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US law and domestic violence victims with children - 8/8/2015 10:58:32 AM

defiantbadgirl

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An ex co-worker of mine was in a relationship with a real psycho. When she was in training, he would call every hour to check up on her. He even showed up and tried to get her to leave work because he didn't want to watch their children. I asked her if he was violent toward her. She said yes he was. She then told me she had family in another state and asked if I thought she should take the children and flee. I still think about her from time to time and hope she's okay. But the situation lead me to look up what options domestic violence victims who share children with their abusers have. Using common sense, the further one flees from the abuser, the safer one is. But victims who share children with their abuser can't even leave the state or they could go to prison for kidnapping. Victims of domestic violence who have children can go to prison for "failure to protect," but they're not allowed to move far enough away to do that. Women have the option of fleeing with their children to battered women's shelters, but that's for a very limited amount of time. Men who are victims of domestic violence don't even have that option. How do you tell someone who has children with a non-consentual abuser the law won't let them flee far enough away to be safe?

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RE: US law and domestic violence victims with children - 8/9/2015 6:22:01 AM

MercTech

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And the legal precedents that show the police are under no obligation to protect the individual came from just such a situation.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/28/politics/justices-rule-police-do-not-have-a-constitutional-duty-to-protect-someone.html?_r=0
http://www.policechiefmagazine.org/magazine/index.cfm?fuseaction=display_arch&article_id=341&issue_id=72004

You can actually phrase it in an overly simplistic way by saying "the purpose of police is vengeance and retribution; not protection".

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RE: US law and domestic violence victims with children - 8/9/2015 8:22:27 AM

Sanity

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In my state children whose parents have no custody agreement may be with either parent. One parent may take the children and hide out, because there is no decree against that until a divorce / legally binding custody agreement.

In other words, without a decree, whoever has the children, has custody in that situation. Is there already a decree in that case? Or are the laws there different?

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RE: US law and domestic violence victims with children - 8/9/2015 11:37:23 AM

MercTech

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In Virginia, when I got divorced, the woman automatically had custody. And, to quote my lawyer, "What you have to bring up to get custody away from a mother in this state will get your kids put in foster care because you are an unfit parent if you knew about it and took no action."

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RE: US law and domestic violence victims with children - 8/10/2015 9:21:56 AM

tweakabelle

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
. But victims who share children with their abuser can't even leave the state or they could go to prison for kidnapping. Victims of domestic violence who have children can go to prison for "failure to protect," but they're not allowed to move far enough away to do that.

Please don't think that I am doubting your words but I am more than a tad surprised to hear that women fleeing violent partners could be charged with kidnapping. At first glance it does seem astonishing.

Could you please elaborate on this for me so that I can understand it properly? Thanks

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RE: US law and domestic violence victims with children - 8/10/2015 12:40:52 PM

defiantbadgirl

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It's illegal and considered kidnapping for one parent to leave the state with the child(ren) without the consent of the other parent. Even if the victim has the money to hire an attorney and go to court, emergency custody so the victim can legally leave the state with the children is only temporary. The victim will soon have to face the abuser in family court. Even with evidence of domestic violence, there's a chance the abuser will be awarded visitation rights with the children. If the abuser has only been violent toward the other parent and not toward the children, unsupervised visitation is likely.

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