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RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 10:55:01 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
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Raven:That is encouraging to hear. Going to work on it.

Archer: It is encouraging to not hear someone completely romanticize the D/s and who values not segregating (pink/blue) skills.

And to whoever said they hire a cleaning person: Good for you! I agree if one works 50 hours a week it may be unrealisitc for a Dominant to expect them to come home and scrub the floors and cook meals, and do everything else (Over half the housewives in the U.S. seem to do this now, and they are irritated, let me tell you). I like domestic stuff, and service, but I also like getting adequate rest, and not running myself down to a shadow or wisp of my former self from complete, haggardly overwork, which might end up (ultimately) serving nobody well.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/17/2006 11:14:46 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 61

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 10:59:13 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

amayos: As usual, I really appreciate and value your frank, diplomatic and intelligent and well-written comments. More food for thought. Thank you very much. This has been very helpful.

I really, really appreciate what people have said. I need time to digest all of this.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/17/2006 11:13:31 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 62

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 10:59:56 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

And what you lable as D/s and what I do probably don't match either. Not that it matters given you do what you do well over there and I do what I do over here, never the twain shall meet and I get the feeling that its definatly 'for the best'

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to SexyRed)

Post #: 63

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:03:43 AM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

And what you lable as D/s and what I do probably don't match either. Not that it matters given you do what you do well over there and I do what I do over here, never the twain shall meet and I get the feeling that its definatly 'for the best'

Oh yes indeed, I am quite positive it would definitely be for the BEST that we never meet. I have no respect for someone who when faced with different attitudes, decides to respond with a put down. Smacks of insecurity and is quite offensive.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 64

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:07:26 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

P.S. Susan, I don't think it sounds "boring" to list those types of service on one's profile either.
The more info the better!

(in reply to SexyRed)

Post #: 65

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:11:00 AM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Our view of what a power exchange is differs then because if you give me your power you have naturally less than I do you may recieve in return an equal value of something else but it isn't power.

I may be mis reading you you may be misreading me, we may simply be talking crosswise to the same idea and not communicating well.

In Leather

Archer

Archer, that is very interesting. What if I have a power exchange with someone who is less powerful than me on every level but physical? What does that say? I have had some very interesting power exchanges with Dominants who were less powerful in many ways but the exchanges were always interesting and many times incredible.

You may be correct in that we are not communicating well, but therein lies the problem of online communications. I do agree to respect your opinion, as I hope you would mine or anyone else's. My issue lies in the offensive comments that abound when differing viewpoints are stated.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 66

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:12:15 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

popeye: Thanks for the reply, and the complement (back at you!). Condos are great, arent' they?

This thread has been very valuable for me to read and I am going to continue to check back if anyone else write in and thanks to all.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 67

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:15:35 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed
Oh yes indeed, I am quite positive it would definitely be for the BEST that we never meet. I have no respect for someone who when faced with different attitudes, decides to respond with a put down. Smacks of insecurity and is quite offensive.

Petal your type isn't the only type here that I have no interest in. I have almost as little intrest in bedroom only tosh as I have for online only, doesn't bother me as I'm not going to be getting involved with one of them. It was a statement of fact, you want to see it as a put down... feel free but don't try to palm off your insecuritys on me dear, they don't fit!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to SexyRed)

Post #: 68

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:19:40 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Susan, i think you are doing yourself a dis-service to be thinking of your profile as some thing you want to appeal to the masses.

allow it to be the poetry of your person, what is important to you, and why....now maybe that will narrow the field a little but that is a good thing, this time your life partnership will be of your own design, claim that beautiful power that we all see in you....

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 69

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:21:29 AM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed
Oh yes indeed, I am quite positive it would definitely be for the BEST that we never meet. I have no respect for someone who when faced with different attitudes, decides to respond with a put down. Smacks of insecurity and is quite offensive.

Petal your type isn't the only type here that I have no interest in. I have almost as little intrest in bedroom only tosh as I have for online only, doesn't bother me as I'm not going to be getting involved with one of them. It was a statement of fact, you want to see it as a put down... feel free but don't try to palm off your insecuritys on me dear, they don't fit!

Please refrain from using your UK endearments, Petal? Please, spare me from your attempts at condescension.

And try and take ownership of the way you communicate online. I am not in the least bit insecure, DEAR, read what you wrote above. You state that it would be best for us not to meet as if I or anyone else would have the slightest interest in meeting you.

It is called OFFENSIVE, not a statement of fact. No one asked if it would be good for us to meet. So, try and learn some manners before you speak to a lady.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 70

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:23:26 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I value that comment crouching tigress - maybe more than you know. Thank you.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 71

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:26:54 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

i think i do...

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I value that comment crouching tigress - maybe more than you know. Thank you.

- Susan

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 72

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:36:10 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Hey Susan,

Just wanted to let you know that while I haven't read my profile in a while, I'm fairly certain that I talk about washing dishes, doing laundry, cooking and paying taxes .. and as I recall, no one ever wrote to me and told me it was boring. They have written to me and told me it was too long. ::laughs::

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 73

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:52:56 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Raven:That is encouraging to hear. Going to work on it.

Archer: It is encouraging to not hear someone completely romanticize the D/s and who values not segregating (pink/blue) skills.

And to whoever said they hire a cleaning person: Good for you! I agree if one works 50 hours a week it may be unrealisitc for a Dominant to exzpect them to come home and scrub the floors and cook meals, and do eveything else (O(ver half the housewives in the U.S. seem to do this now, and they are irritated, let me tell you). I like domestic stuff, and service, but I also like getting adequate rest, and not running myself down to a shadow or wisp of my former self from complete, haggardly overwork, which might end up (ultimately) serving nobody well.

- Susan

Hello again Susan,

This sums up the whole difficulty with the *search*(especially online) for a D/s partner...... Everything you write may be accurate with the *way things are/ the way you envisage things now* ......but nothing you write will be a substitute for just getting to know someone as a person or a friend.

Is it important to YOU to offer these things?......They may make up a lot of what motivates you, what pleasures you, they may be things you'd like to be ABLE to execute, things you have a certain amount of pride in.

You'll be seen and appreciated for exactly who you are, over time.

Regards, agirl

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 74

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 11:54:54 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I remember reading your profile long ago, Bita, and it was anything but boring. I am going to read it again.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/17/2006 11:55:14 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 75

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 12:02:14 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

agirl: Well, yeah it's important to me to offer them - because I do feel I am good at them and want someone who values them. I offer other things, too, besides those,
But - maybe it's because I have so many vanilla friends, and dated a long while in the vanilla world (albeit years ago), and - because my subscription to Redbook and Ladies Home Journal magazines keep printing articles that, even though they are in business partly because there are still women who value things like domestic service, hint that you're not quite "modern enough" if you actually enjoy it. But I got a feeling it was somehow passe'.

Even though I had a gut feeling that many in the bdsm world might appreciate those kinds of things, I wanted to reality-test my instincts there.

Thanks to everyone whos answered, btw.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/17/2006 12:03:13 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 76

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 12:09:09 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed
So, try and learn some manners before you speak to a lady.

Petal, I am sure I would where there a LADY involved

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to SexyRed)

Post #: 77

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 12:26:09 PM

DoctorDubious

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

The hardest part for me is talking about what I want. It's not that I don't know. I do know (at least have a vague "outline"). I seem to be afraid I will 1) Scare some people away 2) Offend someone.

So that would make a difference, if I just knew that if someone threatened me, a Dominant or Master would "take care of them" (pick your own method) and I wouldn't have to worry about feeling terrified.

I keep thinking I will hurt someone if I lean on them (but I want to be able to do just that). Thanks for listening, everyone - ya'll on this here thread can send me your bills in the mail

- Susan

>>The hardest part for me is talking about what I want. It's not that I don't know. I do know (at least have a vague "outline"). I seem to be afraid I will 1) Scare some people away 2) Offend someone.

#1. G-d told me once, in a dream...

"I'll give you what you want in life,
just make up your frickin mind and get clear about it..."

#2. If it scares 'em away, the chickenshits aren't good enough for you anyways.

#3. If being clear about your desires offends their delicate sensitivities...
then you've avoided a lot of prisssy whiners.

>>So that would make a difference, if I just knew that if someone threatened me, a Dominant or Master would "take care of them" (pick your own method) and I wouldn't have to worry about feeling terrified.

Isn't a key part of the surrender/leader dynamic
an agreement to protect you and lead you ....
in exchange for your submissive service?

>>I keep thinking I will hurt someone if I lean on them (but I want to be able to do just that).

.... Jeeezuz... stop leaning on saplings and find yourself a big mature oak.

DD

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 78

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 12:34:19 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Thank you. Yes, I did date a wuss (or even two), in my time. I don't get off on people getting beat up or anything (I dislike physical and even heavy verbal confrontation) but I really do need to feel protected - and I've never had that (I am sure my own dad would protect me, but he never had to do that - he is the exception to that I guess. I don't have any "issues" with my dad - I had and have a truly wonderul father and am so lucky that way). I think I do have a clear out-line of what I want (I do).

I will become more specific after I think in more detail. Thanks for bringing up that I need to list my needs, too (I keep forgetting that, and am used to having to "sell myself" for some reason, no kidding) - it was a very pertinent point you brought up, and I appreciate it immensely, Doctor. crouching tigress mentioned this as well.
You are so helpful. Thank you.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/17/2006 12:41:21 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to DoctorDubious)

Post #: 79

RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 12:39:02 PM

DoctorDubious

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

allow it to be the poetry of your person

There it is in 9 perfect words.

DD

PS, a good writer/thinker finishes strong.
She did that too....
>>claim that beautiful power that we all see in you....

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 80

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