so I met a guy at a munch

so I met a guy at a munch (Full Version)

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LittleGirlQuinn -> so I met a guy at a munch (1/27/2015 5:48:38 PM)
We attended the same munch twice, but didn't talk much at all. Then a few days later after the last munch, we went to a movie screening at somebodies house, and then cards against humanity happened afterwards. That was just a tiny bit of back story. My questions begins where he sent me a friend request after the movie night. Then we talk, and he asks me if I'm still looking for a play partner. I said yes, because I am, among other things. But neither of us has had play partners before, outside of a relationship. So my question is, what kind if questions do I ask a potential play partner? Aside from what their hard/soft limits are. Do I ask if it's going to be a sexual relationship as well? I don't know how to go about this. He's younger than I am, freshly turned 18, whereas I'll be 25 in June. So he will likely be looking to me for answers, and I don't have them. Which is why I'm here, asking you lovely folk.

usememistress775 -> RE: so I met a guy at a munch (1/27/2015 6:05:50 PM)
Hmmm.... First question is are you both switches? If so do you or he have a preferred role but willing to switch? If not then it's a different conversation completely.

LittleGirlQuinn -> RE: so I met a guy at a munch (1/27/2015 6:53:00 PM)
Yeah, we're both switches. So I'll ask him about his preferred role.

RockaRolla -> RE: so I met a guy at a munch (1/27/2015 7:15:18 PM)
Definitely ask his preferred role, and what he wants to get out of a scene. Kinky sex? A good beating? Ask about his aftercare needs, if any. What he's into, curious about, experienced in or wants to learn. Doesn't sound like you two have established compatibility. I'll assume you're attracted to each other, but that's not all it takes. Be prepared to the possibility that this might not work out.

LittleGirlQuinn -> RE: so I met a guy at a munch (1/27/2015 7:27:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RockaRolla Definitely ask his preferred role, and what he wants to get out of a scene. Kinky sex? A good beating? Ask about his aftercare needs, if any. What he's into, curious about, experienced in or wants to learn. Doesn't sound like you two have established compatibility. I'll assume you're attracted to each other, but that's not all it takes. Be prepared to the possibility that this might not work out. Yeah, we haven't discussed compatibility. We haven't discussed a whole lot. I was mainly thinking I'd ask all the questions when I'm at his place on Friday. I did tell him I'm not wanting to jump right into playing anyways, and he agreed. So the first time I'm there (for ~2 hours), it will just be us asking each other questions.

Gauge -> RE: so I met a guy at a munch (1/27/2015 7:49:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LittleGirlQuinn Yeah, we haven't discussed compatibility. We haven't discussed a whole lot. I was mainly thinking I'd ask all the questions when I'm at his place on Friday. I did tell him I'm not wanting to jump right into playing anyways, and he agreed. So the first time I'm there (for ~2 hours), it will just be us asking each other questions. Communication. Communication. Communication. Discuss things, not just kinky things... life, food, movies, games, whatever you like, but communicate. There seems to me to be a bit of urgency to your questions and my first response would be why do you need to rush into anything? Take your time, if you are both interested in each other, then you should find out all you can. The sex and kink stuff can wait, and in some instances should wait. One important question I would ask him is where did he get interested in kink and where did he go to learn about it. Based on his response, you have a baseline for what he is going to have to learn. Go slow. No rush.

LittleGirlQuinn -> RE: so I met a guy at a munch (1/27/2015 9:23:26 PM)
I'm not exactly rushing. I mean, I'm excited, as it's been about a year since I've had anything done to me/done anything to anybody else...so to finally have a chance again is probably getting to me a bit. He did ask for us to go out for coffee...which I had declined...as I kind of already know him a tiny bit, so I just told him we could just skip the public place and go right to his place. Was that a mistake? Should I have gone out with him to a coffee shop or whatever before going to his place? We had already met several times at munches...>.< But maybe it would have been better to have a public relaxing place to talk one on one >.> Bleh.

Gauge -> RE: so I met a guy at a munch (1/27/2015 9:52:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LittleGirlQuinn I'm not exactly rushing. I mean, I'm excited, as it's been about a year since I've had anything done to me/done anything to anybody else...so to finally have a chance again is probably getting to me a bit. He did ask for us to go out for coffee...which I had declined...as I kind of already know him a tiny bit, so I just told him we could just skip the public place and go right to his place. Was that a mistake? Should I have gone out with him to a coffee shop or whatever before going to his place? We had already met several times at munches...>.< But maybe it would have been better to have a public relaxing place to talk one on one >.> Bleh. Well, why wouldn't you want to sit and talk at every opportunity? I'm not going to tell you that you have made a mistake, only time will tell that. Perhaps a public setting for talking would be better than the more intimate setting of his place, use your judgement, you know what is best for you.

preytolife -> RE: so I met a guy at a munch (1/28/2015 8:53:16 AM)
You've met him before in a public setting. If you're comfortable going right to his place then go for it. Just consider the message you're sending and what you want. If you wanna know something then ask it, don't obsess that it's gonna sound weird or if it's PC to bring it up. Have fun with it. And maybe don't make the first time you play together the hardest scene you've ever done in your life.

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