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Kelaina -> RE: Looking for an opinion (12/30/2014 7:25:41 PM)
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While I like the clear lines you have a for a relationship, this part right here bothers me.
You're a curious girl that knows how to be honest with yourself. Adventurous and interested in the unknown, you're looking for no-pressure conversations about everything really. You can count on me to understand what you're talking about, to tell you that you're smart, and when you're right.
Don't ever make the mistake of telling another person who they are or what they feel, even in a profile. I get what you're trying to do, but it comes across as very arrogant, very "I know you already even though I've never met you, and I say you're A B and C."
What if she's not honest with herself? Nearly everyone lies to themselves in some capacity; I bet you do it too. How do you KNOW she's looking for no-pressure conversations? The first time I met my husband, we had an intense six hour debate about feminism and the female gaze through film. It was absolutely NOT a no pressure conversation, and if he'd tried to talk to me about the weather or a hobby he was only mildly interested in, I'd have been bored stiff.
Now, if those are things you want from a woman, that's fine, but I recommend you restructure your sentences and say something more like "I want a woman who's honest with herself and curious. I'd like casual conversation first."
The second half of that paragraph throws up immediate red flags for me.
You can count on me to understand what you're talking about, to tell you that you're smart, and when you're right.
Dude, I've just met you. I can't count on you to tell me the grass is green. And what if you meet a woman who works in chemical engineering? What if she's a systems administrator? Or a doctor? You are NOT going to understand what she's talking about, not if she goes in depth. It also assumes a serious level of arrogance on your part, that you know this woman you've never met so well.
Now, maybe some women need this, but if you were approaching me and you actually used the line "I'll tell you that you're smart", I would delete your messages so fast your head would spin. Try not to assume that women need men to tell them stuff they already know about themselves. We don't. If she's smart, she probably knows it. Most women do NOT need validation from men.
(Are you sure you're not looking for a super doormat sub?)
Same with the telling me when I'm right. I am a horrible arguer; I will yell and shout and shove facts at you and if I'm right I will continue to debate that right up to the point where I realize you have a head made of iron and can't be reasoned with, at which point I'll kick you out and go draw a bath and keep reading my book.
Stop with this belief that women need validation from men, ESPECIALLY if you're arguing. We do not need our egos stroked like that.
You asked for advice, that's mine. Change the wording of the top of this paragraph, and get rid of all that other stuff, unless what you're really looking for is a hapless sub who needs to be told by her male partner how awesome she is every five minutes. And if that's the case, don't look for a switch. We're better than that, I promise you.
(Disclaimer: I am in NO WAY stating all subs act like this; I'm 90% sub myself. But it seems the OP wants someone who needs his masculinity to prop her up, and he's more likely to find that in a submissive woman than a switch.)
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