The good Slave

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

The good Slave

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> The good Slave

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

The good Slave - 7/28/2015 11:54:34 AM

treedcat

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline

Hello all
i am currently under consideration and close to being on probation.
My concern is that through the early part of the relationship i have shown a tendency to inject my opinion rather than do what i am told
This can be little things such as recently on a shopping trip being told to get a cart whereupon i ask do we need a cart?
i am not trying to be wilful or anything it just spills out of my mouth.
This will be my first experience as a slave and i want to be worthy of my mistress who feels i am too cocky when actually i am trying to avoid being a doormat and be fun for Her.It often happens when we are working on something together and i feel closer to her relationship wise and my subconscious begins to see us as equals

Can anyone offer some advice to a newbie that will help me become a better slave?

Thank You in advance
ian

Post #: 1

RE: The good Slave - 7/28/2015 1:04:32 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

Is she complaining about you doing this?

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to treedcat)

Post #: 2

RE: The good Slave - 7/28/2015 1:08:32 PM

treedcat

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline

My Mistress does not feel it is appropriate to question her decision for example the shopping cart situation where she pointed out what i had done (we did need a cart)
i am fortunate that she has chosen not to discipline me over these types of infractions as i have spoken out of turn on a number of occasions

< Message edited by treedcat -- 7/28/2015 1:13:41 PM >

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 3

RE: The good Slave - 7/28/2015 1:38:53 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

How are you fortunate that she's not disciplining you? If she doesn't care enough to train you not to do it, why is she complaining to begin with?

As far as what you can do to change it... in my opinion nothing, because you have no motivation to change.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to treedcat)

Post #: 4

RE: The good Slave - 7/28/2015 2:05:38 PM

treedcat

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline

i am fortunate that she has not disciplined me because i am not enthusiastic about the pain aspect .
i want to be a good slave for Mistress and i am sure that i will make mistakes as we progress and that i will be punished as a corrective technique, what i want is to improve myself so that i am less troublesome.
Should i just keep my mouth shut in all situations ?

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 5

RE: The good Slave - 7/28/2015 3:48:45 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

Does she want you to keep your mouth shut in all situations?

You cannot master yourself. You cannot submit to yourself.

Either she lays down her expectations in a way that motivates you to follow them or you're not going to be able to change because you won't have the motivation to do so.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to treedcat)

Post #: 6

RE: The good Slave - 7/28/2015 4:00:41 PM

InHisHeart

Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline

You can improve yourself by thinking before questioning her. Ask yourself if this is something worth questioning her about, something you should speak up about, if not, then don't. The shopping cart example, it didn't matter if a cart was needed or not, if one item or fifty items were being bought, she told you get a cart, there was no reason to question her.

If she tells you get the boat ready, she wants to go out on the lake but you know a T-storm is brewing and it'll be dangerous going out on the lake, it's time to speak up.

Although we do have a discipline dynamic, it's rare when he disciplines me. He'll talk to me about whatever it was that he didn't like or approve of and he knows that will be the end of it, more often than not I won't repeat it. If I do happen to repeat (which is rare but some old habits die hard), that's when he'll discipline.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.

(in reply to treedcat)

Post #: 7

RE: The good Slave - 7/28/2015 7:24:11 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You don't say how old the relationship is. If you're new to each other, if you don't live together, if you go shopping once a month with her and ten times on your own, then it is only natural that you need a longer learning curve. It takes a month to learn a new habit if it's done the new way every single time.

The more you don't do it, the longer it will take to internalize these habits. I'm not big on punishment, I prefer him to simply raise an eyebrow, repeat what he wants, and have me do it again his way. No guilt, no tears, no big brouhaha. Just another time doing it his way, which eventually does become habitual.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to InHisHeart)

Post #: 8

RE: The good Slave - 7/28/2015 7:39:11 PM

bamabbwsub

Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

~FR~

Not all punishments are about physical pain.

Perhaps she's giving you some latitude because she knows that this is new to you. Perhaps small infractions like that aren't a big enough deal to her to warrant discipline.

Maybe you should ask her for ideas to help you be a better slave. At least then she would know that it's important to you to be the best you can be, even when you slip.

Best of luck to you!

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 9

RE: The good Slave - 7/28/2015 7:56:16 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: treedcat

i am fortunate that she has not disciplined me because i am not enthusiastic about the pain aspect .

If you are enthusiastic about punishment, it's not punishment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: treedcat
i want to be a good slave for Mistress and i am sure that i will make mistakes as we progress and that i will be punished as a corrective technique, what i want is to improve myself so that i am less troublesome.
Should i just keep my mouth shut in all situations ?

If I were in a relationship with I had to keep my mouth shut in all situations, I would be completely bored. Listen, a BDSM relationship is still a relationshio. Forget about labels. Forget about how a slave is "supposed" to act. Forget about coming here and asking other people to figure out your relationship.

Talk to your mistress as if she were not a "mistress" but a human being. Explain your challenges, your wish to please, and sound out what she thinks. If you can't talk on that level, you're going to crash and burn at some point anywhere because you're not building a foundation based on truth and reality.

(in reply to treedcat)

Post #: 10

RE: The good Slave - 7/29/2015 12:17:43 AM

daniel1973

Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality
If you are enthusiastic about punishment, it's not punishment.

Shocking! But to tell you the truth, Master and I had to experiment a long time to come up with something that isn't brutal but not too easy to take either.

(in reply to seekingreality)

Post #: 11

RE: The good Slave - 7/29/2015 4:33:49 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Does your Mistress not have a 'laser look of doom?'

*I* do. I also have a 'tone.' My boy knows when he gets the look or the tone (or worse yet, the look WITH the tone) he needs to back off pronto.

B/c he is a bit of a brat. I like a little brattiness and the last thing I want is someone so afraid of me they can't be themselves. I would NOT tolerate, however, someone who would constantly question my judgement. Asking if you really need a cart is questioning her judgement.

Stop that.

Then ask yourself why you do it. Do you not trust her to lead you? Trust takes time to build, in a new relationship, it may take weeks or even months before trust filters down in all aspects of your life.

Also ask yourself: Are you questioning her judgement in order to be punished? You say you don't like it, but do you need it, somewhere deep inside? If so, then work with her (respectfully) to establish a dynamic that includes regular punishment. AND try to work out why you feel you need it. You don't need a therapist for this. Just talk to yourself. Do some self reflection and try to figure out what's going on in your own head.

Best, CP

_____________________________

(in reply to treedcat)

Post #: 12

RE: The good Slave - 7/29/2015 8:47:58 AM

treedcat

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline

Thank you everyone for your valuable input.
There are lots of points to consider.
i believe the change will come from within and i believe i can do it
At the very least i can be better for my Mistress and in time i will be the slave she expects me to be.
As of last night i gave her my oath and i am now on probation so i will shortly be closing my profile.

ian

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 13

RE: The good Slave - 7/29/2015 2:51:01 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I frequently ask The Man if he doesn't need a cart in Home Depot because he'll say he only wants to pick up a few things. Experience has taught me that after a few, it becomes too heavy to juggle and then I get sent back for a cart.

If she's saying you're just going to run in for milk, then I can understand the confusion. Because if that really is all she's getting, then no, you don't need a cart to grab a quart. I'm betting she stops when she needs milk (or coffee or whatever) but doesn't actually mean that's all she'll get. And has learned that groceries tend to accumulate.

Once you know her better, you shouldn't be taking her so literally in these circumstances and will be more aware of what's likely to happen.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to treedcat)

Post #: 14

RE: The good Slave - 7/30/2015 5:45:05 AM

daniel1973

Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Does your Mistress not have a 'laser look of doom?'

My boy knows when he gets the look or the tone (or worse yet, the look WITH the tone) he needs to back off pronto.

What on earth is that (I mean the laser thing, I have a suspicion but)?
My master taps me slightly on the leg to let me know that everything is alright.
He can certainly give me "the look" but he prefers not to if it isn't necessary.

"The look" and "the tone" combined would certainly be the prelude to something very painful.

< Message edited by daniel1973 -- 7/30/2015 6:14:13 AM >

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 15

RE: The good Slave - 7/30/2015 6:27:33 AM

daniel1973

Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Once you know her better, you shouldn't be taking her so literally in these circumstances and will be more aware of what's likely to happen.

That applies to my buddies as well. "No I don't want to eat thank you." Guess for whom I order a Pizza anyway and who eats them.

But I know what you want to say ... if my master weren't mean every once in a while ("Well Danny you wanted to be a slave! Do you feel like it yet?") I would suspect that he would not know me at all.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 16

RE: The good Slave - 7/30/2015 9:11:51 AM

bislutdave

Posts: 15
Joined: 1/11/2015
Status: offline

I don't understand why you would question something as minor as a cart. It isn't a major item you are being asked to do, I have pushed a empty cart thru a store many a time or just have one item in it. If you are in a following role in a relationship trust the person you are with. Let that trust grow from the small items such as pushing a cart even if you don't see the need , and grow from there.

dave

(in reply to daniel1973)

Post #: 17

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> The good Slave

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094