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RE: Advice needed - 11/15/2015 7:18:05 AM

JanahX

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Use your safeword.
If you are nervous - it may be because you dont know him well enough and your trust level isnt developed yet. I know I sure as hell wouldnt let someone I know very well put me in a position where I was vulnerable and knowing he was going to correct me - that could mean anything & who the hell knows if he will even honor a safeword.

Too many people rush into this type of shit.

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RE: Advice needed - 11/15/2015 10:00:22 AM

Missokyst

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Soon after this thread started she became owned, presumably by the master in question.
Rushing in happens all too often. She is no longer owned and lists herself only as here for advice, so I am guessing it didn't work out.
no surprise there.
Makes me wonder why people come to ask questions if they are only here to get the answers they want.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

Use your safeword.
If you are nervous - it may be because you dont know him well enough and your trust level isnt developed yet. I know I sure as hell wouldnt let someone I know very well put me in a position where I was vulnerable and knowing he was going to correct me - that could mean anything & who the hell knows if he will even honor a safeword.

Too many people rush into this type of shit.

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RE: Advice needed - 12/19/2015 12:06:04 AM

cabrona

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Has any Dom or goddess ever opening privately trained n out of state subs n or slaves on eurthra Chasitity devices. N charged for training ? Is it legal to do?

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RE: Advice needed - 12/19/2015 12:38:23 AM

stef

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What?????

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RE: Advice needed - 12/19/2015 1:10:31 AM

MasterNewYork

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It depends on "your" state law. Each state is a little bit different on Pros, on what and what they can and can't do. The best thing to do is put this question to a Pro Dom, or Pro Mistress, and tell what state you live in.

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RE: Advice needed - 12/19/2015 3:33:42 AM

LadyPact

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If I've got it right, dude's looking for someone to work with him via cam with urethral sounds. In other words, instruction via computer for activities he's really doing to himself.

Since I don't know of any cases that via cam interferes with state or local laws (because the instructor wouldn't be having any sexual contact) there's no state or local laws that are at issue. Can't say I've known anyone who was arrested for doing sounds in person, either, so I wouldn't worry about that part.

Yes, people do this kind of thing. There's a huge group on the other site about it.

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RE: Advice needed - 12/21/2015 3:49:07 PM

Therealslavelife

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Actually I perceive him as very good. He has the mind f--k going, you are on pins and needles. You may have found the real deal. Unless you have some reason to believe he may be far too extreme for you, which based on the info you provided seems you think he fits you, I would relax and enjoy the ride. If this is Dom /sub make sure you have your safe word in place an relax and enjoy the ride.

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RE: Advice needed - 12/22/2015 8:07:44 PM

DominionTN

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I'm late coming to this discussion, but I do find it a bit humorous that you stated "I knew I could wrap people round my finger so it was easy to get out of things ..." and then later seemed somewhat surprised that he "thinks I have manipulated men in the past ..." Perhaps you're not viewing yourself objectively.

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RE: Advice needed - 12/22/2015 8:24:36 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Therealslavelife

Actually I perceive him as very good. He has the mind f--k going, you are on pins and needles. You may have found the real deal.

And I wouldn't view that as the real deal because I don't do fear play or mind fucks.

As far as manipulating people, it's an essential skill to get your needs met. Hell, it's the basis of diplomacy. Getting people to do things your way and like it.
I didn't look for someone who wanted an incompetent partner, I found one who isn't so insecure that this bothers him. And he's smart enough to recognize me trying it on him and just laugh. YMMV

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RE: Advice needed - 12/22/2015 9:54:58 PM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Therealslavelife

Actually I perceive him as very good. He has the mind f--k going, you are on pins and needles. You may have found the real deal.

And I wouldn't view that as the real deal because I don't do fear play or mind fucks.

As far as manipulating people, it's an essential skill to get your needs met. Hell, it's the basis of diplomacy. Getting people to do things your way and like it.
I didn't look for someone who wanted an incompetent partner, I found one who isn't so insecure that this bothers him. And he's smart enough to recognize me trying it on him and just laugh. YMMV

I'd say it depends, foster dog chewed on one of H's vintage guitars, no damage to the guitar but teeth marks and my fault as I didn't put him in his crate when I took a shower, thought it would be fine and the bugger escaped and he managed to open the door to the room, errr

I made him a really nice dinner and wore rather tight fitting clothes, his first question was "OK tell me, what happened...." He didn't explode as I had asked friends to secure me another one and he's getting an even more vintage Les Paul and I'm bringing it back with me next time I'm in LA (just had to sell my skills into slavery for a few weeks), but yeah, he knew what I was doing but hey, it still worked (I decided I am definitely not going for the boob reduction), he comes in with a bottle of bubbly and looking sheepish, I asked him if he fell over with my bike and how bad the scratching is.

I don't think it's evil manipulation or anything like that, it's more like "look, I'm making an effort because I effed up" apart from that, the man who said he doesn't like dogs, especially large dogs, decided earlier on that Harvey is going to be our Doberman number 4, even after he ate H's game controller and left the teeth marks on the guitar, I might have manipulated him a little bit, but really, dogs and cats make him happy ;)

The main thing in relationships is making each other happy, how you do it really doesn't matter much

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RE: Advice needed - 12/29/2015 6:51:00 AM

obnoxious

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RE: Advice needed - 12/29/2015 12:11:53 PM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Blossoms1

Hi everyone, just seeking some advice, bdsm is relatively new to me although I have dabbled some in the past I have always done it in a way where, I guess if I'm honest I am still in control...in the past I knew I could wrap people round my finger so it was easy to get out of things if I wasn't sure or felt nervous

Met a Dom a while back and really connected met him for a social and omg he is amazing...unfortunately something happened and I had to put our thing on hold for a while but we have still chatted throughout
Anyway I've been really open with him and he thinks I have manipulated men in the past, which maybe I have but I haven't done it in a nasty way or on purpose it's just happened

Anyway, my point I'm taking ages to get to is, I'm meeting him again next week, and I've kinda been bratty I guess these last few weeks and he's not said anything at the time, but now he said that he's going to correct me on it when we meet...
And I'm worried about that, I told him I was worried and he said good and that I need consequences

But what if I can't handle it?
Any advice?

You mean when he disposes of your body? You probably couldn't handle that, but on the plus side you won't know too much about it when you're at rest.

You would have to be one of the unlucky few, granted, but then no one thinks it will happen to them

If he is straight down the line, then the consequences won't be a problem. Because you may have a sore arse, be stretched to your limits and the rest of it - but you'll live to tell the tale.

The real question is: is it worth meeting someone in private whom you don't know.

My understanding is that every day 4,000 people in the United States are dismembered and squashed into a batch of mince pies to feed the family (and their dogs). At Christmas time when mince pies are all the rage and demand can not possibly meet supply that 4,000 becomes 8,000. And so the possibility of ending up in a mince pie is beginning to take shape and become every woman's worst nightmare.

I'd probably ask him: what exactly do you mean by the consequences? Does this have anything whatsoever to do with a mince pie?

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