general question re the psychology of a Domme

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general question re the psychology of a Domme - 8/16/2016 1:47:02 PM

HonorInSlavery

Posts: 23
Joined: 8/16/2016
Status: offline

Ok...new to this site and new BDSM in reality... i am a slave (male) happily in the beginning stages of being collared.

Simple question not meant to insult, what motivates a Domme/Mistress on a daily basis that keeps Her going, satisfies Her in role as the Dominant. W/we are not in a 24/7 TPE relationship, but have built something unique to meet O/our needs. i will ask my Domme in time, but don't want to flood Her with questions. Just looking for some quality opinions or wisdom from respected Domme's here. i realize from reading thru lots of chats that trolls exist/time wasting males.

i know from my psychology and brief experience as a contracted slave to Her, what makes me happy or feels whole is 1) when She is pleased and tells me, 2) the sense of belonging to Her. This is what i enjoy most, the D/s relationship, i view the dungeon time as just the physical outworking or play of this D/s relationship.
i do not view slavery as me being less of a person, but an honor to put Her life ahead of mine. In return, i know with a good, value based D/s relationship, She wants me as Her belonging and slave. This is what i enjoy.

All said from your perspectives as Dommes, what keeps you going, what or why is there happiness in the D/s relationship for You?

BTW...i am not here to advertise or sell myself as available...im not don't contact me as such.

sincerely,
slave HIS

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RE: general question re the psychology of a Domme - 8/16/2016 2:00:31 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14415
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

I've had a lot of discussions about D/s relationships with both sides of the kneel.

Today's society has bought into the false notion that a good relationship is an "equal" relationship. When in reality no relationship is perfectly equal. We each have our strong points and weak points and having a partner that compliments the highs and lows makes for a more ideal relationship.

So, to someone who has a naturally dominant personality, what society views as an ideal represents a constant battle and compromise. I don't think that would make anyone happy.

M has told me that one of his prime driving forces is that I have placed my trust in him. His goal is to live up to that responsibility. He's a natural leader and I trust him enough to let go and follow. He also knows that where I'm at, as his submissive, makes me happy and that adds to his happiness.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: general question re the psychology of a Domme - 8/16/2016 2:33:42 PM

HonorInSlavery

Posts: 23
Joined: 8/16/2016
Status: offline

Good point Oside, yes the trust thing is huge....forgot about that fact....that was definitely a big struggle for me moving from 20years of secretly craving D/s, self play, reading, etc. To a formal step of entering the Lifestyle. i felt GREAT RELIEF when that fear or struggle in me was settled....She helped a lot with that both by being patient and also confronting me. It felt good to say to Her "i trust You Mistress" even when She was trying to reach out and help me... Was good to say it and not look back. Based on circumstances absolute trust in Her as my Owner/Mistress is required...

Well said Osi

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RE: general question re the psychology of a Domme - 8/18/2016 10:22:08 AM

WickedsDesire

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
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I myself am an archaic being of time itself. Women have came in their pantaloons just by looking at me in the flesh such is the might of my sheer presence and they did not get to my eyes and the dark wonders that lie deep within

You have no domme why should I not just crush you now?
OsideGirl tends to give the benefit of the doubt..are you happy you used her to this extent - Sock?

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RE: general question re the psychology of a Domme - 8/18/2016 1:30:38 PM

princessmika

Posts: 50
Joined: 12/10/2012
From: USA
Status: offline

For me personally, as a domme, what keeps Me going and brings Me happiness are these three things:

(1) The amusement
I love to laugh and humiliation is a big part of what I enjoy doing with my subs. The more into it they are the better because the whole thing is just so... funny and great. I really enjoy the fun of it. I am certainly more of a happy, laughing domme as oppose to a mean, angry one.

(2) Bringing My subs to new heights
Whether it's a new low or high, the control and power I have is something I don't take lightly. Bringing My subs to new discoveries and epiphanies about themselves and/or the world itself is very rewarding to Me.

(3) Getting what I deserve
I just feel at My rightful place, as a domme. Receiving all kinds of things from gifts, service and words of praise. It all just feels right and I couldn't imagine my life any other way.

I tried to keep it brief ^_^ Hope this helps answer your question.

_____________________________

www.PraisePrincessMika.com

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RE: general question re the psychology of a Domme - 8/18/2016 2:36:15 PM

HonorInSlavery

Posts: 23
Joined: 8/16/2016
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Thank You Princess Mika

< Message edited by HonorInSlavery -- 8/18/2016 2:46:31 PM >

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RE: general question re the psychology of a Domme - 8/25/2016 9:53:19 AM

MistressLinda50

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/24/2016
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What makes me happy is knowing that first, my sub has total trust in me, I know that when he/she gives me that I also have to live up to that by nurturing and helping them to grow and become the best sub possible. 2nd bring my sub to explore who they are and having them grow as one, exploring new dimensions of their sexuality. But faith and trust in me is the key things for my sub to have.

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RE: general question re the psychology of a Domme - 8/26/2016 3:19:19 PM

AtUrCervix

Posts: 2111
Joined: 1/15/2016
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LOL.....love it.

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RE: general question re the psychology of a Domme - 9/15/2016 4:27:08 PM

GoddessMixtrix