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FieryOpal -> RE: Why is trust so important in doing BDSM ? (4/22/2016 5:55:03 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
OK. Due to another person's post, I went to read the profile to see the "four rules". (I don't read most people's profiles, so take that as you will.)
It's not a bad profile. Well written, you seem to be articulate. Good things.
However, this thread made me think of some other posts that I've read over the years from some of the guys here. Men who were able to accomplish exactly what you're asking, and one theme kept recurring that was a part of their success.
Over and over, the male Dominants who got trust from people they met online, gave it first.
Want a phone number? Give yours first. Pics? Send yours before you ask for hers. Don't make it a tit for tat situation. (No, "I've sent you mine, now you OWE me" kind of thing.) Show the hypothetical "her" that you're willing to trust her with your info, that trust might just come back to you.
I'm not saying do something dumb. Don't go giving everyone your personal info over the internet. (For example, women usually interpret anybody willing to give their phone number to anyone and everyone with the look of desperation, needy, etc.) Establish a connection first and all of the normal courting stuff. Then, offer. If she takes you up on the offer, you might just have a good thing going. [;)]
LP, you just saved me a bunch of keystrokes, not just here or on other threads having to do with trust-building on line, but in repeatedly messaging the same info on a personal basis. (I'll do a post link instead! [sm=cool.gif]) I will extend this to conduct becoming ALL gentlemen when contacting ANY lady on line, not only for male Dominants, but pertaining to other kinky guys as well as vanilla guys.
They seem to forget that they are total strangers, accosting women on the Internet instead of on the street or in a bar, and it doesn't matter whether they present as vanilla, as some kinky dude who calls himself a Dom, a S/switch, or a sub-slave. None of those stag distinctions make the world feel any safer for a female when dealing with a host of unknown variables.
This is what the Dom-formerly-known-as-a-sub r-men fails to grasp when he gets his panties in a twist over how his "right" to be a sexually *liberated* male should automatically entitle him to get women interested in him as a sex partner merely because he is ready and willing to engage in casual play.
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