From: Western MD
Vaaa..nilla? Common you made that up ;p
Think about it, are you or anyone else you know doing BDSM all day and night long? What are you the rest of the time? You're doing vanilla stuff, going to work, playing video games, visiting friends and family, cooking, cleaning and doing your laundry (presumably).
Some D/s couples are raising families, attending PTA meetings, taking their kids to soccer practice or to ballet class. The difference between those who don't identify as switches is that these couples have D/s protocols in place. They ordinarily don't go around "exploring" their recessive Dominant side or their recessive submissive side, and they don't want to.
I have a switch friend who leads in his LTR with his sub lover. His partner prefers for him to take charge of most of the decision-making, and to lead their relationship. He, on the other hand, wants his partner to have an equal voice and an equal say-so in everything they do and plan together as a couple.
He also happens to be a sadomasochist, but leans more toward maso, so when they are intimate, his sub takes on the service Top role of a sadist more often than not. Sub partner is not maso, which they both accepted years ago.
As a switch I am often asked whether I am more on the dominant side or submissive side and in this instance you both seem to identify within that scale being more D types that switch in their activities. For me it depends on what chemistry lay between my partners and I that defines my dynamics with them so I don feel the need to place myself within that dichotomy as I incorporate both often. So here were have an identitifable continuum where some people lean as D type or S type and those in between.
My question is about the inclination to define switches in terms of Dominant and submissive behavior/ activity. Is it entirely definable between those two points or does it extend beyond them?
Satyr, this has to do with BDSM scening and has more to do with Topping and bottoming. They could probably care less what you do outside of that. Pick a split you feel comfortable with, or don't if it makes you feel pigeonholed. If you can't decide, you can say half & half or 50/50, that it's about equal, but it's really just a guestimate to give others some form of reference point to wrap their minds around.
For example, I am a Domme-leaning switch who isn't sadistic. I don't consider myself a Top the way that a sadistic Top might, but I don't do BDSM kink bottoming either or less than 5% averaged. I have some fetish paraphilia to one extent or another, but if I had to categorize myself, it would be as a bedroom Dominant. Plus, extending outside the bedroom also. I could possibly go with a 75/25 D/s split overall, but that wouldn't be accurate for me as a T/b split. (I know, it gets confusing.)