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Is my profile text clear? - 9/23/2015 11:36:11 AM   
EmberGirl93


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/30/2015
Status: offline 		I think this exerpt from my profile pretty clearly explains what it is I'm looking for. But I still get lots of confused messaged and people asking me what I'm looking for. Even from people who have read my profile. It's annoying but it happens often enough that in actually starting to wonder if it's ambiguously worded. Please give me your opinion.

"Hi, I'm ember. I'm a 22 year old student...and a happily owned slave. I have a Master already. I'm not looking for a Master or a but I am looking for play partners to go to nyc play parties with, either one time or on a regular basis. I am looking for someone local, close to my own age (20s or early 30s) and friendly. If I can't hang out with you or have a regular conversation we're not going to work as play partners. I'm looking for a Top or Sadist for parties, not someone to fuck. "

Am I missing something? Is this somehow not clear?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/23/2015 11:39:54 AM   
Verbivore


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/16/2015
Status: offline 		It's clear, people are just hoping that once they message you, you'll read their profile and instantly everything you previously said you wanted will be swept away, leaving only the things that they themselves want from you. Just be prepared to stick to your guns and get lots of insults for knowing what you want (ie, not them) along the way. Good luck hon!

(in reply to EmberGirl93)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/23/2015 11:40:41 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmberGirl93
Is this somehow not clear?


Whether it's clear or not doesn't matter to a lot of guys here. They're either hoping you lack conviction about your desires or they think they're the exception to your rules. (If they're actually so stupid that they don't understand, you wouldn't want to play with them anyway)


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to EmberGirl93)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/23/2015 2:49:21 PM   
Onerat1


Posts: 76
Joined: 6/19/2013
Status: offline 		Like the others say it will not matter how clear it is. I say I am not looking to meet but some write wanting to talk. When i did want to most was not what I would be interested in. It happens at all sites.

(in reply to EmberGirl93)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/23/2015 2:52:21 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah, I read your profile and want to ask you guys if you want to give me a blowjob?

Life is life, it is block, delete, move on, do whatever. Why? There ain't no why, it just is.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Onerat1)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/23/2015 9:24:44 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline 		I have an experimental profile somewhere here that says something to the direct effect of "don't message me, as I'm not looking", and whenever I log into it to clean it up, it's filled to the brim with guys messaging me.

Another test profile says I'm lesbo, and, guess what. Guys are constantly trying to "turn" me (little that they know).

As the others said, it really doesn't matter how clear you are; it only matters how SELECTIVE you learn to become.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/24/2015 9:32:12 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You're young and female.
These guys aren't reading your profile, just searching for young women. They email you a cut and paste note they've sent thousands of others on the off chance it catches your eye.



_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/24/2015 9:41:09 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		My profile says "Just here for the forums".

I just received this:

Him: would like to see you in your riding gear

Me: I do at least one charity event every weekend and three bike nights a months. It's not hard to see.

Him: Might I have the privilege of binding you thoroughly?

So, yeah...it gets ignored....and I'm close to 50!

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/24/2015 10:27:51 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		Bill Burr, the comedian, said to Seinfeld, "I realize that whatever I say, soon as it leave my lips, it becomes something else the moment it enters another's head."

Your OP made me think of this. It's tricky to try and control your message, no matter how hard you work upon it.

To me, your text is clear. You are looking for a casual secondary kind of partner, no corporal sex, but in place of that: friendship and play. In place of "casual secondary partner" I might also think "friend," but what you seek is a little more than friendship as I see it.

As a parting shot: M and W have a difficult time forging different, non traditional relationships. It gets even more complicated with marital boundaries and expectations. I fully appreciate anyone who's trying to have a serious, interesting relationship across the gender line that is not marriage or monogamous dating.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 9/24/2015 10:36:22 AM >

(in reply to EmberGirl93)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/24/2015 10:41:13 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You're young and female.
These guys aren't reading your profile, just searching for young women. They email you a cut and paste note they've sent thousands of others on the off chance it catches your eye.



Definitely. Just being female, let alone young, will whip men on the other side into a blathering frenzy within which they will never notice what else you've written. Like Ron said, just block and delete. Nothing you can say in your profile can change that reaction, unless you change your profile identity to elderly male.


_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/24/2015 2:54:42 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		I don't deny the premise enunciated here, but I'd like to add that some guys do read profiles and are looking for a compatible relationship -- and you need to be able to spot that quality interest in your inbox.

Frankly, I don't think many people, M or F, are wired, open, or very understanding of a limited, bounded relationship that comes second and underneath of a primary relationship. Next, one thing that's not stated here, is what role is this DOM playing in the background? Whatever play partner signs up with the OP, that person is entering into some kind of relationship with the DOM.

If I were to answer this OP's solicitation I'd ask: "Hey, this sounds like an interesting proposal, being supportive play partners. What is your DOM's interest in this? How supportive is he? Suppose you and I became fast friends and scene together, do you think your DOM would be comfortable with that? How would you feel if I'm married to someone else or (if I already have a girlfriend?)

To me the key thing in this woman's search is to screen out men looking for a primary interest or men who might become too attached to her.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 9/24/2015 3:00:14 PM >

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/24/2015 3:00:08 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
You're young and female.
These guys aren't reading your profile, just searching for young women. They email you a cut and paste note they've sent thousands of others on the off chance it catches your eye.


I can concur that it's even worse than that.
Men cast a wide net.

For a male profile, you'll be lucky to get people messaging you from fifteen miles away, which cuts down on the riff raff.
However, for a female profile, even if you say "local only", you'll definitely get guys messaging you from all over the world.
As if that could work, in reality.

It can't work. And we all know that (for the most part).
But men cast a VERY WIDE (and very unrealistic) net!

That net includes from 18 to 99 instead of a more realistic plus or minus 15 years or so.
It includes any height. Any weight. Any sexual orientation (it seems). And any location on earth.

Personally, I think the DISTANCE filter is a great filter on my personal profile.
I don't bother with anyone who messages me who is further than about 25 miles away.
Sure, I get messages from folks all over, but, in general, I respond politely and don't put much effort into anyone more than a realistic distance away.

But, men casting their net aren't encumbered by realistic distances.

As an experiment, I created, long ago, a test profile of the most obviously fake woman who just loved having sex that I could think of, and, at the same time, a realistic woman, of realistic height and weight and age, etc., and whose profile was pretty much boringly realistic.
I wanted to see what happens, and, while I wasn't shocked, I was dismayed at what the poor "real" women go through.

I had guys from every country on this planet messaging BOTH PROFILES (and sending both profiles horrid pictures that I could fill a dozen photo albums with were I to bother printing them).
The advantage of the two VERY DIFFERENT profiles was that I could easily see the SAME GUYS saying the SAME THING to two VERY DIFFERENT (supposedly) people!

Not only do men cast a very wide net, but, it's a very wide boringly simple net.
I'm sure, just as all nets catch something, that it works....
Otherwise, why do they persist?

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is my profile text clear? - 9/25/2015 8:11:30 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmberGirl93

I think this exerpt from my profile pretty clearly explains what it is I'm looking for. But I still get lots of confused messaged and people asking me what I'm looking for. Even from people who have read my profile. It's annoying but it happens often enough that in actually starting to wonder if it's ambiguously worded. Please give me your opinion.

"Hi, I'm ember. I'm a 22 year old student...and a happily owned slave. I have a Master already. I'm not looking for a Master or a but I am looking for play partners to go to nyc play parties with, either one time or on a regular basis. I am looking for someone local, close to my own age (20s or early 30s) and friendly. If I can't hang out with you or have a regular conversation we're not going to work as play partners. I'm looking for a Top or Sadist for parties, not someone to fuck. "

Am I missing something? Is this somehow not clear?

Given what you want, this is not your best approach.

Instead, go to local munches, meet your new play partner, go to the parties with him.

(in reply to EmberGirl93)
Profile   Post #: 13
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