ResidentSadist
Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: NeedAWhirlie
...........I don't know you or ResidentSadist, so i'm keeping myself reserved in manner.
I also will confess I skipped over pages 3-15 (oh, I did catch the German bit), so I deeply apologize if i'm repeating something here or missed something critical that makes my post completely irrelevant.
I'm curious, ResidentSadist, why the need for a DSM-approved definition of something someone calls a kink? I'm not going to defend from an APA perspective, because I couldn't. But I don't feel it's necessary. If I derive sexual pleasure from a certain "atypical" situation, I can call it my kink, yes? I agree that not all kinks, certainly, fall under the BDSM umbrella and sometimes it's eyeroll-provoking when BDSM seems to have gone mainstream hip and is completely misused. I think that's the case with the rise of financial domination- simple human exploitation for monetary gain.
BUT, I can personally attest to the existence of financial domination as a sexual kink. So, I'll just go ahead and open up here, something in all the years of CS(fka CM) profile journal entries I've never shared... I do derive sexual pleasure at the thought of submitting financially. So i'm presenting the other side of this coin. Now- will I sign up for a "pay tax" with some of these FinDommes advertising online? No because it's not going to be a safe reality for me. But in my fantasies, that's another story and orgasms happen. I say this, as embarrassing as I find it (not in a kinky way) to admit at large, because while I might be in a small minority, it's not a minority of one. So for the others in a similar situation as mine, I wanted to start to break down the shame of it. That's why you don't see it in person, ResidentSadist- because it's hugely embarrassing and it's never welcomed, and worse, someone like you goes on a soapbox about how it can't be real. How could that make someone like me feel? Like hiding it away, away, away and highlighting only the "acceptable" BDSM kinks I have. You could meet me in person and never, ever know this about me, so you'd go on believing this kink is not real.
So let me just clarify- no, I've never and I won't ever sign up to a FinDomme online to pay her just to pay her, but neither will I engage in any online D/s that I would consider a real relationship. But I have been in real-life D/s situations in which financial control and submission was one component of the relationship. Consensual and enjoyable.
Anyway, to me it's just another aspect of ultimate control... thank you again, MissImmortalPain.
I thank you for your reply, sharing your perspective, your fantasies and your question. However, I must correct you about your question. I never said "it can't be real" or was unacceptable. I even mention it has been "real" since the dawn of man. I also acknowledge that it can be sexy. Not everything sexy is a kink. Not every kink is fetishism or a paraphilia. And, not every paraphilia or fetish falls under the realm of BDSM. Rubbing up against strangers is a well defined fetish/paraphlia, but it isn't BDSM.
"I'm curious, ResidentSadist, why the need for a DSM-approved definition of something someone calls a kink?"
I also noticed someone else comment that the DSM isn't going to define what we do... I am afraid they have it backwards. Our behavior is studied and determines what goes in the DSM, not the other way around. Reference books like the DSM are a reflection of us. Nonetheless, I do not take the DSM as the be all/end all. But like Psychopathia Sexualis (1886) which has some out of date reasoning, it documents a wide array of human sexual behavior.
I do not doubt that somewhere in the diversity of human sexuality someone may actually be doing something new. One person doing something new probably won't make it into the journals or the DSM. However, when the nature of human sexuality has the masses participating in the same activity, it gets studied. Have we done anything new on the fetish side of human sexual behavior in the past 150 years? Hell, the Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch did a pretty good job of running the gamut in the 1700 & 1800s.
So we may "do it" with something new or in a new way, but the psychology of the act itself and sexual motivations are old and well documented. Hence my reference to the DSM. I hope you understand my reference to it because it lists all of our BDSM fetishes but financial domination in the paraphilias' section.
In quid pro quo I ask . . .
In your fantasies, is it the act of tendering money that brings you to orgasm or is it some other factor that accompanies the exchange? For example, their pleasure or reaction to receiving the money? I can wrap my head around how giving money as a service can be an extension of submission in the same way I understand financial control as an extension of domination.
I use that example because you said you wouldn't sign up for a "pay tax" with a FinDomme in real life but you have real-life D/s situations where financial control was one component of the relationship. My point is that example isn't financial domination. That is service. It isn't about the money. I wonder if you misinterpret my use of the term financial domination to mean financial control, because I do not equate them as the same.
Thank you for your participation in this thread.
_____________________________
-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.
|
RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread