RE: Aftercare vs Brainwashing

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RE: Aftercare vs Brainwashing - 7/29/2016 6:08:23 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
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First, none of the first post really matters to me. One of my main kinks is behavior modification, and I have previously-given and ongoing consent to do whatever the fuck I want to my Pet. He also trusts me to do what's best for BOTH of us.

So, I would say: Do things with people you trust.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kkaliforniaa

Your dog analogy wouldn't be any different than if you had a cat, then changed where the litter box was. A properly trained cat wouldn't continue "going" where the litter box used to be, rather they would find where it is now [*excluding cats in new homes]..

Actually, you have that wrong. Going into sand-like materials and covering it up is a part of the cat's nature. So, litterboxes and using them are aligned with the nature of the cat, so the cat naturally WANTS to use that option in most cases.

Chasing squirrels is a dog's nature. NOT chasing squirrels is counter to that nature, so it is something that has to be regularly reinforced.

Your logic is not sound. They are not the same thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

consensual can sometimes be tricky

No it's not.

Agreed. Your example is consent, and perhaps the person who does things "to be liked" should stop putting their expectations on people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Fast reply.

If I were a female submissive, I think I'd be insulted with this post. The "oh, I consented, but I had sex in hopes the person would like me" stuff should make self respecting f /s-type folks sick.

Or anyone who CARES about consent. Does a TOP want that shit?

No. Just No. Enthusiastic consent is required. VERY enthusiastic, for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kaleidoscopekink

im curious about those who keep insisting "consent" is simple/"not rocket science" etc esp as it is even becoming seen as far more complex in the "vanilla" world so that many colleges & universities in the usa are struggling with policies/classes/etc to ensure folks are on the same page. hell, even legally speaking there's been plenty of blurred lines! again, im not saying All newbies (or abuse survivors) are challenged by this; however blanketly denying it might be a nuanced topic seems to do very little to help anyone & potentially more than a bit to harm some.

It is simple for us.

"Do you want this?"
"Ohhh yes."
"How much do you want this?"
"So much."
"Tell me. Make me believe it."
*begging and pleading commences*

Yup. Consent is simple. Especially when you only want enthusiastic consent.

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Post #: 21

RE: Aftercare vs Brainwashing - 9/2/2016 12:33:19 PM

Taqtiks

Posts: 62
Joined: 1/22/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange

Similar to hypnosis, you cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do. Hypnotic suggests only work if that is something the person is already receptive to do.

Not entirely true...at least not entirely accurate.

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RE: Aftercare vs Brainwashing - 9/2/2016 12:36:27 PM

Taqtiks

Posts: 62
Joined: 1/22/2004
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Addressing the OP

I would suggest that it is 'possible' to use aftercare to enforce/reinforce the submissive's dependence on the dominant.
I inflict the pain...I take the pain away.
I justify why you are in pain...and then reward you after the pain with kindness while reinforcing that your pain and pleasure both come from me.

I'm not suggesting in any way that this is a healthy relationship...but I don't think you were asking for that as a stipulation either.

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RE: Aftercare vs Brainwashing - 9/13/2016 11:34:27 PM

MistressAubreee

Posts: 29
Joined: 9/10/2016
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If aftercare isn't preformed right, there's potentially deadly consequences. Aftercare is agreed upon in a safe environment with no mind altering drugs involved. Communication is encouraged and kept open with aftercare. It's also wise for all individuals to know the symptoms of panic attacks, to stop a scene at the drop of a hat.

Brainwashing develops things like stockholm syndrome. Saying aftercare is just brainwashing to me screams "kink shaming", and someone who doesn't genuinely understand the BDSM community. BDSM is all about finding your "happy spot", even if it means some folks are inherently sadistic/masochistic when it comes to different things in life. A partner I've had in the past was a huge pain slut. For aftercare, I gently massaged them and talked to them soothingly, to bring them "back down to earth". It was MY responsibility to keep them safe. It was MY responsibility to be on the lookout for a possible panic attack, or sub drop. That is a LOT of responsibility.

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RE: Aftercare vs Brainwashing - 2/13/2017 9:57:14 PM

shadowax

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/27/2011
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Consent is simple, but when it is applied to BDSM . . it is farcical.
The courts view is that one person causes physical harm—injury and/or intense pain—to another person.
It is important to understand that the law sees this as causing harm, not engaging in mutually beneficial conduct.
This means that the law treats BDSM as violence, not as sex.
That explains why the issue of consent is different in BDSM cases than in rape cases.
In a rape case, the sex act is not viewed as criminal unless it can be shown that one party did not consent.
In a BDSM case, however, the causing of physical harm is, in and of itself, criminal.
Currently; BDSM is prosecuted as assault in U.S. courts . . EVEN when it is consensual . .
NO state or appellate court has allowed "consent" as a defense to assault in a BDSM case.
So, no matter how enthusiastic the consent is, understand that it doesn't extend past the bedpost . .

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Post #: 25