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what should I know - 5/25/2015 3:09:24 AM   
HmNaya


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I am trying to find out what are the things someone should know before entering a relationship of this kind I have never had anything to do with this but I have been talking to someone who lives this lifestyle and now I am trying to find out all I would need to know before trying this relationship out thank you for any help
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RE: what should I know - 5/25/2015 10:57:36 AM   
WellShinedBoots


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The most common answer I see come up is "Read the books." Personally I've only read the first three of 30 or so, but I'm also a kink/leather scene guy just starting to look into Gor. The others need not wait long.

There seems to be a few different directions that get focused on. There is the philosophy that underlies the books on one end (Self-dependence, survival of the fit, etc.), and role play stuff over on the other (in this simplification I'm using role play to mean any outward expression of specific activities within the books). In my opinion "lifestyle" Gorean is probably a mix, sitting somewhere in between, utilizing the philosophy as the foundation and adding in the role details as a fun, romantic connection to the world described in the books. Of course, these outward expressions may have very deep meaning to the individual, and due to it's fake implications "role play" might not be the best description.

How your particular relationship will play out will depend on yourself, the person you're starting the relationship with, and the type of relationship you are pursuing. The Master/kajira (slave) relationship may be the most commonly discussed Gorean relationship. If the books are followed literally, this basically gives the (presumably male) Master full ownership of the slave and her life. (Male slaves also exist, though they tend to get forgotten about seems like). The free companion is an option that is less slave-like, and a man can only have one woman as a free companion (but as many slaves as he can afford). Gor is an openly male-dominated world, so referring to a free companion as a true equal probably isn't all that accurate. If these two don't speak to you, there are other options, but that's getting outside the first three books and I think I'll defer to a scribe with more knowledge on the subject.

If you plan to have a lot of visible Gorean expression in this relationship, here's my initial advise:
1. Stretch. There is a lot of kneeling, dancing, and such. I tried to read the third book while sitting cross legged - my legs fell asleep. I feel for Parp.
2. Dance lessons. I imagine Gorean dancing to be similar to belly dancing, except with more sex. If you take up belly dancing, buy some quality zills, not those $5 toys.
3. Learn to cook - especially meat. The average Gorean steak apparently weighs in around 10 pounds, which sounds awesome. I think I'll have steak later today now too.

There's what I know, and I'll be reading other's responses same as you. Until then, more wine!



(in reply to HmNaya)
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RE: what should I know - 5/25/2015 4:15:40 PM   
UllrsIshtar


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The single advice I'd have for you considering this type of collar is that you ought to realize, to your core, and accept, in full, that as a Gorean kajira, you will be actually viewed as a chattel slave. NOT as a "slave in the BDSM context of thing, who agreed to pretend some of their rights don't exist for the duration of the relationship" but as a class of human being whom morally has no claim to rights, regardless of whether society grants them or not".

You will be viewed as genuinely different than your owner, in a way that Westerners would perceive as being 'less then' (though Goreans wouldn't tend to describe it in those terms, instead merely acknowledging it as 'different than').

Think class differences in Victorian Britain, between the ruling class, and the poor, and how the aristocracy genuinely believed they were naturally distinct and superior to their servants.
Think colonial slavery, and how the white plantation owners genuinely believed they were genetically preordained to own and rule anybody with a darker skin than their own.

Goreans think that way about the distinction between those who are naturally inclined to be free, and those who are naturally inclined to be slaves. Declaring yourself a slave in the presents of a Gorean Free (or being owned by one) will make then actually put you in a different class of human being as themselves.
You will not be seen as "an-equal-human-being-who-has-merely-chosen-to-submit" as most of the BDSM community sees slavery.

Presuming a Western upbringing, this will be something you're completely unprepared and unfamiliar with. It will evoke very strong emotions, most of them very negative, unless/until you can accept that, unlike in Western thinking, this class distinction doesn't express a negative value judgement in and off itself. (Instead of Western mentalities, the Gorean value judgements lay in how well you express all facets of yourself in line with the class you naturally belong to, which is backwards from how you're probably used to thinking about such things.)

If the path of acknowledging yourself to be a different class of human than your owner is one you're unwilling to take, and your kneejerk reaction to that idea is one of anger, instead of fearful recognition, I'd advice you to stay away from anything that even remotely looks like a Gorean collar.

If it is something you're willing to embark on, then the only thing you should know before entering a collar is that -considering the fact that you are entering into a relationship with a person who morally sees you as 'rightless' instead of as somebody merely 'giving up rights'- you will be completely at his mercy and his whim.
There is no point to trying to guess, speculate, or anticipate, what your life with him will look like, because he may change what he wants from you at any time.
Focus merely on being exquisitely beautiful and absolutely obedient in everything you do instead.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to WellShinedBoots)
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RE: what should I know - 5/25/2015 9:46:45 PM   
HmNaya


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Thank you for you time and response it helped a lot

(in reply to WellShinedBoots)
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RE: what should I know - 5/26/2015 1:03:59 PM   
Musicmystery


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HmNaya

I am trying to find out what are the things someone should know before entering a relationship of this kind I have never had anything to do with this but I have been talking to someone who lives this lifestyle and now I am trying to find out all I would need to know before trying this relationship out thank you for any help

It's not so complicated.

Pretty much, do what you'd do before entering any other kind of relationship.

(in reply to HmNaya)
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RE: what should I know - 9/6/2015 8:55:39 PM   
spatejak


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"Think class differences in Victorian Britain, between the ruling class, and the poor, and how the aristocracy genuinely believed they were naturally distinct and superior to their servants.
Think colonial slavery, and how the white plantation owners genuinely believed they were genetically preordained to own and rule anybody with a darker skin than their own."

Except that historically the lower orders never really accepted their lot. Thy ran away, revolted, formed trade unions, joined the Labour Party, etc. On Gor, slaves, especially kajarae, come to the realization that slavery is part of their nature. That's never been true on Earth.

< Message edited by spatejak -- 9/6/2015 8:57:00 PM >

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
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RE: what should I know - 9/6/2015 9:41:49 PM   
Kirata


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From: USA
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To add to what Ishtar posted, I'll just to say that owners vary. If she's a good cook, I'll be inclined to tell her she can set up the kitchen anyway she likes and ask if there's anything she would like to have. I have few preferences in this area, and enjoy good food prepared by joyful cook. If I like her taste in clothes, I may have little to interject in the matter of her selections except perhaps a "yeah no, not that" now and then. It will vary with your owner, of course. Where I have preferences and tastes, I will expect her to learn them and hew to them. But there is no advantage in treating a good girl like dirt, and much to be said for having a happy slave around the house.

K.








< Message edited by Kirata -- 9/6/2015 9:43:35 PM >

(in reply to HmNaya)
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RE: what should I know - 9/23/2016 10:44:44 AM   
Live2Learn


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After reading this thread, I am interested in "sampling" one of those 30 Gorean books someone spoke about above.

If I initially plan on reading only one, which would it be?

(in reply to Kirata)
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RE: what should I know - 9/27/2016 2:46:54 PM   
eliseobeys


Posts: 68
Joined: 5/5/2014
From: Born in Lebanon but raised all over.
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I pray you find what your looking for.

I started with a self started Gorean couple (where the wife got her husband to act on the aspects of the M/s relationship of his books that appealed to her). After they were stationed overseas I quickly progressed to other areas of the bdsm lifestyle for many years rather then seek out another "Gorean" as many who I met who called themselves such had appeared to have missed the proverbial forest for a tree or two in Normans work.

I have been collared now by my Gorean Husband since 2006.

Imaginative sex as well as several areas in the Gor series where Norman explains how Goreans would act while on earth will serve you well. You will learn a great deal more however if you actively participate in your local bdsm community at munches and other gatherings as well instead of only seeking out "Goreans" for your information concerning bdsm lifestyles.

Always remember in your search that things must be consensual and sane. The Goreans in the books have their own laws, but this is after all Earth. You always will have the rights afforded by the law and can always end or leave any arrangement you have made as such.

Safety first...kink second will serve you well.


_____________________________

"The pride of a free woman is the pride of a woman who feels herself to be the equal of a man.
The pride of the slave girl is the pride of the girl who knows that no other woman is the equal of herself.' "

(in reply to Live2Learn)
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RE: what should I know - 9/27/2016 3:08:46 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
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Read Slavegirl of Gor.

(in reply to eliseobeys)
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