RE: Do you think women date up and men date down?

RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (Full Version)

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respectmen -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 1:45:25 AM)
quote: Well I always date up, economically, but for me to date down economically would entail dating someone who is unemployed Shameless hypocrite. And a chauvinist who thinks her worth of being a woman is more than the worth of a man.

PeonForHer -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 1:59:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: Well I always date up, economically, but for me to date down economically would entail dating someone who is unemployed Shameless hypocrite. And a chauvinist who thinks her worth of being a woman is more than the worth of a man. God. Holster your revolvers, RM. She was just saying she doesn't earn much and that all the men she's got off with have earned more.

respectmen -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 2:19:51 AM)
In other words, she depends on a man who earns more to provide her a better lifestyle. A lifestyle that is provided by his money.

Lucylastic -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 3:20:42 AM)
I didnt realise dating made you dependent on someones money. Shit, what have i missed....

respectmen -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 3:49:19 AM)
Lucy, it obviously is when women only want to date a man who earns more. On one hand, women are independent and don't need men. On the other, they expect a man who earns more lol. I wonder why that is Lucy? If women are independent and don't need men after all, I can't see any logical explanation in the world on why she needs a man who has a better lifestyle than her own.

Lucylastic -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 5:01:28 AM)
not at all, if she is working, living on her own, she is only dependent on herself, unless he takes over her finances from the day they meet, she is not dependent on him at all. If she is working and he isnt (as she said unemployed) should she pay all his bills,....while dating? Dating is not a marriage where the wife stays home to look after their kids (which is getting rare because in so many cases both HAVE to work) You are comparing apples to oranges. As usual

Greta75 -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 5:24:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen In other words, she depends on a man who earns more to provide her a better lifestyle. A lifestyle that is provided by his money. I married down financially, but he also provided me a better lifestyle, because I came from a home devoid of love, to a home where I felt, when we were married, was filled with love. And unconditional love (which is rarer to find than money), is the most priceless commodity on earth. Yes, if a man isn't gonna improve my lifestyle, I sure hell ain't marrying him. But unconditional love is rarer and harder to find than money, so why not settle for money? There is alot of men who earn less than you who doesn't know how to love too. What do you do when you find someone who has more money who loves you better and more unconditionally? I just don't understand why you are so sour grapes over women with men with higher income. And the crazy thing is, you ignore all the women who marry below their income, despite initially preferring a man with equal or higher income. Because, as I said, end of the day, unconditional love wins the day, but I can tell you most people aren't capable of unconditional love.

Cinnamongirl67 -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 6:07:12 AM)
This is really kind of an ignorant question. But then again I'm almost a half century old but on this particular subject I think I could have answered it at 18. Times have changed a lot so has the answer. It's really based on the personality of the individual, whether male or female. These days it's almost a gender neutral question. Women are in all different kinds of roles now so it's especially different for them. When I was growing up I was taught "it's just as easy to love a rich man as a poor man" and "Never date someone you wouldn't marry" It is good advice actually. Of course I was a rebel and dated the poor man, the rich man, the dumb man, the smart man, the good boy, the bad boy, the ugly man, the gorgeous man, the stable man, the crazy man, you name it, I dated one. The point was I was dating and figuring out what floated my boat. I didn't love any of them except one (that one actually was my first real bf) you never forget the first who sets off the bells and whistles. I'm really not sure that was really even love. Anyway, dating and marriage are two different things. I chose the middle man to marry. I chose the middle man to learn to love. Considering my position, although I had a career, but it definitely wasn't my priority in life, it would be quite stupid to date then marry a man who couldn't or wouldn't keep a job, or didn't have characteristics I lacked, to compliment a lasting relationship that meant growth. Now if I was a passionate about my career type woman, I would have most likely picked another, because I would have had other needs that needed supplied. As far as men go, if they are more conservative, they will smartly chose a woman who isn't career oriented, if they are more fly by the seat of their ass types, they will chose a career woman. Some will want an equal partner in finances and that's important to them. It's not about dating up or down, if your interested in finding a life partner, it's about who compliments your lifestyle and personality. And I'm talking about the cases of real genuine people looking for honest none game playing relationships. Not gold diggers, users, losers, and the confused. That's a whole different kettle of fish. As for that advice I received long ago, well it was good advice because if you do fall in love, the mind altering boom, can't live without them love, it can take on a whole life of its own. Where free will becomes almost impossible because it's like a drug of ecstasy at times. So although your in love, you may end up with the person who wasn't the one who was best for you. Be careful. Myself I was lucky I never experienced that until much later, and my earlier choices saved me. It's an ignorant question to me, because why would a person date down to their needs? To be a martyr? It's not about dating up or down. It's about finding someone to compliment or fill your life.

respectmen -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 6:43:00 AM)
Lucy quote: not at all, if she is working, living on her own, she is only dependent on herself, unless he takes over her finances from the day they meet, she is not dependent on him at all. If she is working and he isnt (as she said unemployed) should she pay all his bills,....while dating? Dating is not a marriage where the wife stays home to look after their kids (which is getting rare because in so many cases both HAVE to work) You are comparing apples to oranges. As usual You seem to be dodging my point. If she is independent and doesn't need a man, how come she wants a man that earns more? Can you please come up with a logical reason why she should only date a man who earns more if she doesn't need his better lifestyle? Greta quote: I just don't understand why you are so sour grapes over women with men with higher income. And the crazy thing is, you ignore all the women who marry below their income, despite initially preferring a man with equal or higher income. I'm not sour grapes over women with men with a higher income alone, I'm sour grapes over the dishonesty of women who only want that. On one hand, they claim to be independent who don't need men, on the other, they only want a man who earns more. If they don't want his money and to leach off of his better lifestyle, what logical reason than is she only seeking a man who earns more? I certainly don't deny or ignore that there are women out there who do date men with a lower income. I am talking about the women who do only seek men with a higher income.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 7:14:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: Well I always date up, economically, but for me to date down economically would entail dating someone who is unemployed Shameless hypocrite. And a chauvinist who thinks her worth of being a woman is more than the worth of a man. Well maybe then you shouldn't be a hypocrite and campaign for her to earn more? She never said she thinks she's worth more than a guy, that's you putting words into her mouth. For the record, I don't think on a human scale you're worth much, that has nothing to do with your gender, just with you being such an ..... (you can fill in the blank yourself) She qualified that "economically" she dated up, she didn't say anything about other aspects, you decided that she considers herself more worthy, pretty shallow to put everything down to how much somebody makes. Carers get very little pay, so economically they may date up, doesn't make them worth less as a person, on a social and compassion scale they might date down. Bet you would have no issue with a guy saying "I'm the carer for my sick relative, I have so little money that economically I always date up..."

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 8:04:20 AM)
Well... I only date men who earn more than me, but then again, I've been saying "housewife" since kindergarten when I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. Kinda hard to be a housewife and earn more than your mate... Following from that is not only the fact that I have a preference for men who earn more than me (at the time of meeting them, because I've had a career when I was on my own and needed to support myself) but who earn enough so that it's feasible for them to support us both. Important to me is too that the man in question has traditional supporter/helpmate values when it comes to relationship, considering that not all men want the trade off of supporting a woman who takes care of the house and kids while he works. And, even as a housewife, I still financially contribute to the household, considering that I'm skilled in all kinds of trades labor, such as plumbing, electricity, etc, and that I renovate properties we jointly with my own two hands, to increase their sales/rental value. My ex and I owned 9 apartments by the time I was 23, he paid the lion share for their initial purchase, I renovated them and managed the rental side of things, so that when we split, we sold them with a sizable profit (despite the market being down at the time). My current husband and I are again taking that same path: he pays for acquisition, I put in the sweat equity and run the house.

Greta75 -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 8:54:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen If they don't want his money and to leach off of his better lifestyle, what logical reason than is she only seeking a man who earns more? Because she's looking for a man who is more capable at making money than her! Just like, she may like a man who is more stronger physically than her! Women are attracted to men who are smarter, more capable and stronger than them. Because we are physically weaker by nature and look for one who is capable of protecting us. Our weapons are our brains, but not our brawn. But to get the best protector, he needs brains and brawn too. And the ability to make alot of money has to do with brains. You only focus on the money. But people love other people who are good at things. He could be better at singing at her, better at sports than her, better at money making than her! That attracts women! Whereas I think generally, alot of men do not really like the idea of a woman being better than him in everything.

respectmen -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 9:31:28 AM)
Greta, I appreciate your honesty and don't see you as a bad person. It just seems that "equality" is out the window when it comes to this, while on the other hand, when there is an inequality/disparity that women disapprove, it must be dealt with. Social justice! When a man feels entitled to sex with the average woman or any woman, he is bullied for being self entitled. But a woman who wants and will only settle for a man that is offering more than her, that shaming is hardly existent. It does exist but the people who do shame women for that are usually deemed as trolls and/or misogynists. quote: You only focus on the money. No, it's ironic to say that when I am the one criticising others (women) who are focusing on money...as for they only wanting to date a man who earns more than them. So how can I be focusing on money when I am criticising women for doing exactly that? quote: Whereas I think generally, alot of men do not really like the idea of a woman being better than him in everything. Whereas, it's women, NOT MEN, who don't really like the idea of dating a man being not as good with things compared to how she is. If this wasn't the case, as to your belief on men, men generally wouldn't be easier than women.

Cinnamongirl67 -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 9:50:56 AM)
What is the deal? What do you do for a living? Are you unemployed right now or what? Let's talk about the Real Issue, want too?

OsideGirl -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 9:59:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen Whereas, it's women, NOT MEN, who don't really like the idea of dating a man being not as good with things compared to how she is. Well, considering this is a kink site...and I'm a submissive female giving control of my life over to the male Dominant in my life.......Yes, I expect him to be a good leader, a good decision maker, a good problem solver, intelligent and a strong personality. Personally, my only concern with money is that we have enough to be comfortable. I don't care which of us earns it.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 10:37:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen Whereas, it's women, NOT MEN, who don't really like the idea of dating a man being not as good with things compared to how she is. If this wasn't the case, as to your belief on men, men generally wouldn't be easier than women. That's simple not true. Men want a woman who's 'better' than they are too. They just look for this in other areas than women do. They want women who are prettier than they are, more nurturing than they are, more domestically inclined than they are, more socially/organizationally minded than they are, etc. Men don't care about partners with bigger earning potentials, who are taller than they are, who are physically stronger than they are... those are things women look for. Men look for the flip side of the coin when it comes to those thing, and aren't willing to settle for women who are 'lessor' than they are in those areas. Which is exactly why 'feminist' who expect a man to earn more than they do, be more handsome than they are pretty, and who yet insist that domestic labors are split 50/50 almost invariable are single and whining that they can't find men. Partnerships are a give and take, both men and women look for what they do not have, and try to trade what they do have in exchange for the things they want. In an overly generalized and totally average way that doesn't apply to every single specific instance: Men trade income for nurturing, women trade nurturing for income. The only reason that you see women as being the only ones who want a partner who's 'better' than them, is because apparently you only place a real value on 'income' and don't place any value at all on 'nurturing qualities' that women offer in exchange. You count income as being the only thing that has value in a partnership, and thus consider all partnership to have a 'winning party' (the one who earns less) and a 'losing party' (the one who earns more), which ignoring the fact that just because somebody earns less, it doesn't mean that they don't bring anything of value -other than monetarily- to the relationship.

PeonForHer -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 10:50:41 AM)
quote: It just seems that "equality" is out the window when it comes to this, while on the other hand, when there is an inequality/disparity that women disapprove, it must be dealt with. Social justice! When a man feels entitled to sex with the average woman or any woman, he is bullied for being self entitled. But a woman who wants and will only settle for a man that is offering more than her, that shaming is hardly existent. It does exist but the people who do shame women for that are usually deemed as trolls and/or misogynists. You're not a misogynist, Nick. You're just someone who disapproves of women who a) are feminists (per most of the threads you've ever started) b) are non- and anti- feminist, and who therefore want a man to be big, strong, and the main breadwinner c) are femsub kinksters, who we may describe as 'post-feminists', who've learned that equality and freedom for women is their right, but have consciously chosen to adopt the role of subordinate/less powerful/(choose your term) in a relationship. But you're fine with all other women.

MuscleBoundDom -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 11:20:00 AM)
In the non-college degree world, men still make more than women. Most all the plumbers, electricians, construction workers, etc. are men and they make a good living. Most all of the receptionists are women, who make minimum wage. It's not unreasonable that those women would be looking for a man who can help them out, make their lives a little bit easier.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 11:21:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: Well I always date up, economically, but for me to date down economically would entail dating someone who is unemployed Shameless hypocrite. And a chauvinist who thinks her worth of being a woman is more than the worth of a man. LOL I think you need to look up the word hypocrite.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? (4/29/2016 11:25:19 AM)
quote: how come she wants a man that earns more? No dear, it's that a man who earns less would be earning nothing. In other words my job pays shit.

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