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RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 4:05:44 AM   
princessmika


Posts: 50
Joined: 12/10/2012
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

if they actually "cared" for their clients, money would not be involved.



Hi there! I figured I'd chime in. I would consider myself a pro-domme and, of course, I mess around with findom. Oh boy, haha. I can speak for myself and say a lot of people on this forum have been weary about me, even disrespectful, but I feel as though that it has lightened up with time after they speak with me for a bit.

Anyway! I want to respectfully disagree with you. Just because I am being paid for my services as a pro-domme doesn't mean I do not care about my clients. It makes my heart so happy to make their day or to at least to be apart of them having a few moments to have fun and let go. I absolutely love what I do and I'm so happy to be able to do it as my job.... and I wouldn't be able to spend all day (literally ALL DAY) indulging in all kinds of fetishes with all sorts of amazing people without it being also my job.

In vanilla sex work, as I'm apart of other cam girl forums, one major complaint are many vanilla men not wanting to pay for masturbation/nude shows because the girl should feel so good and happy to do it (when mostly everyone enjoys masturbation) ... why pay? This is what your statement reminded me of. Just because we love what we do and do it as our job does not mean that we are any less of a dominatrix. Providing a service does not make it fake or mean that we don't care.... at least, for me. Especially those clients that come back frequently that I've had the pleasure of getting to know so well... the relationship is very real and not strictly "business".

As LadyPact so beautifully stated, if you don't like prodommes, you don't have to go to one. Everyone has a right to choose what they want to do.

I wish you the best! :)

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 4:21:01 AM   
bounty44


Posts: 6374
Joined: 11/1/2014
Status: offline 		it used to be, and still could be said that this is generally true: men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love. I suspect the "get love" part of that equation could be interpreted also, or exchanged out to say "get security."

so the new proposition might be: men give security (or the money that leads to it) in order to get kink and women give kink in order to get security.

and yeah, there is indeed an inconsistent standard when it comes to judging the two sexes on the matter.

women complain vociferously about men's expectations concerning feminine beauty but you'll hardly ever see men complaining about women concerning their expectations concerning men's earning capacity.

I suspect what makes men in general hacked off about "tributes" and "fin-dommes" and even pro-dommes is, we have this innate sense that even though we are dogs who are almost desirous of having sex indiscriminately, sex's best placing is in the context of a relationship, and that not as a relatively meaningless client/customer.

< Message edited by bounty44 -- 4/8/2016 4:25:15 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 4:57:11 PM   
respectmen


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quote:

As LadyPact so beautifully stated, if you don't like prodommes, you don't have to go to one. Everyone has a right to choose what they want to do.


This is exactly my point when women whinge about men only wanting a fetish delivery system. Why is one bad but not the other in the minds of many people? If you accept pro dommes, then its no different to accept a male who only wants his kinks on.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 5:45:52 PM   
Wayward5oul


Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

People in here are always whinging about men only wanting a fetish delivery system. Yet, these same people never complain about women only wanting a financial delivery system, such as pro dommes and financial dommes.

What makes them any better??? If you complain about one and not the other, you're a hypocrite on the grounds of criticising a person who only wants one thing from another and nothing more.

If they get to be on here looking for a financial delivery system, so should men who only seek a fetish delivery system. Not to mention, women are never judged on here who only want kinks and nothing more. Why the double standard?


Dude, sorry 'bout your e-penis.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 5:47:41 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Respectmen, you Appear to have such a hatred and resentment toward women and yet seem so obsessed with them.
Are you by chance repressing some homosexual desires? I mean, it is ok if you want to get your freak on with a guy. Then you wouldn't have to be tortured by the evils of the opposite sex.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 7:08:42 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

worshipkitty

quote:

Would most people do a job if they weren't being paid for it?


My stance against what ReMakeYou said, if they actually "cared" for their clients, money would not be involved.

That said, this goes back to the fact that they only want a financial delivery system. If they can't get that, there is no go to anything further whatsoever. This is no better than a man only wanting a fetish delivery system.

quote:

Also, why exactly do people feel the need to criticise sex workers?


For the same reason people criticise men who only want a fetish delivery system.

quote:

Expect it's only seen as immoral when women are using it for their own advancement.


Except when men are only looking for a fetish delivery system.


Your comparing apples and oranges. One is a business arrangment. A client wants a service and is willing to pay for it, the provider provides the service and accepts the payment.

The other is someone trying to have their fetishes met for free and allowing their genitals to dictate how they communicate those desires.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 7:24:46 PM   
respectmen


Posts: 2042
Joined: 8/28/2015
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quote:

One is a business arrangment. A client wants a service and is willing to pay for it, the provider provides the service and accepts the payment.


It is also a business arrangement for a man who wants a fetish delivery system interacting with a woman who wants a fetish delivery system. Or is it that you think the woman is worth more than the man?

quote:

The other is someone trying to have their fetishes met for free and allowing their genitals to dictate how they communicate those desires.


So just because men have a sexuality too, like women, they are expected to pay pay pay. For what? for having a sexuality, just like women. If they expect it for free, its wrong...because women are more worthy than men?

It's hilarious how being PC and modern these days, we are supposed to liberate female sexuality. But there is nothing liberating at all with male sexuality when you think its wrong for a male to expect sexual wants for free.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 10:02:12 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen



It is also a business arrangement for a man who wants a fetish delivery system interacting with a woman who wants a fetish delivery system. Or is it that you think the woman is worth more than the man?



The men that treat women as a fetish delivery system aren't entering into a business agreement unless they're visiting a Pro-Domme. The complain is against men that are contacting women under the guise of having a D/s relationship "I wish to serve you by you doing this to me"

The difference is glaringly obvious to everyone else but you're so determined to play the "poor men card" that you'll grasp at straws. You're compariing apples and oranges.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 10:04:57 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen



So just because men have a sexuality too, like women, they are expected to pay pay pay.

Nope. Taking the Pro-Domme out of the equation...those men are expected to treat women like human beings. I realize that's hard for you to grasp.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 10:15:17 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline 		Dafuq?

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 10:26:19 PM   
ReMakeYou


Posts: 147
Joined: 1/20/2012
Status: offline 		"Treating women like people" is only a secondary concern here. I mean, it's a good idea for any man who wants to get along well with women, but that's only tangential to the issue at hand. It's simply the fact that it's frustrating when you have to wade through a lot of stuff you don't want in order to have a chance of finding something that you do. Especially if most of the stuff you don't want all seems to take the same general form. It's the same general idea whether your mailbox is clogged with tasteless come ons, or your searches are clogged with brats demanding tribute.

The reasons why both views of and expressions of male sexuality differ from those for female sexuality have been documented extensively elsewhere on the internet. If RM is honestly curious instead of trying to make overly simplistic comparisons, there's plenty he can look up.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/8/2016 10:31:39 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Actually respecting women as people is exactly most whiners problems.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/9/2016 1:44:37 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ReMakeYou

"Treating women like people" is only a secondary concern here.
<snip>
The reasons why both views of and expressions of male sexuality differ from those for female sexuality have been documented extensively elsewhere on the internet. If RM is honestly curious instead of trying to make overly simplistic comparisons, there's plenty he can look up.

That's the problem, though, with males like respectmen, is in viewing women as sex objects and not seeing women as individuals in their own right. In his case, any woman who disagrees with him is branded with the scarlet letter "F" for feminazi (based on his posting history under this screen name and all the others he has had, with the longest previous one being that of a submissive before he started alternating between switch and Dom), regardless of what her personal positions actually are. The stances he takes are not even the result of Neanderthal-level mental processes, because any modern-day cavewoman would kick his sorry ass to the curb after clubbing his head in.

Pardon the crude analogy, but if for one second this man was sincerely seeking answers to his convoluted thought processes, it would be an entirely different matter.

He wants privileges he has not earned despite the stark reality that (male) horndogs are a six-pence a dozen. He is the poster boy for male self-entitlement issues, that just waving a hard-on should suffice as a clarion call for his instant sexual gratification. It's beyond pathetic that this overgrown man-child is too clueless to have any game in getting his petulant demands met.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
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RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/9/2016 2:00:05 AM   
epiphiny43


Posts: 688
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		No, I think rm has great game. He's gamed the whole forum. Who else has so many intelligent people working overtime to humiliate him so regularly? Obviously the real goal. And ya'll keep doing his bidding.
Don't Feed The Trolls!


< Message edited by epiphiny43 -- 4/9/2016 2:03:15 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/9/2016 2:10:18 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: epiphiny43

No, I think rm has great game. He's gamed the whole forum. Who else has so many intelligent people working overtime to humiliate him? Obviously the real goal. And ya'll keep doing his bidding.
Don't Feed The Trolls!

You have a point there. He has probably never gotten as much attention from a group of women in his whole life as he has had over the years on these fora.

Lest it appear that I am speaking disparagingly about other's kinks and fetishes, I shall put it like this: IF he did have a public humiliation fetish, he's gotten one helluva ride with freebies.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/9/2016 6:42:37 AM   
cindyluvNY


Posts: 26
Joined: 9/29/2015
Status: offline 		@OP

I think you spending too much time trying to meet women online. If you start going to munches you will find that there are plenty of women who aren't looking to get paid.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/9/2016 6:53:39 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen
It is also a business arrangement for a man who wants a fetish delivery system interacting with a woman who wants a fetish delivery system. Or is it that you think the woman is worth more than the man?

How are you coming to this conclusion? For it to be related to business at all, there has to be something exchanged of comparative value. This is where your theory based on gender goes to crap. Instead, it goes more like this:

The top and the bottom both want to play. That part is equal exchange because they both want something out of it. Next, we have to look at exactly how that's going to happen.

Let's say you want to get tied up. Did you bring the rope with you or did you expect me to provide it? You want to get flogged or whipped? Did you bring those? Did you shell out for that really cool single tail? How about the other expendables? The needles, the wax, the materials for sensory dep... Did you buy those or in this "business arrangement" where we both want to play, did you expect me, as the top, to provide them?

How's the business arrangement sounding now? My investment is looking a lot higher on the dollar and cents scale compared to yours. When I walk into the club, I bring all of this stuff to make this scene happen. Did you?

As a bottom, you probably didn't. Unless someone is a part of a couple, very few people who want to get suspended bring their own rope. People who go on about how much they love wax play don't show up with their own candles, floor tarps, burn cream, and covers for the dungeon furniture. When was the last time you saw a bottom (not part of a couple) walk into the club with their own violet wand?

So, really, when you walk into the club and think it's an equal exchange because you want to get done, you're putting the onus on the top to be the fetish delivery system AND the financial delivery system because that gear (and learning how to use it) doesn't grow on trees. Are you putting equal monetary value into the play you want to receive?






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RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/9/2016 10:08:54 AM   
DocStrange


Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

Men who criticise pro dommes are considered to be trolling and/or socially inept within the BDSM community. Women who criticise men who only want their kinks on are not considered to be trolling and/or socially inept within the BDSM community.


Where have you been? There are literally thousands of threads on here criticizing Pro Dommes and Fin Dommes. Those topics are a regular occurring theme on here and have been ever since I joined the site in 2004.

The majority of the men being criticized is they claim to be a submissive but complain when a Domme will not meet their fetish demands. In reality they are not a submissive but more a kinkster and simply want their fetishes met and they are searching for the wrong person to get what they want.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/9/2016 11:00:02 AM   
respectmen


Posts: 2042
Joined: 8/28/2015
Status: offline 		So basically, when a male wants casual, he only see's women as objects and not humans, he doesn't respect women, he is self entitled.

This is nothing but demonisation of male sexuality. Do you people really think your attitudes are liberating to male sexuality? This is no better than slut shaming.

These people who are cranky at me in here are also so damn dumb that they most probably won't place the same standards on a woman who only wants casual. What's even funnier is that they don't see dommes who want a financial delivery system as seeing men as financial objects and not humans, they don't respect men, they are self entitled etc etc etc.

A man who wants casual seeking a woman who thinks alike (who wants casual too) is a mutual agreement. I have no idea what the flying fuck is wrong with that. It seems that androphobia is fucking rampant in these forums. Bigotry against male sexuality seems to be the norm in here. You would really think that this attitude towards anyone's sexuality would be less common in a BDSM site.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system - 4/9/2016 11:15:41 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen
You would really think that this attitude towards anyone's sexuality would be less common in a BDSM site.

But it's only YOU who keeps thinking that men are hard done by and bleats about it all the time.

You could just as easily swap the genders in your statement and it would still be true.
But, of course, you can't see that.

The only attitude is in your tiny pea-sized mind.


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Profile   Post #: 40
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