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RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/27/2015 9:13:31 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I had an interesting fake profile message me yesterday. A beautiful 26 year old woman saying she wants me to be her Master because she likes me. Her profile states that she works in a hotel in California but lives in Virginia and complained that the commute was rough.



I suppose Colorado to California would be a little better, but not much.

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/27/2015 9:32:25 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I had an interesting fake profile message me yesterday. A beautiful 26 year old woman saying she wants me to be her Master because she likes me. Her profile states that she works in a hotel in California but lives in Virginia and complained that the commute was rough.

And you didn't jump on that? Imagine the frequent flyer miles she's racked up!

You missed a golden opportunity for a Nigerian honeymoon.

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~Roxie

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RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/27/2015 5:29:48 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		I noticed something nobody touched on in this thread - namely, that there is no such thing as a fake.

Whatever you are, you are, and that's as real as it gets. Whatever you seem is whatever you project combined with how the viewer chooses to interpret you. The subjectivity is what muddles the works up.

I've been told that I'm not a 'real' Dom several times throughout the decades. Few people have replied when I ask them why they hold that opinion (beyond insults or reiteration). I listen to what those few say and consider it, because that subjectivity comes about as a combined result of both myself and that person. If I'm projecting something that I feel doesnt represent who I am, that's worth looking at and giving some thought.

In a more detailed vein, what you want to do (or not do) doesn't define your credentials. Maybe you need to be tied up or you can't achieve orgasm, and maybe bondage isn't my thing. Maybe you squick at pain and I'm a sadist. I don't think any of those things make you any more or less real; all that is, is compatibility.

If I had to take a stab at defining reality, here, I'd choose to go by role and keep it simple: one person prefers to lead, and one person prefers to follow. That's it. A good leader gives reason to be followed; a good follower supports their chosen leader.

If anyone else wants to take a stab at it, or share a different viewpoint, by all means. That's the purpose of a forum, after all.

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RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/27/2015 6:28:19 PM   
usememistress775


Posts: 201
Joined: 1/15/2015
Status: offline 		Sorry remote I have to burst your bubble, there are fake profiles. I get one in particular that favorites me every new account they get, same picture. But it's easy to tell since the profile is just a link to another website.

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/27/2015 7:23:35 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: usememistress775

Sorry remote I have to burst your bubble, there are fake profiles. I get one in particular that favorites me every new account they get, same picture. But it's easy to tell since the profile is just a link to another website.


That's not a person, that's a business. I meant people, sorry.


_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/29/2015 1:47:04 AM   
HghHeelgirl


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/2/2014
Status: offline 		Regrettably, there is no guarantee. In my experience those who push too hard I back away from. I have met a few very legitimate individuals here. I have a circle of people with whom I chat with regularly and I speak with many on this site but those who persist on re-routing to another chat app I lose interest in very quickly. Those are the ones who seem to be curious and nothing more. So ultimately, patience is the key. In time true character reveals itself. To control or submit to A/another is a big decision, not one that should be rushed. So good luck to you!! You've gotten a lot of really good perspective responses to help you make your own determinations :)

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/30/2015 10:59:49 AM   
HumiliationDog


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/2/2008
Status: offline 		Fakes "talk AT you" not "TO you". Fakes and scammers have an agenda, to take as much money as quickly as possible from you with as few words said as possible. When someone replies back to you, do they sound like they are responding to the email you sent them or do they sound like they are replying to someone else who forwarded them an email that another person received from another person who was drunk as they translated that email from English, to Tagalog and then back to English and finally sent the reply back to you? I automatically decide a person is fake if all I receive as a reply says, "I require a tribute" or "Add me to yahoo" or any similar short reply that totally ignores everything I have written, especially if 98% - 100% of their email is only about the money they expect you to give to them. Most scammers want to get you away from this website to some other form of communications in order to pull off their scam. A real Domme, someone who is serious about acquiring a slave most likely won't quibble over the form of communications just as long as they are able to communicate. But a scammer will want to get you on their own turf where they can take advantage of you.

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/30/2015 11:25:40 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HumiliationDog

Fakes "talk AT you" not "TO you". Fakes and scammers have an agenda, to take as much money as quickly as possible from you with as few words said as possible. When someone replies back to you, do they sound like they are responding to the email you sent them or do they sound like they are replying to someone else who forwarded them an email that another person received from another person who was drunk as they translated that email from English, to Tagalog and then back to English and finally sent the reply back to you? I automatically decide a person is fake if all I receive as a reply says, "I require a tribute" or "Add me to yahoo" or any similar short reply that totally ignores everything I have written, especially if 98% - 100% of their email is only about the money they expect you to give to them. Most scammers want to get you away from this website to some other form of communications in order to pull off their scam. A real Domme, someone who is serious about acquiring a slave most likely won't quibble over the form of communications just as long as they are able to communicate. But a scammer will want to get you on their own turf where they can take advantage of you.




Nice response!!


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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/30/2015 11:38:51 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

Also, lifestyle Dommes don't usually go around cold-contacting males. This in itself is highly suspect to the ones who've been on here for a while. (We don't have to for the most part with the disproportionate ratio of subs to Dommes, and have our hands full as it is.) Just saying.


There's an important exception to that, FO. Some femdoms will pretty much *only* talk to those malesubs that they, the femdoms, have contacted first. Given that femdoms do get a lot of contact from males, there's a logic to that, of course - roughly, 'Why bother sort the tiny amount of wheat from the chaff when the wheat is advertising itself? Might as well be proactive'. At any rate, if a femdom instigates contact with me, I'm perfectly happy about it. So long, that is, that the indicators are that she's not a scam artist (and I can easily tell those, these days).

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 1/30/2015 11:40:57 AM >

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RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/30/2015 11:51:05 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

Also, lifestyle Dommes don't usually go around cold-contacting males. This in itself is highly suspect to the ones who've been on here for a while. (We don't have to for the most part with the disproportionate ratio of subs to Dommes, and have our hands full as it is.) Just saying.


There's an important exception to that, FO. Some femdoms will pretty much *only* talk to those malesubs that they, the femdoms, have contacted first. Given that femdoms do get a lot of contact from males, there's a logic to that, of course - roughly, 'Why bother sort the tiny amount of wheat from the chaff when the wheat is advertising itself? Might as well be proactive'. At any rate, if a femdom instigates contact with me, I'm perfectly happy about it. So long, that is, that the indicators are that she's not a scam artist (and I can easily tell those, these days).


This is pretty accurate in my case. I have to be proactive to find what I want because I'm picky. My current service boy though reached out to me on a whim after reading me on the message boards. Smart boy did his homework.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/30/2015 1:38:48 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		[Brackets mine]
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Also, [IRT] lifestyle Dommes don't usually go around cold-contacting males. This in itself is highly suspect to the ones who've been on here for a while. (We don't have to for the most part with the disproportionate ratio of subs to Dommes, and have our hands full as it is.) Just saying.

There's an important exception to that, FO. Some femdoms will pretty much *only* talk to those malesubs that they, the femdoms, have contacted first. Given that femdoms do get a lot of contact from males, there's a logic to that, of course - roughly, 'Why bother sort the tiny amount of wheat from the chaff when the wheat is advertising itself? Might as well be proactive'. At any rate, if a femdom instigates contact with me, I'm perfectly happy about it. So long, that is, that the indicators are that she's not a scam artist (and I can easily tell those, these days).

Which is why I placed emphasis on the above phrase. Also, there are Cyber Dommes who stick to conducting on-line interactions, and since this is their medium (note the on-line Hypo-Domme the other day who complained about not getting responses to her initiating messages), that isn't who I had in mind when I specified "lifestyle Dommes."
(Plus, I don't know how it works when FemDoms contact femsubs, which might be a whole other ball of wax. I've had femsubs contact me before, ranging from anything to offering no-strings maid service, which I politely decline, to commenting on forum posts that I've made.)

If I have never interacted on the Message Boards with a sub, or we haven't posted on the same active thread, then I would consider that a cold contact. This means I don't know them from Adam, and they don't know me from Eve.

Of course there are exceptions. I'm trying to think of one where I might have had a romantic interest. No, none comes to mind, but that could be due to my not looking up profiles unless it is a forum poster, in which case it doesn't matter what his or her orientation is. That's just a personal preference of mine. I have enough details in my profile for a sub to ascertain whether we might make a potentially good match. Detail tends to be lacking the other way around. I want somebody to disclose information about himself that he can't backpedal on, as many (male) subs and switches deliberately try to be as vague as possible as part of their tactical strategy of being "everything to every Domme," a tactic which tends to backfire on me since I seek specific qualities, attributes, and predilections within certain parameters.

My male sub friends have told me in the past that the only Dommes who have ever cold-contacted them had ulterior motives, as it turned out. One has an artsy avatar, so he does get comments about that. However, he has no interest in leaving the UK to go live with a Turkish couple as their houseboy slave.

A Domme friend of mine contacted two subs whose profiles interested her. With one she had a question for clarification, and with the other, she complimented him on his well-written profile. Neither of these panned out for her, as they soon took it to be a green light to start asking her very personal questions of a prurient nature and/or made inappropriate remarks. She told me, Never Again.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/30/2015 1:48:43 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		FR, I have surveyed a straw poll of about 358 Lifestyle Dommes and that poll indicates...oh wait...

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/30/2015 3:51:21 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

A Domme friend of mine contacted two subs whose profiles interested her. With one she had a question for clarification, and with the other, she complimented him on his well-written profile. Neither of these panned out for her, as they soon took it to be a green light to start asking her very personal questions of a prurient nature and/or made inappropriate remarks. She told me, Never Again
.

Ah. Not good. I don't recall asking such questions of any femdom who's initiated contact with me. But, then, I guess that might be because they've already sized me up as not the sort who'd do that, from my profile. Me, I tend to see those 'initiators' always in a good light: I feel them to be, at the very least, gutsy. I'm always going to be at least polite in return - they deserve nothing less.


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RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/30/2015 6:45:54 PM   
usememistress775


Posts: 201
Joined: 1/15/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Ah. Not good. I don't recall asking such questions of any femdom who's initiated contact with me. But, then, I guess that might be because they've already sized me up as not the sort who'd do that, from my profile. Me, I tend to see those 'initiators' always in a good light: I feel them to be, at the very least, gutsy. I'm always going to be at least polite in return - they deserve nothing less.



Golfclap.

Exactly my sentiments.

_____________________________

I might join the mission to Mars, every mission needs a leader to stay calm and collected. I could bring her drinks and sandwiches.

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/31/2015 2:07:01 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Ah. Not good. I don't recall asking such questions of any femdom who's initiated contact with me. But, then, I guess that might be because they've already sized me up as not the sort who'd do that, from my profile. Me, I tend to see those 'initiators' always in a good light: I feel them to be, at the very least, gutsy. I'm always going to be at least polite in return - they deserve nothing less.


See, the thing is, she and I compare notes since we're within the same region. Many of the same subs who contact her also contact me and vice versa. The main difference between us is that she's a (Kind) Sadist and enjoys foot worship. I'm not a Sadist, and I barely tolerate it. As you can imagine, we hear conflicting stories from the same exact subs depending on which of us they are contacting.
(Now, I was trying to keep this hush-hush, but I've spilled the beans.) The biggest discrepancies we see are with males switches.

I don't want to bore you with all the accounts I've heard from other Dommes. We've all run into flaky personalities in one form or another. With me, it's when I request a current photo, preferably a casual cellpic. I either hear every excuse in the book or don't hear back from a sub for a month or two. Naturally, he's persona non grata at that point. It's always appreciated when a recent photo is provided without having to request one.

Back to my friend's correspondences. Both of those subs she had contacted started acting flaky, evasive about any personal info (general biographical, nothing that could identify them), and took their merry ole time in getting back to her. Now, it's different if we're talking about friends or a forum regular who doesn't log in to the profile side on a routine basis. Inattentiveness this early in the process on the part of a male sub seeking a Mistress, is inexcusable. I don't know many women, much less Dommes, who will stand for this, as it is tantamount to non-compliance. Once she refused to jump onto the sextalk bandwagon, they immediately lost interest. But because she was the one who initiated contact, she feels that she wasn't given a greater amount of courtesy than if they had been vying for her attention from the very start.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/31/2015 6:16:11 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

A Domme friend of mine contacted two subs whose profiles interested her. With one she had a question for clarification, and with the other, she complimented him on his well-written profile. Neither of these panned out for her, as they soon took it to be a green light to start asking her very personal questions of a prurient nature and/or made inappropriate remarks. She told me, Never Again
.

Ah. Not good. I don't recall asking such questions of any femdom who's initiated contact with me. But, then, I guess that might be because they've already sized me up as not the sort who'd do that, from my profile. Me, I tend to see those 'initiators' always in a good light: I feel them to be, at the very least, gutsy. I'm always going to be at least polite in return - they deserve nothing less.



I've encountered the same problem but on the opposite side of the kneel. A couple of times I contacted a D-type and complemented him on his profile. They took it as a sign of interest and started bombarding me with questions - without bothering to view my profile I might add. So like her never again.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/31/2015 1:33:36 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

I've encountered the same problem but on the opposite side of the kneel. A couple of times I contacted a D-type and complemented him on his profile. They took it as a sign of interest and started bombarding me with questions - without bothering to view my profile I might add. So like her never again.


That's a shame, LiveSpark. I do understand it.

The women who've contacted me, first, have always been on my wavelength. They've said something short, funny, but perceptive about my profile. I've only ever responded to them in kind. I've *never* moved straight onto kink stuff - I would never have even dreamed of it. I think, 'this is an impressive woman' - and begin to talk to her.

I have some little idea of what a woman has gone through, and what experiences she's had, in this online socialising business. I don't profess to know the whole story, but I know enough to know that it can be gratingly nasty for the average woman.

I don't disdain women who won't make first contact. I just admire the guts of the women who do.

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/31/2015 1:50:31 PM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

I've encountered the same problem but on the opposite side of the kneel. A couple of times I contacted a D-type and complemented him on his profile. They took it as a sign of interest and started bombarding me with questions - without bothering to view my profile I might add. So like her never again.


That's a shame, LiveSpark. I do understand it.

The women who've contacted me, first, have always been on my wavelength. They've said something short, funny, but perceptive about my profile. I've only ever responded to them in kind. I've *never* moved straight onto kink stuff - I would never have even dreamed of it. I think, 'this is an impressive woman' - and begin to talk to her.

I have some little idea of what a woman has gone through, and what experiences she's had, in this online socialising business. I don't profess to know the whole story, but I know enough to know that it can be gratingly nasty for the average woman.

I don't disdain women who won't make first contact. I just admire the guts of the women who do.


They're more of a PITA than anything else peon. The "oooooo I've got a live one!!!!!" desperation that comes with the messages is really tough to shake.

I just can't see you doing something like that, you're just too polite and respectful, another reason you are generally adored here by us ladies.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/31/2015 1:58:05 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you, LiveSpark. :-)

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How To Tell The Real From The Fakes? - 1/31/2015 2:20:15 PM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Thank you, LiveSpark. :-)


TBH the sight of your abs doesn't hurt

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 60
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