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LadyConstanze -> RE: How evil are you... the quiz (12/27/2015 12:04:42 PM)
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Well, in case it stretches the imagination too far, rules of rewards and punishment are what else than make people adhere to existing rules? If it isn't manipulation to some degree, then everybody would do the right thing without laws. People usually wouldn't follow laws quite so willingly if there wouldn't be punishment for not following them.
Think about a tax return, who would do it if you just could claim whatever and not get seriously shafted if you lie about it and get caught?
Next door having a party that is really loud, if they ask ahead and ask me if "I mind" I am obliged to say I don't, so they manipulate me, but I know about it, it's socially acceptable. Think dates and guys sitting through chick flicks as it's an early date, think they wouldn't rather go to a Fuqua or Tarrentino orgy of explosions and violence?
Not all manipulation is deceit. a lot of it is just living in society and playing by the rules. I stand in line at the check out, somebody tries to muscle in and I don't go "Hey fuck off and stand in line!" I politely go "Do you mind?"
Honestly, everybody you meet and tell to "have a nice day", how often do you really hope they have a nice day and how often don't you care? Even being polite is manipulation to a certain degree, I don't see it as negative but why deny that it's something that is happening? Look, if I have a problem with something, I will tell the customer representative that I am awfully sorry to bother them, I know it's their job and they get paid for it, I just make them feel a bit less shitty about their job, so yeah, manipulation because they have to deal with my complaint anyway.
It's kinda funny to see manipulation be handled like some kind of "black art", with the slightest bit of honesty, eachh and everyone of us would admit that we use it daily, or is there anybody among us who never asked for a raise and the unspoken thing was "I might work for somebody else..."? Anybody ever courted or was courted and found everything the person that took them to a date said utterly fascinating? I love hubby to bits, but the first thing I did was wash a bunch of geek and Hawaii shirts far too hot, replaced them with nice stuff that was less colourful, the nicer version than going "You dress freaking awful" and he knows what I did, he's pretty grateful now.
This whole gung ho stuff about "manipulation evil evil" winds me up a bit, we all use it when we negotiate and most of us buy and sell stuff, obviously people who claim to never use it might not ever have negotiated a job or a salary, bought or sold a house or a car.... Hey, I wanted the house we live in at the moment but I pretended to walk away from the deal and possibly would have, because they tried to charge more and I knew they needed to sell as they had bought another place already and there had to be renovations to be made. The 50K we paid less came in handy for the double glazing we got done, not doing it would have cost me 100K - the 50K regarding the asking price and the 50K the renovations cost... Seriously, if you buy a new car, do you tell the dealer that you really really want that car or are you telling him you keep your options open to get a better deal?
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