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slvemike4u -> RE: Free Range Parenting (4/18/2015 9:23:45 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: crazyml
quote:
ORIGINAL: slvemike4u
quote:
ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
FR
I grew up without being beaten at all, and it never did me any harm.
You must be an anomaly [:)]
Imagine surviving one's childhood without being beaten by somebody twice your size,however did you manage learning how to cross the street ?
Ok... the last time I smacked my youngest, he was three. We were in a car park, I had told him to stay by me. I was opening the trunk of the car and he ran directly into the path of an oncoming car.
Fortunately the car stopped. I pulled him to the side and gave him a smack on the back of his thighs, telling him firmly (not shouting) that he should never run onto the road like that.
He still remembers the incident, we laughed about it a week ago.
Was that the ideal thing for me to do in that situation? You know, it probably wasn't. Should I have been better at managing him while I put the shopping away? Yeah, of course I should. Was it effective as a way of making and reinforcing the point - apparently so.
Are there better ways of handling these things, I am sure there are - But you know, I'm just a parent, trying to do his best.
Would I describe it as a "beating" - no, it was a single slap. I don't believe that I should be criminalised for doing that.
If I had beaten him, turned him black and blue, caused him lasting pain - Then yep, that crosses a line.
I know that there are parents out there that are more than capable of bringing up solid, smart, successful people (like Peon) without ever having to smack them - And I readily tip my hat to them.
I also know a few, who in their desire to produce children that are "actualised" and "whole" and "Unmarred by violence" are in the process of producing entitled little shit-bags that are going to have dreadfully unhappy lives.
Okay,I would have handled that differently....but I don't think we are far apart as far as parents are concerned.
What I read from that post is that at that point you were one scared shitless father.
Scared to hell and back about what just might have happened to your child.
In that light I sure as hell can see a reaction coming....not sure that dealing with something like that is best done till after someones heart rate returns to normal though...
I don't mean to suggest that swatting a child is a criminal offence....not in the least.
In my case it was something that I dare not do.....cause of my own upbringing.
My feelings on this are colored by being a victim myself of physical abuse....so that was ,and still is,for me a big red line that I wasn't going to cross under any conditions.
So my own sense of values colors how I look at "swatting".....I see swatting and I think abuse.
It's part and parcel of who I am.
Add to that someone coming along and telling me the Bible says it's okay my mind jumps top ASSHOLE(still does....lol)
But other that the silly Bible justification I would like to walk back some of the other comments about swatting...I don't like it,I don't condone it ,but no....swatting does not equal abuse(unless of course you are using the bible to justify it ,than IMO you've gone slightly around the bend )
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