Just using me? (Full Version)

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Rosemary120 -> Just using me? (1/8/2016 2:50:46 PM)

The last few guys ive talked to have wanted me to send pictures and videos, mainly sexual. Im wondering if theyre just using me and not wanting something real like they said. One has also wanted to meet in a matter of 2 months. I feel wary now, like its too rushed. Advice?



Baldrick -> RE: Just using me? (1/8/2016 2:53:26 PM)

If you feel like you are being rushed, tell them... If they don't understand it is not meant to be.



WickedsDesire -> RE: Just using me? (1/8/2016 3:17:20 PM)

Questioning if this site is worth it you have no profile and pictures. The sheer cheek you dare ask someone like me..I should beat thee senseless
ps almost no real people here I have the figure at less than 10%

But perhaps you would care to text me your reality before you sit in judgement of your on kind - seems fair that huh



Cinnamongirl67 -> RE: Just using me? (1/8/2016 3:26:00 PM)

Hello Rosemary

Send clothed pictures and zero wank fodder ( sorry guys!) the one who holds a conversation and stays interested without seeing you naked, would be the best choice. Unless being used is your thing. This is a bdsm site so some are into that.



Dvr22999874 -> RE: Just using me? (1/8/2016 3:28:31 PM)

I agree with Baldrick...............if you dated somebody in a vanilla situation and they wanted to see your body before YOU were ready, how far would that relationship go ? Treat this the same way. you have nothing to prove to anybody and you need show nobody anything until YOU are ready. The ones that push like you described are just looking for wank-fodder, or they are collecting pics or scalps. Ignore them.



LadyConstanze -> RE: Just using me? (1/8/2016 3:30:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rosemary120

The last few guys ive talked to have wanted me to send pictures and videos, mainly sexual. Im wondering if theyre just using me and not wanting something real like they said. One has also wanted to meet in a matter of 2 months. I feel wary now, like its too rushed. Advice?



How would you feel about a person you meet on a vanilla site asking you that? If a guy in a pub or bar asks you to show your boobs?

Anything that makes you feel uncomfy, don't do it, why would you send a perfect stranger wank fodder?



MsLadySue -> RE: Just using me? (1/8/2016 3:33:21 PM)

If you took bdsm out of the equation and were looking for someone to date, would you be comfortable if a potential date asked for sexual pictures and videos?

The men asking for these, before you've mutually agreed to begin a D/s relationship, are picture collectors and horny net geeks, not dominants.

It makes sense to meet a potential dominant within a short period of time. Meet for coffee in a public place with no intention of a play date after. Find out if this is someone you want to know better. If you don't feel any chemistry or get a weird vibe, you haven't wasted a lot of time getting to know someone you aren't compatible with anyway.



DocStrange -> RE: Just using me? (1/8/2016 4:14:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rosemary120

The last few guys ive talked to have wanted me to send pictures and videos, mainly sexual. Im wondering if theyre just using me and not wanting something real like they said. One has also wanted to meet in a matter of 2 months. I feel wary now, like its too rushed. Advice?

Welcome to the kinky world of the internet. Never send anyone you do not know sexual pictures or videos of yourself. I would only do that after a very well established relationship.

Unfortunately you are going to find a lot of people asking your for such pictures. It is not this site, it is every site. Tell them to get lost. No respectable Dom will ask you to do that. Do not let anyone bully you by email (or in person). Take your time. Do not meet with anyone until you are comfortable doing so.



Dvr22999874 -> RE: Just using me? (1/8/2016 4:15:04 PM)

If we are to meet somebody for the first time, I always recommend it be in a public place ( like a café or coffee bar) and maybe have a friend sitting nearby that can keep an eye on proceedings, or if not, have a friend on speed-dial, so they know where you are and what's happening and why. That way, you can hopefully get out of any situation, quicker than you got into it if it should eventuate.
Only meet them when YOU are comfortable. Only show them pics that YOU would be comfortable showing to a stranger.



Rosemary120 -> RE: Just using me? (1/8/2016 6:10:37 PM)

Thanks everyone for the responses. I'm starting to think of just taking my account all together. Too much stress,and to infatuation, no, being used isn't my thing. I should've known better. *sighs* I've also met a guy that's local but I get a manipulative vibe from him. So that's a no go. And any other I've met, I sense a little connection, but everyone's always so busy. So I guess I'll be a stray. Get my licence, find a place of my own, and just do my own thing.



Rosemary120 -> RE: Just using me? (1/8/2016 6:14:14 PM)

And we are in a relationship, but this was only after a few days of talking. So again, not very established. I really need to work o myself before bringing anyone else into my life.



FelineRanger -> RE: Just using me? (1/8/2016 7:48:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rosemary120

And we are in a relationship, but this was only after a few days of talking. So again, not very established. I really need to work o myself before bringing anyone else into my life.


This might be the single wisest thing you've posted on this site.



DarkSteven -> RE: Just using me? (1/9/2016 12:37:13 AM)

I agree with other comments, but will add - why is meeting within two months too fast? I frequently would meet someone online, chat a week or two, and then meet up. My idea of "meeting" would be a dating relationship, with me making a pass at her on the second or third date - it was not an assignation. But if the woman was local to me, I'd be too impatient to wait that long.



DesFIP -> RE: Just using me? (1/9/2016 11:03:36 AM)

Actually meeting sooner instead of later is recommended. If you wait six months, you're going to have it in your head that he's this wonderful person. Then you meet and discover he isn't at all like the image you built up in your head.

15 minutes in Starbucks will tell you if there's enough of a connection to continue to talk. And if there isn't, all you've lost is 15 minutes.



Lucylastic -> RE: Just using me? (1/9/2016 11:17:30 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineRanger


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rosemary120

And we are in a relationship, but this was only after a few days of talking. So again, not very established. I really need to work o myself before bringing anyone else into my life.


This might be the single wisest thing you've posted on this site.



I liked it, its a sensible thought, not always easy to resist temptation:)
But Im with the rest of the other posters, I cant tell you how long I was in an online relationship with someone before I sent an unclothed pic, and im NOT a prude at all.
Unless you trust the person a LOT, there are people who can and will use your personal "nude" pics against you on all kinds of pathetic shaming sites. Ive exchanged shots that if my mother found , she might raise an eyebrow, but wouldnt piss her off. Plus my nekid body is NOT a thing of beauty so I tend not to have it photographed.

Revenge porn is a thang now.
even tho its illegal.
take your time, if your gut feels compromised, listen to it, it is usually right.
Have fun, and take care of yourself.



Rosemary120 -> RE: Just using me? (1/9/2016 12:09:23 PM)

Thanks. And yeah, He still gets on here which I don't like but whatever. I feel I should give this up all together.

@ Feline Ranger And I'm smart enough to know that I need to work on myself. Also thanks for the half compliment. @Des FIP that's very true. I feel everyone tends to build up an image of someone



EligibleOwner -> RE: Just using me? (1/11/2016 1:48:52 AM)

I don't think proposing a meeting in two months is rushed at all. Far from it: that seems slow to me. And I think it's a good sign if a man wants to actually meet you in real life. But when I say "meet you" I mean meet you. Not "play" with you, have sex, or do anything beyond meet in public and talk for a little while before going home and thinking about whether you'd like to meet again for a slightly longer time.

But I'd certainly advise you not to send any naked or "sexy" pictures or videos to anyone on this site. An entirely unembarrassing portrait photo is one thing, when you're ready and when he's ready to send you one. Anything potentially embarrassing is another thing entirely, and I don't know why any man would want to see this except just to masturbate over at home rather than meet you or, worse, to somehow share with others. I doubt they're the types of men you want.



Curmudgeonly1 -> RE: Just using me? (1/14/2016 1:10:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange

Unfortunately you are going to find a lot of people asking your for such pictures. It is not this site, it is every site. Tell them to get lost. No respectable Dom will ask you to do that. Do not let anyone bully you by email (or in person). Take your time. Do not meet with anyone until you are comfortable doing so.


This is a kink site and I always thought that exhibitionism and voyuerism were quite legit kinks. As are domination and submission.

But what the hey, MKIOK, YKINOK.



Lucylastic -> RE: Just using me? (1/14/2016 1:25:00 AM)

And so is consent.



Cell -> RE: Just using me? (1/14/2016 1:54:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

And so is consent.


Not sure if I understand. Are you saying consent is a kink? O_o



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