I like bootpigs way of getting active
(the slave is a great bootblack)
hence I have choosen to post some
of the words here for the masses to
read with permission.
she is slave, girl, boy, pig, wench,
swampwhore
ms. Olympus Leather 2003.

quote:

Finding a Competent Sadist

I'm not talking about forever-Master, cherished Owner - I'm talking the brass tacks of bottoming to genius and skill. It could be you'll end up in service to that person anyway, or it could be you're looking for something else, but playing on the Sadist's field means educating yourself.

a. Figure out WHY you want to hunt one. Hunting wolverines is a bad thing if you just stumble upon one accidentally. You may find yourself unprepared and overwhelmed. Do you want one that will bond with you and your partner, providing an SM mentorship? Are you looking to explore new techniques without involving wedding rings or collars? Are you looking to belong to a sadist that really doesn't exercise influence elsewhere in your life? Do you need to belong to a sadist that also finds a way to feed your service needs? It is impossible to ask someone to meet needs that you can't even identify, so this is a valuable part of learning to play as a consenting adult. It is not enough to just show up and be willing.

b. Now sit down and DEFINE sadist as it refers to you. No "should-a" "would-a" stuff but as it works for you. A sadist that firmly believes you're meat and can be played with at will may not jive with your interpretation that you'd like scheduled play so you have time to prepare yourself for having limits stretched and pushed. A sadist that thinks a limits list is more like wish list of things to fuck with, might not coordinate with your idea that you give the permissions in the scene and they need to go along with it. A sadist that thinks the bottom can never initiate play might not work with your visions of instigating and encouraging play (Sure wouldn't work with mine). Think about how hard is hard. A sadist can quickly go leaps and bounds over what we thought was an erotic little push. Be sure you're not confusing Top or Dom with sadist. Its not a better than thing, its an awareness thing. Not all Tops are sadists, not all sadists are quality Tops or Dominants. This is where defining what you wanted to hunt will come in handy.

Remember, once you define what it is you're looking for, it doesn't make everyone else wrong. It just makes them something you're not ready for or interested in right now. Don't get too attached to your definition. Have some fun, write it down, and revisit it in a year or two to see how your definition has expanded.

c. So you've figured all that out. Hopefully you have a local group. Ask for references. Who they learned from. See what names come up again and again (especially if you're really looking to explore technique). Yes I know, not everyone does the public scene. And that's fine, but if you're looking for sadists - not boyfriends, fuzzy Tops, potential partners, soul mates - but sadists, then references are a handy thing. If they don't have "community" references, then perhaps play partner references. If they are a "sadist" with no former play partners, and no community involvement, then how exactly did that definition of sadist get formed? Knowing that they're a sadist online is not knowing that they can maintain their headspace the first time a bottom collapses incoherently begging for mercy at their feet. A big red flag for me is people that never have continuing relationships, even basic civil ones, with their former partners.

Here's one people forget. NETWORK. Sadists hang around with other sadists. Bottoms that dig sadists hang around together too. Don't overlook people that have partners already, because they DO know other people. If you have no idea where to look, then start looking at your local munch or group. Personally, I've asked complete strangers that were leaders in their community for play references and had a divine time with who they matched me up with. (this will work for finding those fun loving bottoms that can hang in there with you too and not stalk you later)

d. This one will be tough. Know who you are as a bottom. Have your ego in check. If you have no experience, you might not be ready for a sadist. If you've explored light floggings, and some rope work, you might not be ready for a sadist. Even if you think you MIGHT be the biggest pain pig to ever grace the planet, if you haven't explored it, then slow down some. Sadists are not "dangerous Tops" to warn the world about because you bit off more than you could chew. Educate yourself as a bottom. I hate seeing SM workshops with a majority of Tops in attendance because its technique, and uber-bottoms don't need technique since they don't have a Top bone in their bottom. You DO need technique. You need to know when its right, when its natural, when its forced, and how to spot a Dominant that is scared of their own toybag (Yup, they're out there). If you're at the workshop, raise your hand, volunteer, feel it if the instructor allows. When we teach, Sir works individually with every Top present on the technique, and I work individually with every bottom present on how to bottom to that particular sensation, and then EVERYONE gets a chance to try it. Nice, controlled environment to get a feel for body percussion, or singletails, or needles. You are not going to hell for trying out a singletail without being in love, or collared, or in lust.

If you're at a party and see someone with a technique you admire, go talk to them (or ask for an introduction if you're shy). This can be a bit of a land mine. I believe in talking to someone directly. And I've never had issue with a proper introduction, sincere questions about technique, etc. But I have seen/heard of people dealing with slaves/subs at a psychotic level because they weren't asked, basically for permission, first before approaching their Dominant (possessive, theirs). I'm not talking about poaching and hey baby let's meet later on - but honest conversation. If you're one of those bottoms that gets psychotic, stop it. You're lucky you have a top that other people admire and want to learn from, stop being so petulant about it. If you have any faith in your Top, just shut up and smile. If you have a monogamous agreement with them, they're going to honor. If you have a poly agreement and they want to play with said person, well you had fair warning up front. If you choose this route, lay off the fawning submissive crap. Be upfront and intelligent. "Thank you for taking a moment to speak with me, I noticed the fire play you were doing, and I haven't done that yet, would you mind explaining the technique to me?" That's it. No flirty stuff, no poaching, no asking to play. Just discussion. It will leave the ball in their court to explain or to explain and offer demo or to just form a new friendship
linda “bootpig” hall, ms. Olympus Leather 2003