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Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 6:21:47 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

We have some media that should bring the curious here in droves... the current books and subsequent movie is offering some "fresh" vocabulary for search engines and many of those roads will lead to here.

My appreciation of the site is largely the good that is done here. We have many knowledgable and experienced people that offer good solid advice whenever a "serious" topic is posted... but the free ranged clueless could begin bombarding the site with new threads.

Prior to the current media frenzy/fire, we would get a lot of wank threads, chest beater threads, armchair D threads, Princess /s threads, and so on... most stemming from what we really aren't about, usually the instant gratification or fantasy realm tired old crap.

That said, I'm interested in exploring an "Okay, so you think you're kinky" sticky that we can point the "new rush" towards.

RS's recommended reading list is always a go to for me (and the people in my sig line). If you'e willing to, I'd like to work out a "So you think you're kinky" sticky that could be "stickied" strategically and new traffic can/could be directed to it.

We can do the whole "spitball" here and then pick it apart for relevance for a locked sticky later (mods willing), if you're willing to play. So, if you're willing to play, would you write a letter of advice to your younger self, based on WIITYD, how you identify, and post it here?

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

Post #: 1

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 6:29:42 AM

caitley

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/25/2015
Status: offline

Personally I would not mind just allowing the new people to post whatever they wanted, and respond (or not respond) to each individually.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 2

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 6:36:32 AM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

I feel there won't be a "rush" as the majority of those have already googled and infested the internet when the book was released...

(in reply to caitley)

Post #: 3

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 7:03:29 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

If there is a "rush", I believe it's an opportunity to perform one of our duties; to help newcomers find their way in a lifestyle that was very confusing to most of us, when we first found it.

As a community, we need to welcome and protect them from the dangers that we all know exist, in this lifestyle. There are all sorts of pitfalls; not all of them as dangerous as "life-or-death", but even those exist.

It is a wonderful opportunity to grow as a community and to do some good for others.

Or, we could just 'stake our claim" and keep this little corner of the interwebz all to ourselves like some personal fiefdom for which someone else foots the bill.

I'll opt for the former.

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 4

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 7:09:51 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

I think we may have seen it already as the film has been out a week. mind you, there were still plenty of women queuing to see it last night despite all the crappy reviews that it's had.

it may get rather tedious repeating 'this is real life, and you can't just beat the shit out of someone, or fuck them without their consent', but it's probably what it'll come down to.

needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Post #: 5

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 7:21:29 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're correct. The book(s) have been so popular (Why, God? WHY?!?!) for so long that I think we've already enjoyed whatever wave there's going to be.

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to needlesandpins)

Post #: 6

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 7:23:15 AM

PyrotheClown

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline

Yer expecting a flood,but I think the most we'll get is a light drizzle... . . .

(in reply to needlesandpins)

Post #: 7

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 7:28:22 AM

satanscharmer

Posts: 376
Status: offline

I'm going to assume those that read the book would have already googled by now if they were so inclined to. Although the men that were dragged to the movie theater with their SO, who probably didn't read the book, may be next? Either way, rush or not, it seems that there have always been the curious. Some more sincere and serious than others. I'd hate to scare the sincere away.

I think your idea could be really interesting, though. My letter would mostly include how it's okay to accept myself and my desires and to follow where I want to go, not where I believe others want me to go. That, really, nobody gives two shits about me or what I do so I should just do whatever it is that I want to do. So, my letter most likely isn't exactly what you're looking for.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 8

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 7:42:30 AM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

I don't think it will be bad.
It would have already happened.

(in reply to satanscharmer)

Post #: 9

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 7:59:26 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

Dear young Tyrant,

All the things that made you different were not bad things, in spite of what you were told, lead to believe, or the were forced upon you. The word that you always were, but won’t discover until much later, is called Primal.

It was never anyone’s place to judge how you handled her, but her. How she responded to your hand wrapped in her hair pulling her head to the side. How she responded to your teeth to her neck, your nails in her back, your firm grip on her thigh… her acquiescence was in her concupiscence which you brought on like a raging storm through your Primal actions. When she said yes, yes, yes, it ended there; other’s perceptions of your interaction is/was/always will be null and void.

You learned pretty early that to lead, you first needed to follow, but I want to encourage you to read these authors sooner rather than latter; Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, and many, many more philosophers and tacticians… love is a battlefield and as Von Clausewitz said, “to secure peace is to prepare for war” and those preparations are achieved through knowing yourself.

I’d like you to know yourself much sooner rather than later, so do not allow the pressures and influences of others cloud who you are. Know your needs, your wants, likes, dislikes, limits, desires, and boundaries and remain true to those and keep your standards held high. Be open to exploration, but be true to yourself and strong enough to define, clearly, what is for you and that which is not for you.

When you find your “mo chroí” make sure she understands that she has to communicate, often, her needs and wants, because as much as you will love and adore her, that unshakable laser focus sometimes gets too focused and she needs to take your hand, crawl into your lap, and remind you that Rome was not built in a day, though she knows that you can do it in two, she still needs her Tyrant time.

Your Dynamic, Primal as it may be, isn’t about just you, it is in constant flux, ebb and flow with your girl, and your movements and actions in life must always take her in to consideration first… she will follow, make sure you lead her well.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 10

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 1:15:47 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

As far as the rush goes, if it comes, great. If it doesn't OK too. No biggie.

A stickied newcomer post might be a top notch idea anyway, however, as we have experienced for a long time, folks can't even find the obvious "Search" or even "Support" links, so finding a stickied thread might be a stretch.

As for advice to new people, mine would go as follows:

Slow the fuck down and learn something about what it is you are going to be doing. (point to book list)

There are no "True" subs, slaves, dominants... you will find varying degrees of everything, this does not mean they are not "true" they just might not fit your definition of what you think they should be. Diversity is what makes the World spin... our little corner of the World spins nicely.

Your way is not the only way there is to do something, believe this or not. Whatever makes you happiest is what works for you, it may make someone else laugh at you or they might think you should be thrown in jail. There is no "One Size Fits All" dynamic. Find what works for you, leave the rest.

If you got your ideas from porn, you might want to leave those ideas in the realm if porn. Reality is normally quite different than porn. This does not mean that bondage porn is bad, but let's face it, it's porn. Actually doing those things with another human being takes a good deal of understanding of what to do, how to do it, and lots of communication.

What we do is fun, sexy, and really enjoyable. BDSM involves more than just whips, ropes and gags, there should be a great deal of communication involved before someone lays a hand on another person. Limits should be discussed, health problems that could affect play, what is going to take place and things like that. Being prepared is only going to help you make your time more enjoyable and safe.

Check out your local scene. (insert munch list here) Getting involved in your local scene may be very helpful to you, in some cases it might not be, but you will never know unless you try. Learning from others is never a bad thing. Sometimes the lesson you get is what not to do.

OK, those were off the cuff things that came to mind.

As far as a note to my younger self:

Dear Younger Gauge,

Don't wait so fucking long to explore BDSM... you really like it.

Older Gauge

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 11

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 1:25:52 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 12

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 1:59:50 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

OK I'll bite...

Dear shifty,

What you're about to go through IS unfair and hard. Swallow your pride and ask for help sooner. Anyone who doesn't respect that, isn't your friend. Furthermore- what you were attracted to before that will be forever effected, talk to someone about it, sooner than I did. Don't start that "if I just say yes- no one can break your consent ever" stuff. Don't even go there. If you even start that bullshit, you'll struggle with it FOREVER.

Start telling your partners what you need from them. Your needs and wants actually do matter, even in this lifestyle, even if certain folks want to tell you otherwise. Stop trying to hide that you like women also. Women are awesome- its fine. Its also fine that you want more than one partner and don't feel a deep connection to monogamy. You're trying to fit a square peg into a round hole by denying those parts of yourself, let your damn freak flag fly.

Stop. dating. assholes. Despite what you are trying to prove- you're worth more than that, and its ok that you know that. You have ideals and beliefs, if your partners deny them, or try to change them, you are not fucking compatible- move on, you don't have to be so desperate. They are not right because you think you aren't allowed to be right. You are. In fact, stop allowing what others view as right, as right for you. Find your way, carve your own path, others will run into you on the same path and as hard as it is to imagine, you will not be alone forever.

However, you will be alone sometimes- so get on with your bad self and live it up.

Sincerely,
Older shifty.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 13

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 2:16:33 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

Beautiful, shifty, beautiful!!!

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 14

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 5:35:16 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

I can't do this completely seriously, it's not in my nature. But what the hell, if you can't try something new, you're dead.

Dear RU,

Stop writing like your vocabulary is your dick. Your ability to give people a new perspective, and the opportunity to grow, that's where your dick is at. Stroke your strengths, dude.

Speak less, listen more, learn more, solve less. Being that big rock that someone can hold onto for safety sometimes means letting people do things you think are wrong; the best teacher is experience, so let them get experience and be the friend, not the solution. Support and guide, that leash wasn't put in your hands so you could drag them around only on the roads you would walk.

You have a knack for seeing the good in people. Remember that when they piss you off, because yes they do have bad parts too. Like everyone else. Like you, you smug bastard. Respecting someone else's differences is respecting yourself; when in doubt, Google 'integrity'.

No one is as literal as you are. I mean that literally. So whatever flies our of their mouths, take it with a grain of their actions.

~ From Me To Me

(I have no idea what I'm doing. Do it with me, anyhow.)

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 15

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 6:02:33 PM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

Dear younger Poohbear,
Don't jump into things so fast. Ýes, you have a huge heart, but guard it carefully. Learn that because you are honest & basically a good person, not everyone is the same. They will lie, deceive, cheat & steal. Don't accept excuses, you deserve so much better. You're a smart cookie, don't let them put you down so they can shore up their insecurities.

Don't let the past decide your present or future. That's why it's in the past. Be thankful it got you where you are today. With your Mister Man, you love each other very much, you know in your heart of hearts it was meant to be. Together forever.

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

(in reply to RemoteUser)

Post #: 16

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 6:22:46 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

Dear younger and hotter camille,

Go with it, accept it. Understand that you need what you need, refusing to come to terms with it just means a long span of unhappiness. It is okay to want and need something, really it is. You're not a freak. Well.. you are but not that way. You aren't some bad terrible or warped person, you're you and that is truly a good thing. Accepting yourself with lead to confidence.

Oh and if you haven't reached the age of 19 yet, don't sleep with Sam. He isn't good for you even though dear gods in heaven the man was most excellent in bed.

Or just sleep with him once if you must, and if you can. He is delicious but just not good for you. Despite his penis size and talents. And that rock hard body of his, all that golden skin. His green eyes. That body. Just say no! But if you say yes, I will totally understand.

Love the older and wiser or maybe just older,
camille

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)

Post #: 17

RE: Anticipating the rush - 2/21/2015 7:21:18 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

PS shifty- Sean ends up being the worst, and ends up being everything you hate, his friend Tom who you don't notice until too late likes you, and is a wayyy better catch, notice Tom instead, even if he isn't a hot jock...

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 18

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