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NookieNotes -> RE: Find Friends? (3/31/2015 6:08:31 AM)
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Kirasen, I've actually done something similar to you, about 6 years back. I decided to learn how to be social. The ONE thing that helped me most is to realize that most people's favorite topic is themselves.
If you can start off a conversation with a genuine compliment or question (about something they have revealed in public), you are part of the way there.
A side benefit is that looking for something they find interesting about themselves makes you an excellent observer of humans.
Also, don't be afraid to make mistakes. You will. And a lot. Own up to them. Clarify.
For me, one thing that helped is to learn that not everyone uses words the same, so when there is a misunderstanding, I start there. Understand that no matter how stupid people may be (and many are) that YOU are responsible for how you come across. When you make a mistake, try it another way. Learn from it. Analyze it. What did you do right, what did you do wrong?
Read. As many books on human nature and psychology as you can. Learn things. Try them in real life. Keep what works for you, discard what doesn't.
I'm still learning (a lot) six years after I began. And most people who know me now would never think it is not natural to me. A few close people do know, and are there for me to turn to when I am not clear about something, but, of course, I had to make those friends, too, and let them in on my "secret."
Be ready to hurt. It will. You will. You'll make mistakes, and you'll lose friends. And it will hurt. Understand you get to hurt, because you are learning. Growing pains. Embrace it. Love the hurt. It means someone has truly touched you. Channel it into positive things. Next time, you'll make even better friends.
This is a bit long, and I'm rambling. *smiles*
If you have a specific question, feel free to ask.
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