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How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 2:26:25 AM

InsertUsernamehe

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/18/2016
Status: offline

to all the Doms out there. What do you expect when you get a message. is it better do do a more vanilla style message, or is it better to state your intentions out the gate?
Also what are your thoughts on honnorifics (mistress,godess) in the first message?

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 2:56:21 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/3/2014
Status: offline

My thoughts are simple
Just be polite
I usually address a Dom as Sir
Not because I am his
Just out of respect .. Most of the time they will say I don't need to say Sir

But I think it's a sweet gesture
a little bit of courtesy can go a long way

(in reply to InsertUsernamehe)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 3:32:34 AM

InsertUsernamehe

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Joined: 8/18/2016
Status: offline

Good advice. Do you typically jist introduce yourself like on pof or okc or do you lay your cards on the table ie "I want to submit to you"

(in reply to tittie)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 4:01:32 AM

Posts: 337
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

- FR -

quote:

ORIGINAL: InsertUsernamehe

Do you typically jist introduce yourself like on pof or okc or do you lay your cards on the table ie "I want to submit to you"

How would you even know whether you want to submit to a total stranger you have never even met in person?

How does a dominant know whether they want to dominate you, accept your submission, decide to keep you or own you, before they have gotten a chance to know you better as a person?

Have some sense about you, boy. This may be a kink site, but it is not some kind of free-for-all sex hook-up site where you go around waving a WANNA FUCK [or insert WANNA ### here] banner.

_____________________________

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart."-- J.G. Holland

(in reply to InsertUsernamehe)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 4:04:34 AM

Kana

Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Send naked pics, home address, bank account information and all credit card numbers.
On the first message.

Otherwise, if that's not for you, why not try simply introducing yourself, say what attracted you to them out of the 100,000 doms on Cspace and what you have to offer them.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to HoneyBears)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 4:58:26 AM

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears

- FR -

quote:

ORIGINAL: InsertUsernamehe

Do you typically jist introduce yourself like on pof or okc or do you lay your cards on the table ie "I want to submit to you"

How would you even know whether you want to submit to a total stranger you have never even met in person?

How does a dominant know whether they want to dominate you, accept your submission, decide to keep you or own you, before they have gotten a chance to know you better as a person?

Have some sense about you, boy. This may be a kink site, but it is not some kind of free-for-all sex hook-up site where you go around waving a WANNA FUCK [or insert WANNA ### here] banner.

I notice this is a common trend online so called submissives self claim as slaves and randomly message Dominants saying "I'm your slave do whatever you want to me fuck me hard!"

(in reply to HoneyBears)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 7:36:39 AM

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Fella, if you mean women, call them Dommes to avoid confusion.

Now, if the only point you're messaging them is that they're female, you're doing it wrong. 90+% of the time, you will not be playing with them. You'll be shopping, taking out the trash...vanilla stuff. Women understand this but for some reason most men don't.

So send them a vanilla message focusing on something about her that you like. Her taste in music, she's traveled to a place you've always wondered about - you get the idea. If she reads it, she'll be amazed.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LilJuly76)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 10:49:24 AM

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Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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You email her like she's a human being rather than a fetish delivery system.

_____________________________

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 12:32:09 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Read her profile. If she wants to be called Goddess by a total stranger, she'll say so. Otherwise address them by their screen name. If you don't fit the criteria in her profile, don't write. She won't make an exception for you.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 9:35:03 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: InsertUsernamehe

to all the Doms out there. What do you expect when you get a message. is it better do do a more vanilla style message, or is it better to state your intentions out the gate?
Also what are your thoughts on honnorifics (mistress,godess) in the first message?

For me, the fact that we are both on a kink site actually negates any kink in any contact I have tried. To me, the kink is implied. I want to know about the person that I am writing to and I approach things with that in mind. I want to know if you like home cooked meals, I want to know what music you listen to, I want to know if you like pets, I want to know what their idea of a good time is. After I see if we have anything at all in common, I can then talk about kink.

I usually tell the ones that do write to me, that they do not have to call me Sir if they do that, because my title means something to me and I feel that they can start doing that if we connect. I look at it this way, if you wouldn't walk up to someone in real life and say the things you might to introduce yourself, don't say them when trying to catch the attention of someone online. After all, for those of us that are, in fact, actual people, we have heard everything. I don't give a shit how submissive someone is, I want to know if I can eat dinner with them... or other things. Perhaps that does not make sense, but it does to me.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to InsertUsernamehe)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 10:55:01 PM

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/3/2014
Status: offline

I don't lay my cards on the table
Because I do not wish to submit to just anyone
I'm picky like that

(in reply to InsertUsernamehe)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 11:00:03 PM

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline

OMG YES. YES. YES! EVERY WORD.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears

- FR -

Have some sense about you, boy. This may be a kink site, but it is not some kind of free-for-all sex hook-up site where you go around waving a WANNA FUCK sign...

< Message edited by MizzesMia -- 8/20/2016 11:01:52 PM >

(in reply to HoneyBears)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 11:02:53 PM

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

ORIGINAL: InsertUsernamehe

to all the Doms out there. What do you expect when you get a message. is it better do do a more vanilla style message, or is it better to state your intentions out the gate?
Also what are your thoughts on honnorifics (mistress,godess) in the first message?

For me, the fact that we are both on a kink site actually negates any kink in any contact I have tried. To me, the kink is implied. I want to know about the person that I am writing to and I approach things with that in mind. I want to know if you like home cooked meals, I want to know what music you listen to, I want to know if you like pets, I want to know what their idea of a good time is. After I see if we have anything at all in common, I can then talk about kink.

I usually tell the ones that do write to me, that they do not have to call me Sir if they do that, because my title means something to me and I feel that they can start doing that if we connect. I look at it this way, if you wouldn't walk up to someone in real life and say the things you might to introduce yourself, don't say them when trying to catch the attention of someone online. After all, for those of us that are, in fact, actual people, we have heard everything. I don't give a shit how submissive someone is, I want to know if I can eat dinner with them... or other things. Perhaps that does not make sense, but it does to me.

< Message edited by MizzesMia -- 8/20/2016 11:03:45 PM >

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 11:04:13 PM

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

You email her like she's a human being rather than a fetish delivery system.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/20/2016 11:05:29 PM

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Fella, if you mean women, call them Dommes to avoid confusion.

Now, if the only point you're messaging them is that they're female, you're doing it wrong. 90+% of the time, you will not be playing with them. You'll be shopping, taking out the trash...vanilla stuff. Women understand this but for some reason most men don't.

So send them a vanilla message focusing on something about her that you like. Her taste in music, she's traveled to a place you've always wondered about - you get the idea. If she reads it, she'll be amazed.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/21/2016 12:30:23 AM

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

Also what are your thoughts on honnorifics (mistress,godess) in the first message?

I find the idea both funny and pathetic at the same time. Sorry.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to InsertUsernamehe)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/21/2016 12:57:11 AM

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

Hello A/all,

This one is pretty easy really. What would you do face to face? I recognize that society has coarsened
recently, but, "Da-Yum Bitch!' is still met with disdain. CS is just a place to find people with similar
interests. You still have to start with step one... "Hello, how are you?" We guys seem to think that
just because this is CollarSpace we can skip the first 14 steps.

Mention something in her profile that piqued your interest. "I see that you listed Chainsaw-Operation in
your Lives-For. Do you prefer Husquvarna or Stihl? See? Intelligent questions about her profile will get
you points.

If you absolutely have to mention a photo, "Nice tits!" isn't going to make it. Asking her about the
stone on her necklace would be better.

I don't worry about protocol in my first missive. I use I rather than i and you rather than You. If she
has preferences, you will know soon enough.

DO NOT EVER send her an unsolicited photo of a rooster! Period! The ladies are universally disgusted
with "cock shots." That one seems reasonable to me.

Good luck in your search,
Mike
SnowRanger

_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to MizzesMia)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/21/2016 12:13:50 PM

Posts: 50
Joined: 12/10/2012
From: USA
Status: offline

For Me personally, the biggest annoyance with receiving messages is when the sub didn't properly research anything about Me. For example, on here, this means he didn't read My profile, especially when the sub seemingly is copying and pasting a generic message. Somewhere else, it could mean the sub didn't read the FAQ of My website and/or asked Me information that is readily available on My website.

I find that, if the sub has properly done research, there's a 95% chance that the message will be responded to. It's when the sub didn't even respect My time enough to do some basic reading that I have available for everyone to read, that is when I simply disregard the message.

< Message edited by princessmika -- 8/21/2016 12:15:06 PM >

_____________________________

www.PraisePrincessMika.com

(in reply to SnowRanger)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/25/2016 9:44:04 AM

MistressLinda50

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/24/2016
Status: offline

I have to agree with most of you. I respond more to those messages that start with a nice greeting and talks to me as the woman I am. I agree stating you're my SLAVE in the first contact is just outside, I don't know you and I don't know yet if I want to, the same for you writing me. I feel let's get to know each other and then see where or if it will go further.

(in reply to princessmika)

RE: How to message dom? - 8/26/2016 7:26:58 AM

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

A recent exchange:

Him:
Mistress your slave awaits your direction.

Me:
I don't own you. You are not my slave.

Him:
Your slave is new to this and hopes to be broken in by a Mistress like you.

Me:
I'm not sure what makes you think that this is how you approach a dominant woman, but you are going about it all wrong.

Him:
Mistress, please instruct your slave in the correct way. As your slave said he is a virgin at this and has not received training.

Me:
It is not my responsibility to teach you how behave like a worthwhile human being.

Is this how you would introduce yourself to a woman at a restaurant? Would you keep calling yourself her slave, even after she said you were not?

How did you make it to 61 acting this way?

I won't respond again, if you can't figure out how to act like a decent chap.

Him:
goodbye.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to MistressLinda50)

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