who would not know a flogger from a whip... yet there are younger Dominants who have more grasp of the concept of all aspects of BDSM than ones 30 years their senior... if You desire a younger Dominant, then stick with that which makes You happy... no matter what others may say and accuse You of. Wisdom doesnt come from age & experience, it comes from listening and patience.

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 4

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/26/2004 11:58:55 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

Honestly, I wasn't saying that one age is superior, or even that people should look for people of the same age.

Rather, I was voicing frustration at the fact that a lot of older people I've come in contact with condem me for prefering younger people.

I know some amazing dominant people and submissive people that are much older than I. I am, in some cases, great friends with them. I'm just not interested in them sexually/romantically. I get angry when this preference is seen to say something negative about me.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 5

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/26/2004 12:03:36 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

How often have you been asked by a much older man to become His slave and

Well the oldest i've been asked by was 10yrs older, but that made him 68. I think it depends what you are looking for. If you just want some fun play times and training then a much older dom may be fine. But if you are looking for possible marriage in the future then someone 30-40yrs older could be a problem for many reasons, but 10-15 years older may not be.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 11/27/2004 1:02:16 PM >

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 6

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/26/2004 12:33:15 PM

willing2serve

Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline

I will admit, I use to think experience comes with age....but I did learn that I was wrong....so I am a violator of age discrimination at one point....LOL...but i know better now....

I will lend some helpful advice to older Doms.....the subbie should at least know Paul McCartney was in a band......if they dont...stick closer to your own age...wink...

Respectfully,
Willing2serve

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 7

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/26/2004 1:05:10 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Rather, I was voicing frustration at the fact that a lot of older people I've come in contact with condem me for prefering younger people.

Do you consider these people Dominant if they are comdemning you for having opinions and choices?
Or are they just showing you some bad temper to come if you did happen to say...sure. I'd try it with you?

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 8

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/26/2004 2:02:48 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

The funny part is that on the other half of things, I find a LOT of 20something male subs who make a total pest of themselves wanting to be taken on by an "older woman." I prefer people within 10 years either side of my own age (37.) (the older side preferable to the younger.) I do find the younger someone is, often the less I have to talk about with them. It is a stage of life thing. When you've been through X and you see someone younger going through it, you want to give them your experience on it, which is often seen as "being talked down to." Once in a while you'll find someone who is able to deal easily with people outside their age range. I have an 18 year old friend and a 20 year old friend. There are common threads in our lives so we're able to share past generational boundaries.

Anyone who condemns you for your own preference isn't worth the time it takes to click delete on their mail. While yes, age often equals experience, why do they assume it is the experience you seek? You may want to shape your life in a different way than they did. Since the core of this lifestyle is trust, I'd rather have someone I knew cared about me and had my best interests in mind over someone with tons of experience. Realize that the reactions of these men who are contacting you are sour grapes. They've been turned away because of their age. This can hurt their egos. Rather than reacting in a mature fashion, their pain makes them try to make it a deficit in YOU rather than them.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 9

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/26/2004 9:03:25 PM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: noiresilence

How often have you been asked by a much older man to become His slave and what was your reaction ?

It doesn't really matter what age they are. One fact is clear: If any Master or Mistress is trying to tempt you into a relationship you didn't state wanted and then insulting you when you say "no, thank you", they're not acting in such a way that shows they are this "better" Dominant they are claiming to be.

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 10

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/27/2004 12:31:42 PM

merrymasochist

Posts: 156
Joined: 9/2/2004
Status: offline

first off, age does not always equal experience...

secondly, those type of responses you listed are an inappropriate reaction no matter what age...

and lastly, you have a right to your preferences and it's within your rights to use that preference as a part of your search criteria and selections...

for my own part, i like older Gents and always have...

good luck in your searching...
~smiles~

(in reply to MistressFire70)

Post #: 11

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/28/2004 8:54:51 PM

siamsa24

Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline

I get letters nearly every day from both much older and some younger men (mostly older men though). The oldest was 57, which is about 56 years older then me, and that's a bit much.
My Dom is 34, about 13 years older, and I think that's about right for me.
In my opinion, it has little to do with experience or being a "true" anything. It has to do with maturity and what point you are at in your life. Right now, my Dom and I are at the same place (although he will be the first to admit that I am often the more "adult" one) and it works out well for us.

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 12

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/29/2004 3:39:41 AM

tanna

Posts: 51
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline

It is simply a matter of preference when we decide to 'date' or not to 'date' an older, or younger, man. Age has nothing to do with maturity, but has everything to do with what we are looking for in a compatible partner.

Yes, I too have been told that I am not really submissive, or that I wasn't being realistic in what I was searching for, blah blah.. However, when it comes down to it, I have the final say in who I date, coercing me won't make me change my mind. Behavior like that only makes me more positive that I made the right choice in turning them down.

Stick to what you know is best for you. After all, it is YOUR decision and you should feel good about your choices for yourself. No one, not even a Dominant, will ever know you as well as you know for yourself what you need/want.

tanna

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 13

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 11/29/2004 2:06:08 PM

dally

Posts: 108
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

My former Master, which was my first and only Master, was much older than me. I met him online and we connected instantly, it was something out of this world! He told me he was 49, at the time I must of been about 26, he was way older but I didn't want to let that bother me because he was exactly the man I had dreamt of all my life....6 months into the relationship however, I discover his true age, which was 59....the lie bothered me greatly but even at that point I was so inlove with him I decided not to let age come between us....however, long story short, about 2 yrs later, after having a stormy on and off again relationship I realized that the major difference in age, the gap in generation, the difference in mentality was too great for even love to conquer.
I always liked older men, and still do, but now i prefer someone who is closer in age to me.

quote:

And those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music. - Angela Monet

Attachment (1)

(in reply to tanna)

Post #: 14

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/1/2004 10:06:42 AM

MastersGirl

Posts: 13
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline

I think you should not just look at age. It is just a number anyway, not a lifestyle or personality trait. My husband/Master is 20 years older than me and I have a hard time keeping up with him sometimes! We don't ever notice our age unless we discuss old movies or brand new music...things like that. We were lucky enough to find each other and grew into the lifestyle together, but still at our own pace. The thing I like about his age is that he is so much more secure with himself as a peson and does not have the ego that younger men do. Some people have asked me what I will do when he dies before me. I always reply that even if we were the same age, he could still die before me and I would rather have 20 amazing years with him than a lifetime with somebody else. Think about the kind of person they are.....the kind of partner, friend and Master they would be. Don't just turn someone away because they are older.

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 15

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/1/2004 10:35:24 AM

inadazey

Posts: 69
Joined: 10/7/2004
Status: offline

Well, the responses you've heard just sound like "sore loser" to me. Personally, I would never, ever want to be with a dom who didn't have the maturity level to respond with politeness and as a gentleman after being politely turned down. That goes to show that in many cases, age is just a number.. because these men certainly aren't behaving with maturity.

While I was searching, I had a *general* rule when it came to age. I didn't want to be with someone old enough to be my father, or with someone more than a couple of years younger than me. However, meeting many people and making many good friends over the years, I found that age doesn't have much to do with compatibility. So my advice is not to close yourself off from getting to know anyone because of their age... at the least, you can meet a good friend and mentor... and you could also find yourself in the position of, "I NEVER thought I'd want to be with someone this much older, but I feel more compatible with him than I ever have." You just never know.

That being said, NO ONE should condemn you for your preferences, and there is nothing wrong with having such a preference. One would hope that, in this lifestyle, people wouldn't criticize each other for having different preferences of any kind... unfortunately, that's not always the case. So if any "dom" acts like a five-year old who didn't get the toy he wanted after you turn him down, that tells you as much as you need to know about him.

BUT, I can't help but feel that you're just a little closed off, yourself. Please don't take that as criticism, but you might enjoy at least getting to know doms who don't fit your basic age criteria, if only because you can learn a lot and expand your horizons by just getting to know and making friends with people of all different varieties. I'm collared, but i have and have had a number of doms as friends over the years. And even if you're not compatible in a dom/sub kind of way, that doesn't mean you can't be great friends. Take care :) ~daisy~

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 16

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/1/2004 11:24:37 AM

slvtoplayfulman

Posts: 14
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Well I thought I would chime in, my man is 19 years older than I am and when we first met I was 19 and he was 38 but before you gasp please understand that I really was a novice and needed someone who was going to talk to me and take me along very slowly, I also needed someone to help me form a vanilla life and find a way to get an education. My Master, my guy did all that. Imagine knowing a man for almost 4 months in the same city and not being pressured to sleep with him, it was about mentoring me at first, not just owning me. Even when we started dating it was the 3rd date before I was invited to stay over and begin to experience what I was fantasizing about. There are true "older" gentleman out there and you should not count them out right off the bat, certainly if they are rude, or you think they will be abusive then just delete and block them, but a true gentleman will have something to say, will listen and will offer to mentor, just take it slow no matter what.

(in reply to inadazey)

Post #: 17

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/2/2004 1:08:38 PM

softysub

Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline

I have had alot of Doms asking me if the age difference bothered me and i replied no. For me, age has nothing to do with it, my current Dom is 16 yrs older than me, and the important thing for me, is if i am comfortable with Him and being respect, its all that matters.

I am in heaven with My Dom

softysub

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 18

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/2/2004 4:07:23 PM

NoCalOwner

Posts: 241
Status: offline

Based on a few decades of experiences with people up to 15 years older, and up to 20 years younger than me, I can't say that age has mattered at all. In fact, most of the women I've been with who were within 5 years of my own age had a lot less in common with me than the ones who were younger or older. That's not to say that there's any reason it should be that way, but fate can be surprising. I don't think that anyone can expect to meet many people who would be a perfect match with them... in fact, I think that a lot of people never even meet one. So I look on bigotry of any sort as a horrible waste, since the person who is ignored or rejected because of their age/ethnicity/whatever may have been the match of a lifetime. It's on the same level as, say, refusing to talk to anyone who is 5 pounds overweight. Both superficial and self-defeating. Life's too short to put on blinders that way.

I didn't always feel like this, however. When I was 18 I rejected a woman who was 36 based solely on her being twice my age. What can I say? I was too inexperienced to question the stereotypes and prejudices I was raised with. I'm just very glad that I learned from my mistake.

-- NCO
Celebrating a wonderful 9 years and 6 days with zoot, who is 20 years, 2 months and a day younger than me.

_____________________________

"Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent rather than passive agreement; for if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter."
-- Bertrand Russell

(in reply to noiresilence)

Post #: 19

RE: Young slave Versus Old Master - 12/2/2004 4:41:28 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Rejecting someone on the basis of age is not the same as rejecting them because of race. There are real reasons why too big of an age difference will guarantee that the relationship fails. It also depends on the ages of the people involved. Being a 40/30 couple is much different than being a 30/20 couple.
I had a very young gf in the past, and though we truly loved each other, we are not together today precisely because as she grew and discovered herself, she realized that who she was and what her goals were did not follow the same path as I was on. And though there may be exceptions, this is usually what happens.

(in reply to NoCalOwner)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Young slave Versus Old Master

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078