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Looking for a mentor - 9/16/2015 2:49:48 PM

Chaser88

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/10/2015
Status: offline

Perhaps, this is not the right place, and if it is not, I am sorry. Hi, my name is Chase and I am 27 from Louisville, KY. I have been in the lifestyle for about a year and a half, and I have had some experience (with a relationship). I have been reading online and I am seeking a mentor that is patient and knows about being a daddy/dom or just a dom.

If you think you can help me please message me. Thanks in advance.

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RE: Looking for a mentor - 9/16/2015 4:41:38 PM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

Before all of the sadistic crazies get in here to score points off of you...
1. Join Fetlife. Not a "dating" site but you can pull up all the upcoming events in your area plus you can join specific interest groups.
2. See if there is a "gateway" group in your area. These groups are specifically to promote knowledge and to educate people on BDSM.
They will have a variety of resources such as "dungeon101" and "Intro" nights for newcomers, presentations and workshops as well
as SIGs (Special Interest Groups).
3. In the "General BDSM topic are there is a booklist most of which have been read by the people running around here...You will get
some good info from there.

(in reply to Chaser88)

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RE: Looking for a mentor - 9/16/2015 9:56:46 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

Before all of the sadistic crazies get in here to score points off of you...
1. Join Fetlife. Not a "dating" site but you can pull up all the upcoming events in your area plus you can join specific interest groups.
2. See if there is a "gateway" group in your area. These groups are specifically to promote knowledge and to educate people on BDSM.
They will have a variety of resources such as "dungeon101" and "Intro" nights for newcomers, presentations and workshops as well
as SIGs (Special Interest Groups).
3. In the "General BDSM topic are there is a booklist most of which have been read by the people running around here...You will get
some good info from there.

x2

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

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Post #: 3

RE: Looking for a mentor - 9/17/2015 3:04:21 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

Before all of the sadistic crazies get in here to score points off of you...
1. Join Fetlife. Not a "dating" site but you can pull up all the upcoming events in your area plus you can join specific interest groups.
2. See if there is a "gateway" group in your area. These groups are specifically to promote knowledge and to educate people on BDSM.
They will have a variety of resources such as "dungeon101" and "Intro" nights for newcomers, presentations and workshops as well
as SIGs (Special Interest Groups).
3. In the "General BDSM topic are there is a booklist most of which have been read by the people running around here...You will get
some good info from there.

Third.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

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Post #: 4

RE: Looking for a mentor - 9/26/2015 12:48:35 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Plus, instead of one mentor who only sees things from one point of view, consider having dozens.

That's what the forums are for. Post a question and get a lot of different answers. See which ones make you nod your head. If the same poster does repeatedly, write them and ask if you can bounce the occasional question off them.

Just remember, it's the people you vehemently disagree with who are saying the things you need to think about. Because that means something they're said has hit an emotional trigger and you need to identify it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to NookieNotes)

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RE: Looking for a mentor - 10/21/2015 9:39:12 AM

LuminousFire

Posts: 50
Joined: 10/19/2015
Status: offline

I don't even know if you are man or women and what cake recipe you would like me to mentor you into making me. I only mentor cats and bottles of cheap Chardonnay these days.

Mentor - what a curious word, is it in vogue these days. I have seen it crop up from time to time and I fret regarding this and over similar matters and the no cake thing as i care.

If you do indeed seek one chose wisely.

What qualifications/life experience do you envisage them having.

Perhaps i am a good person perhaps I am a bad person shall I mentor *insert name* mould you into monster for I am Victor, Victor Frankenstein ,muahaha (oh ive never said that before but secret always wanted too :)

friend-mentor good, alone bad what makes a good mentor/friend hmmm - my belief is few people have that capacity and the seeker surrounds themselves with the opposite.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: Looking for a mentor - 2/16/2016 7:35:50 PM

mechski

Posts: 137
Joined: 2/12/2016
Status: offline

"Before all of the sadistic crazies get in here to score points off of you... "

Awesome advice, I wonder if he took it? I can't stop chuckling about this one.

quote:

ORIGINAL:

Before all of the sadistic crazies get in here to score points off of you...
1. Join Fetlife. Not a "dating" site but you can pull up all the upcoming events in your area plus you can join specific interest groups.
2. See if there is a "gateway" group in your area. These groups are specifically to promote knowledge and to educate people on BDSM.
They will have a variety of resources such as "dungeon101" and "Intro" nights for newcomers, presentations and workshops as well
as SIGs (Special Interest Groups).
3. In the "General BDSM topic are there is a booklist most of which have been read by the people running around here...You will get
some good info from there.

< Message edited by mechski -- 2/16/2016 8:23:17 PM >

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

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RE: Looking for a mentor - 2/16/2016 8:43:05 PM

mechski

Posts: 137
Joined: 2/12/2016
Status: offline

Do you really believe this? What if you are totally right about what is being disagreed upon? How do you know the disagreement caused an emotional trigger?

"Just remember, it's the people you vehemently disagree with who are saying the things you need to think about. Because that means something they're said has hit an emotional trigger and you need to identify it."

I'd like you to elaborate.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Plus, instead of one mentor who only sees things from one point of view, consider having dozens.

That's what the forums are for. Post a question and get a lot of different answers. See which ones make you nod your head. If the same poster does repeatedly, write them and ask if you can bounce the occasional question off them.

Just remember, it's the people you vehemently disagree with who are saying the things you need to think about. Because that means something they're said has hit an emotional trigger and you need to identify it.

< Message edited by mechski -- 2/16/2016 9:25:04 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: Looking for a mentor - 2/20/2016 7:15:04 AM

SuaveGentleman

Posts: 64
Joined: 2/14/2016
Status: offline

Spend some time reading the forum posts on here. Some <evil grin> are educational. :)

(in reply to mechski)

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RE: Looking for a mentor - 2/20/2016 7:47:25 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Finding a mentor is such a personal thing. To my mind, one doesn't ask for mentors; they just kind of "fall into one's lap".

"WTF does Michael mean?" Well, I have had two mentors over my life. They were both people that it turns out I respected. I don't mean respect in the way a lot of people use it, these days. I don't mean "courteous". I mean the definition of respect that goes: "to hold in high esteem or regard".

Whether or not we realize it, when we encounter a person like this in our lives, whether they agree to it or not, they already are our mentor.

Perhaps you know someone like this, already? Look around at the people in your life. Maybe you already have one?

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to SuaveGentleman)

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RE: Looking for a mentor - 2/20/2016 10:34:53 PM

theHouseofAvalon

Posts: 87
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaser88

Perhaps, this is not the right place, and if it is not, I am sorry. Hi, my name is Chase and I am 27 from Louisville, KY. I have been in the lifestyle for about a year and a half, and I have had some experience (with a relationship). I have been reading online and I am seeking a mentor that is patient and knows about being a daddy/dom or just a dom.

If you think you can help me please message me. Thanks in advance.

Believe it or not, find as your mentor a great experienced submissive. She will teach you about being a great Dom in so many ways.

1) She will let you experiment and make mistakes as a natural part of learning.
2) She will give you immediate feedback.
3) She will be more fun than a male mentor.
4) She can open doors for you as part of a couple that might be closed for a single inexperienced male.
5) She will have one or two submissive female friends who will introduce you to valuable contacts and male mentors for specialized skill development.

Not the answer you might expect but it is my proven path and I assure you it works and will bring you, and she, success.

The Master of The House.

(in reply to Chaser88)

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RE: Looking for a mentor - 2/27/2016 7:10:45 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theHouseofAvalon

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaser88

Perhaps, this is not the right place, and if it is not, I am sorry. Hi, my name is Chase and I am 27 from Louisville, KY. I have been in the lifestyle for about a year and a half, and I have had some experience (with a relationship). I have been reading online and I am seeking a mentor that is patient and knows about being a daddy/dom or just a dom.

If you think you can help me please message me. Thanks in advance.

Believe it or not, find as your mentor a great experienced submissive. She will teach you about being a great Dom in so many ways.

1) She will let you experiment and make mistakes as a natural part of learning.
2) She will give you immediate feedback.
3) She will be more fun than a male mentor.
4) She can open doors for you as part of a couple that might be closed for a single inexperienced male.
5) She will have one or two submissive female friends who will introduce you to valuable contacts and male mentors for specialized skill development.

Not the answer you might expect but it is my proven path and I assure you it works and will bring you, and she, success.

The Master of The House.

I must disagree.

A man requesting a woman as his mentor will create the impression that he's fishing for free kinky sex.

Go into the community and crystallize what you wish to lea Rd n, and who could teach you.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to theHouseofAvalon)

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RE: Looking for a mentor - 2/27/2016 8:55:17 PM

theHouseofAvalon

Posts: 87
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: theHouseofAvalon

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaser88

Perhaps, this is not the right place, and if it is not, I am sorry. Hi, my name is Chase and I am 27 from Louisville, KY. I have been in the lifestyle for about a year and a half, and I have had some experience (with a relationship). I have been reading online and I am seeking a mentor that is patient and knows about being a daddy/dom or just a dom.

If you think you can help me please message me. Thanks in advance.

Believe it or not, find as your mentor a great experienced submissive. She will teach you about being a great Dom in so many ways.

1) She will let you experiment and make mistakes as a natural part of learning.
2) She will give you immediate feedback.
3) She will be more fun than a male mentor.
4) She can open doors for you as part of a couple that might be closed for a single inexperienced male.
5) She will have one or two submissive female friends who will introduce you to valuable contacts and male mentors for specialized skill development.

Not the answer you might expect but it is my proven path and I assure you it works and will bring you, and she, success.

The Master of The House.

I must disagree.

A man requesting a woman as his mentor will create the impression that he's fishing for free kinky sex.

Go into the community and crystallize what you wish to lea Rd n, and who could teach you.

One does not "request" a submissive woman mentor him. It simply is a wonderful byproduct of having an experienced submissive in your camp giving you advice and providing feedback. It is not reduced to the terms you describe.

I started out with two such women back to back with both so very experienced that either eclipse most Doms in knowing what makes a great Dom. The first even came with professional quality toys hand made by artists. The second one was an ex dungeon monitor for a large club on the East Coast.

I was fortunate to meet them here on CM and was confident enough not to shy away from experience and they not to shy away from inexperience. You ladies know what I'm saying here. You Dom's also. Experienced submissive women greatly aid in a Dom's development. They willingly mentor him without judgement.

I would not recommend something unless I know it works and works well. It is why I am now...

The Master of The House

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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Post #: 13