dreamlady -> RE: Question to Other Doms (10/19/2015 12:09:20 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr The relationship is over; she just hasn't had the courtesy to tell you, yet. Once your replacement is searched out and thoroughly interviewed, she'll be sitting you down with a "We need to talk ..." Sorry, bro. It's possible that you both are just going through a rough patch, but it also doesn't sound (based on what OsideGirl pointed out about your only being 20) as though the two of you have made a lengthy emotional investment in one another either. Your sub may be older than you, but chances are she's close in age. Barring some physiological condition such as the side effect of decreased libido caused by medication, she should have voiced her concerns by now if she doesn't know why she isn't getting sexually aroused when she's with you. OP, you have been patient and considerate, which does you great credit, and shows you must be rather mature for your age. I'm not going to beat around the bush. My very first impression was that she's no longer turned on because you aren't acting "Dominant" enough for her. Many submissives enjoy being "forced" or essentially expect their Owner to take control of them, and staking claim to their bodies is a huge part of this. I'm torn between not wanting to encourage you to behave forcefully and "impose your will" upon others, much less advise any man to behave in less than a gentlemanly manner toward any woman, but. . . I am not a submissive. It isn't just the young or immature submissives (and non-submissives) who confuse domineering conduct with an expression of dominance. You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your gal. However, instead of asking her how you should proceed, I would explore every angle I could think of and then decide how to address them. If what I suspect is true, then you have to come across as being decisive. If A, then you will implement B. If C, then D, and so on. Otherwise, you will have already lost her. To put it another way, for me to tell a man I want him to act more romantic towards me kinda ruins it. It ruins the mood. I feel as though I shouldn't have to. After all, if I chose this man, then he should be a romantic sort of fellow. Btw, not every submissive female gets off on consensual non-consent, and until you know and trust your partner very well (and she, you), this is a bridge you don't want to cross without having a thorough discussion beforehand to lay out boundaries and parameters. Insist she use her safe word if she starts feeling as if anything is getting out of hand; and even if she doesn't, as her Dominant it is up to you to set the pace and to put matters on pause if you don't feel comfortable with any given situation. Best of luck, DreamLady
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