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Disobedience - 8/2/2016 12:07:27 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/17/2016
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Dear Sir's

I am an inexperienced first time submissive. In the past few weeks I have asked to begin training with someone online. I would like to learn more about submission and my personal ability to serve the needs of a dominant.

My question concerns punishment for misbehaving or for not doing as I'm told. One of my first tasks was that I not touch myself or orgasm unless I asked permission and was allowed to cum. I did ok for two days, but on the third day I played with my clit, and orgasmed without getting permission. When I was asked if I had touched myself or given myself an orgasm- I was honest and said yes that I did and that I enjoyed it very much.

I am wondering what type of punishments the members here have used to correct their disobedient submissive. If you would, please only describe Actual punishments you have used in the past (versus hypothetical) which you used to correct a subs bad behavior. I would appreciate any and all responses.

RE: Disobedience - 8/2/2016 12:24:51 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: teachme33
I would like to learn more about submission and my personal ability to serve the needs of a dominant.

I don't think you'll find that online.

quote:

I am wondering what type of punishments the members here have used to correct their disobedient submissive. If you would, please only describe Actual punishments you have used in the past (versus hypothetical) which you used to correct a subs bad behavior. I would appreciate any and all responses.

We don't have a punishment dynamic. We have an adult dynamic that involves discussing what went wrong and how to prevent it in the future.

The reality is that punishment dynamics don't work very well long term. (which is different than "Funishment"). They usually end up breeding resentment and dysfunction.

What you're doing isn't actually interacting with a Dominant. Because you're engaged in an online, you're actually engaged in 1 dimensional idea of D/s. Seriously, it is absolutely not like real life.

You're 23 and in Minneapolis. You should have no problem finding munches, discussion groups and demonstrations in your area. Get out and meet real people please. I doubt you'll have a hard time finding people who are interested in guiding your way into the community.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to teachme33)

RE: Disobedience - 8/2/2016 12:45:41 PM

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
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Having an "adult dynamic" does not at all preclude including punishment within it.

That said, why are these questions always about the sub not being able to follow rules about masturbation?

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Disobedience - 8/2/2016 12:47:55 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

That said, why are these questions always about the sub not being able to follow rules about masturbation?

That's funny because I was thinking the same thing.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to littleladybug)

RE: Disobedience - 8/2/2016 2:21:34 PM

Posts: 5490
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quote:

That said, why are these questions always about the sub not being able to follow rules about masturbation?

Because porn.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Disobedience - 8/2/2016 2:24:53 PM

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
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I am time itself - but even it escapes me. It was inevitable.

You I firmly to believe 100% a guy and ive told you afore leave them alone on here....you may feast on the liars ive no issue with that..but ave invalidated yourself from this from the first time you plied your heinous garbage...A moral fortitude you are not...you, dogsbreath, are worth no more words

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Disobedience - 8/2/2016 2:41:27 PM

Posts: 133
Joined: 8/8/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

That said, why are these questions always about the sub not being able to follow rules about masturbation?

Two words: wank fodder

(in reply to littleladybug)

RE: Disobedience - 8/2/2016 5:20:54 PM

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
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Three days? You couldn't go three days without touching yourself?

(in reply to teachme33)

RE: Disobedience - 8/2/2016 5:37:04 PM

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Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

Three days? You couldn't go three days without touching yourself?

Wouldn't.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Kaliko)

RE: Disobedience - 8/2/2016 7:27:51 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I stopped sleeping after three days of edging and denial. Since sleep deprivation is involved in over 30% of fatal auto accidents, I needed to have a serious discussion with him about it.

But that's what I don't hear from the op, that she talked to him about this and told him it wasn't working for her. Why didn't she? Why isn't the first response to a problem talking to a partner.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: Disobedience - 8/2/2016 9:58:01 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Why isn't the first response to a problem talking to a partner.

Becausee it's online, probably with an Uber Dom and it goes against the fantasy. She's new and doesn't understand that she should be able to talk about things.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Disobedience - 8/2/2016 10:05:04 PM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

Three days? You couldn't go three days without touching yourself?

I definitely couldn't! And any dom give me such a task is setting me up to failure ha! And that relationship will probably end really quick!

(in reply to Kaliko)

RE: Disobedience - 8/3/2016 10:51:52 PM

yegg

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/4/2004
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Seriously, if the first commands are no masturbation, no panties, and no talking to other doms, just run. Anyone who's first priorities in a relationship are to remove pleasure, leave you exposed, and isolate you from a potential support network after only knowing you in an online setting is setting a bad pattern, and they're not very creative either.

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Disobedience - 8/3/2016 11:48:13 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yegg

Seriously, if the first commands are no masturbation, no panties, and no talking to other doms, just run. Anyone who's first priorities in a relationship are to remove pleasure, leave you exposed, and isolate you from a potential support network after only knowing you in an online setting is setting a bad pattern, and they're not very creative either.

Disagree. And where was there an attempt at isolation? it's very common for the D type to want to control the pleasure. And while i'm not a fan of no panties, it's not "red flag".

So, while online sucks, you're off base.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to yegg)

RE: Disobedience - 8/5/2016 5:47:19 AM

Posts: 40
Joined: 7/3/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yegg

Seriously, if the first commands are no masturbation, no panties, and no talking to other doms, just run. Anyone who's first priorities in a relationship are to remove pleasure, leave you exposed, and isolate you from a potential support network after only knowing you in an online setting is setting a bad pattern, and they're not very creative either.

I only masturbate when commanded... which has been once.

I hate wearing panties, but Master commanded me to wear them at work. Other than that, when I wear them, they are going to be ripped off me and I'm going to get the slut fucked out of me.

I do not comunicate with any D or /s unless Master directs me to. On the rare occasion he allows me to read mail on this site it just pisses me off. There are many manipulative fucktards that immediately assume that they can give you a better dynamic, that Master isn't all that I know Him to be... they pick at something they know nothing of. It does not impact my relationship, but it does make me angry and that "effects" me and my relationship, ever so briefly, therefore I Do Not even glance at mail unless Master directs me to.

Master allowed me to read a particular cmail from a gentleman a few weeks ago regarding the photo of me on Master's new Porsche. The gentleman said that I'd be much prettier posed on the hood of a high rise 4x4. It struck me as an offer to pose on "his 4x4" which irritated me, but Master said it was a great idea and that He was going to chain me to the brush guard of "Super Truck" (Master's high rise 4x4) and take photos.

The point is, I know what I have, will do everything in my power to keep it, am old enough to know better, but He still restricts my exposure to other lifestyle folk. Not because He is afraid I will get "seduced" by another, but like I said; they piss me off and that effects my mood and He doesn't like that shit. But there are many young, naïve... and, sometimes, just stupid people out there that should have their communication/correspondence restricted until the relationship is well established.

~ExiledSlave

_____________________________

Owned by ExiledTyrant

(in reply to yegg)

RE: Disobedience - 8/5/2016 11:54:19 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Can't you see the difference from a real life relationship with someone you can count on to get you when your car breaks down and some cyber dude who doesn't care about anything except what turns him on? who hasn't met the op and probably never will?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to ExiledSlave)

RE: Disobedience - 8/5/2016 7:33:41 PM

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

Three days? You couldn't go three days without touching yourself?

I definitely couldn't! And any dom give me such a task is setting me up to failure ha! And that relationship will probably end really quick!

Of course you could.

Now, what DesFip described is something different. Edging and denial can definitely throw someone over into orgasm - it's easy to cross that line. But to just refrain from touching yourself? For pete's sake, find a hobby. Go for a jog. Read a book.

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Disobedience - 8/5/2016 8:50:19 PM

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Joined: 7/18/2012
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Or perhaps a job.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to Kaliko)

RE: Disobedience - 8/5/2016 8:55:59 PM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
For pete's sake, find a hobby. Go for a jog. Read a book.

I touch myself while reading a book. And I can study and absorb what I read while touching myself at the same time. Multi-tasking.
And exercises increases my desire to cum. So That will definitely make me touch myself. Nothing better than a high intensity work out and a good masturbation session immediately after to cool down.
Can also have a quick relief at work, during toilet breaks.
Seriously..., it's quite hard if you really enjoy it ha! No discipline what so ever!

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 8/5/2016 8:57:30 PM >

(in reply to Kaliko)

RE: Disobedience - 8/6/2016 1:11:32 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

OP, I hate to judge, but typically when I hear a sub describe how she disobeyed her Dom, she's torn up about it because her obedience has become a part of her. In your case, you sound coolly detached. I honestly think that you should rethink the relationship.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Greta75)

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