crumpets
Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014 From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley) Status: offline
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ORIGINAL: dreamlady You feel a bond (or no real connection because it's lopsided, the emotional depth is lacking), partially because your body has released oxytocin bonding chemicals (similar to those released with nursing mothers which strengthens the bond between mother and child). Come to think of it that way, and, what you wrote makes sense. quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady The truth is, you may feel tender and loving toward your sexual partner, but this is worlds apart from being "in" love. I don't think I've ever been "in love", I guess. quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady If the sex was satisfying (in your case, I would also contend that your sex partner would have to appear to be satiated as well, or else you feel that you didn't do a good enough job to get patted on the head -- metaphorically speaking), then you find yourself feeling sexually infatuated. I can't imagine sex not being satisfying to the woman, but, yes, on the point of the oxytocin, I would agree that a chemically induced "infatuation" may be the order of the day in the circumstances I've described. quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady Anything else aside from infatuation would be more accurately described as being "in lust" or having been lust-driven to begin with. OK. Now you're talking my language. While I may not really know of "love", I certainly am extremely familiar with lust. quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady I am going to insert an image, and if it doesn't display properly, will you please kindly fix it when copying it into a post of yours? No can do. That trick used to work, but when Collarspace went to cloudflare, they disallowed hotlinking across the two sites. (They probably didn't even realize it worked - so we should've kept it as our little secret.) The image is an image in your personal email which isn't accessible to me (or to anyone, other than to you). You can email it to me and I'll link to it here, but, it's probably not worth the effort unless it's really important. quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady Anyway, a lady (nor a gentleman) doesn't kiss and tell. Fair enough. quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady Secondly, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? While I've certainly heard that expression, I must be different than everyone because, to me, that makes absolutely no sense. Of course I understand the concept. But I don't subscribe to it. I really must be different, because I think it's a phrase that applies to someone else, but not to me. Either I'm very different, or I don't understand my own motivations. quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady It's more like a sophisticated form of bartering, not limited to tangible goods and services. Fair enough. There's something that is in demand, and it happens to have a certain supply, so, there's an inherent value equation, I guess. (I'm not really sure about it following typical supply and demand curves though.) quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady a lot of guys mistakenly presume they can offer as sexual bait to get a woman interested in them. The problem with guys (self included), is that we think like guys think. And, a lot of the time, we act like guys act. I know it's strange - but that's what most of us guys do. If only we didn't think or act like guys, we'd be a lot better for you wimmins. quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady (Definitely does not work as bait with me, the worn-out oral-servicing meme.) Again, it's guys thinking like guys. I know it's weird. But, for some reason, we think like guys think. For example, the world would be fantastic if wimmins thinked' like guys think. (Consider the possibilities: Wimmins offering the best blowjob, for hours on end, as their value added.) quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady there are women who don't enjoy oral sex (and I know I heard the earth shattering and caving in upon your head when you first learned that there are [kinky] women that exist who don't like cunnilingus Say it ain't so! Pssst. I've actually heard that there are men who exist who don't like to receive oral sex. Dunno how that can happen, but, that just means there is one or more of everything out there. quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady sex offerings being used as a manipulative device or as a seduction strategy is a big fail to certains segments of the female population. Drat. quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady Doing doesn't mean a man knows what he's doing or has the capacity to learn how to do it *right* I never understood that sentiment, although at face value it makes perfect sense. However, you're supposed to TELL HIM how to do it. He won't get it right the first time - but you're supposed to TELL HIM what he needs to do to get it right. Or, at least you TELL HIM what he's doing wrong. Seems pretty simple to me. It's just like a math problem. You don't know how to do it (it's all cryptic wimmens symbols and 'stuff). She may or may not give you hints on how to solve the initial problem And then you do the math problem She (the teacher perhaps?) TELLS YOU that you got it wrong. OK. So you got it wrong. No big deal. You ask why, she tells you. You internalize why or what you did wrong it and you try again. You're not gonna get it right - but you're closer to the solution than you were before This is progress. She TELLS YOU again what you need to do You try the same problem again, only this time, you make fewer mistakes She keeps telling you (grading you, as it were) on your mistakes (or on your successes) You try a harder problem with her (different position perhaps) Again, you get it wrong - but she TELLS YOU what you did wrong (or what you did right) You try again, only you keep doing the things she tells you that you did right and you don't do the things she tells you that you did wrong I don't know but how many iterations should it take until you get it all right and none wrong? My point is, that, just like solving a complex math problem, you can't help but get it right in the end if she TELLS YOU what you're doing right or wrong. Of course, if she doesn't tell you - and if she leaves you totally up to your own devices - well then, who'se gonna solve differential calculus equations on the first try? She has to TELL YOU to use the Laplace Transform which simplifies the complex equation. You just apply that Laplace Transform - which turns complex calculus into simple algebra. What's the big deal? quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady -- usually when a man gets locked into techniques which worked on another woman (in bringing her to orgasm), he will assume that his tried-and-true methods will work on EVERY woman he gets with. Well, OK. There's the problem. Doing that is like is like trying to solve quantum physics with Newtonian equations. Every woman is a new and very different math class. Techniques that worked for Ms. Algebra needs to be expanded upon for Ms. Trig, and there are definite limits when trying them out on Ms. Calculus. quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady This can range from how he French-kisses, the A-D of his linear foreplay, down to the motion of HIS ocean, despite his new partner's suggestions or feedback to the contrary. It's like trying to teach an old dog new tricks. No. That's the wrong approach. It's not an old-dog approach. It's a new math class approach. The guy has to treat every single woman as he would approach a complex math class. You don't ASSUME anything when you're confronted with Maxwell's equations. You just figure it out, one by one, and unless you're Maxwell himself, you're just not gonna get it right the first, second, third, fourth, fifth (...) time. But, each time, you'll get a better handle on each of the terms! As long as SHE corrects HIM, he will get each term, one by one. No pressure (who can do math under pressure?) Not me. No pressure - just a constructive environment for learning how to solve complex equations. The APPROACH is the key. Not the technique (because the technique of solving each equation depends on the equation).
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