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CreativeDominant -> RE: Degradation v. Dishonor (7/13/2006 4:08:38 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101
I've always maintained that these concepts (degradation/humiliation v. honor/dishonor) are distinct from one another. Degradation/humiliation activities, in my mind, deal more with what someone does to you (and what you allow to be done to yourself), whereas honor/dishonor deals more with how you treat and act towards others. While I'm not a huge fan of humiliation games, I can appreciate the erotic D/s dynamic, and the way in which they can emphasize your submission to a Domme. I don't perceive anything redeeming in dishonorable activity, however.
I've debated this question with others who think both concepts are intrinsically related to one's self-pride and ego, which many have said have no place in a good and well-trained sub.
What are your thoughts?
Regards, ATP
I agree that the concepts are distinct. As a matter of fact, I distinguish between humiliation and degradation, at least in the D/s dynamic thanks to what I've learned through my time in WIITWD.
Humiliation: The concept of taking something within the sexual realm that makes your submissive hot...while at the same time, it embarasses her...but damn! it makes her hot. A fairly common example of this is the use of terms such as slut, bitch, etc. Another example would be telling her to perform a sexual act that she is good at but that she perhaps rarely talks about or when she does, she gets embarassed. While she is performing this act, start telling her how good she is at it...what a natural...God, she must love it...etc. A final example would be the begggng discussed on SusanofO's thread. Humiliation...when done right...tends to build up the self-esteem of the person involved in some way unique to each D/s dynamic.
Degradation: The concept of taking the self-worth of someone and doing something to take it down. For example...knowing your submissive is insecure about how she is doing as a mother and then telling her what a rotten mother she is or that her kids don't really love her. Knowing your dominant is feeling anxious about whether or not he'll get the promotion and telling him with a cynical laugh that of course, he won't get it...he's too stupid. This can play over into the sexual arena too...telling your submissive that you just love watching the way her fat ass gets rolling and won't stop when you're fucking her, even after you've stopped. Telling your dominant that he eats pussy like he's eating an apple and how the hell does he think anyone could ever get off that way. Degradation takes away from a person's good feelings about themselves and makes them feel a bit less than what they are...and definitely makes the person inflicting the degradation less than what they are.
Honor/Dishonor: This is something that is, to me, a feeling inside of you that is based on what you are. Being someone who people look to for support and care and love, being someone who has a kind word for someone that is down, being someone who refuses to speak ill about another to others when you won't do so to the person's face, being someone whose word can be relied upon, being a friend even when it is difficult because of the hurt the other person may've inflicted on you and yet, being the type of person who knows the right time to no longer be a friend, fulfilling obligations to your submissive/dominant and to your family and to your friends; these are all things that bring honor to a person. Being a person who lies, cheats, steals, breaks hearts and cares little for the emotional/physical/mental harm they do to others; these are all actions that bring dishonor.
MOO, YMMV
~Fools rush in...where wise men fear to go...but wise men never fall in love...so how are they to know?~ Rick Nelson (yes, that Rick Nelson)
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