Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

First story for all to read


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Creative Writings >> First story for all to read Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
First story for all to read - 12/3/2004 5:32:01 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
Rage On A Bitch
by fangsNfeet


As Barbara turned the key her car only sputtered and stop trying to crank all together. "Damnit!" Barbara screamed while pounding her fist against the wheel. "I can't believe this shit is happening to me!" Today had been one of Barbaras worst days ever. She woke up late, recieved a speeding ticket, stayed busy all day with no lunch break, and had hot coffee spilt all over her blouse. Then, at the end of the day, Barbara was called in by her boss Richard. Because of the argument she gave the assistant manager for not allowing a lunch break, Richard gave Barbara an altimatum to either go down on him or to stop comming to work. Now, because of a stupid dog, Barbara is stuck in a not so glamorious part of town.

After shuting the door, Barbara not only ripped her skirt but realized that she locked her keys and unbrella in the car. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" As she began kicking and hitting her car. After all it was raining and the cold front was in with a fourty one degree temperture. After walking a few blocks looking for a phone, Barbara noticed a small wear house building with lights on. Barbara quickly paced herself to the door and began to knock furiously. In no time at all Barbara was greated by a well dressed young man "Welcome to our revival. Please come in and have a seat." Not giving a damn that the guy was looking at her wet blouse and perky nipples, Barbara walked into the entrance room and sat down on a couch. "Miss my name is Eric. Were you planning on being here tonight or is there something you need?" "My apologizes, my car will not start and I need to use a phone or have someone help me get home. I could also use something to dry off with and a cup of coffee." "Well miss, let me get a towel and a cup of coffee and then we'll see about getting you some help." Eric then walked down a small hallway and entered another room. As the door opened, Barbar could hear loud rock music comming from the other room. Thinking she was in a church revival, Barbara concluded that she must have stumbled into a youth group gathering.

"Here you go miss." Barbara took the towel and thanked Eric before she began to drink her coffee. "Eric, thank God you are here. If one more thing had went wrong today I would have went completely psycho on someone." "Really? What would it take to be that person?"
"Excuse me?" As Barbara felt the question was odd. "Well, some people like it when someone psychoticly tears into them." After a slight chuckle, Barbara replied "Back in college we had a few discussions on abnormal and freaky relationships but I didn't think I would ever talk about this in a church revival." With a funny grin on his face Eric told Barbara "We aren't in a chruch revial, this is our
Sadist Massocist Revival."

Feeling embarased that she had entered a freak show, Barbara quickly stood up. "Please don't tell me you're leaving. We are nice people after all and you don't have to go into the main chamber." "No, no, I really need to make a phone call to get home and figure out what to do about my car." "Please wait" Eric asked and continued "One of our members is a lock smith, two of them mechanics, and another has her own tow truck. After the revival is over I can persuade them to help you for free." Being short on cash and no longer having a job, the word "free" was to tempting to pass up. "Alright, as long as I don't have to be apart of the activities I'll stay. But, I could use something to drink stronger than coffee and where's your rest room?" "Well, our free bar and rest room is out in the main chamber. Just stay to the right and you'll see the womens room." Barbara took a deep breath and marched into the main room. From there she quickly made it to the ladies room and never looked at anyone. Realizing the room didn't have a lock, Barbara shoved a trash can in front of the door.

Now relieved Barbara rinsed her face and began pounding her fist on the sink. "Shit! Shit! Shit! God what the fuck did I do to deserve this fucking life?" The rage of being fired from a job that never gave her a raise, time off, nor a promotion was boiling steam in her. The thoughts of having to fuck your way up in the corporation instead of hard work pissed Barbara off more than anything else. On the way out Barbara heard a familiar voice "Harder! Harder! What kind of pussy sadist are you?" Shaking her head Barbara kept walking untill she heard the voice scream "You're such a pussy whiped moron!" That phrase caused Barbara to turn around. Sure enough the person screaming was Debra. Debra was the assistant manager who told Barbra that she couldn't have a lunch break and requested that she should be fired. The position assistant manager was one that Barbara qualified for more than Debra could possibly imagine. As friends Debra secretly stole reports, erased data from others computers, and fucked the boss as well as others within the administration. Debra was a back stabbing whore who made everyones life a living hell after becomming the assistant manager.

Seeing that bitch bondaged and blind folded over a saw horse was shocking to Barbra. Her arms where suspended in leather cuffs and a pully system while a collar with chain kept her from raising up to relieve the tension. Debras breast were straped tightly with leather belts causing each boob to turn dark purple. Her feet were chained to the bottom keeping the legs spread apart showing more than Barbara had ever wanted to see. On top of all this stood a grossim looking fellow beating on Debra with a cane in one hand and a chain mail flogger in the other. Barbara could clearly see that Debras back, ass, and thighs had been beaten bright red with scoldering whelps. Continuing to hear Debra bitch about not feeling any pain and how it was just a waste of time to be comming to this place infurriated Barbara. Even she could tell that this guy seemed proficient at what he was doing.

"Do you like what you see?" Startled, Barbra then realized it was Eric who had asked the question. "Eric, should she be complaining?" "Heh, Debbie is a pain alright. Ever since we gave her the title of Head Misstress she's continued to insult all the sadist here and take an angry approach to the massocist. She treats everyone like shit now. The bitch only comes up here to use people for money and God knows what else. Would you be interested in giving her a beating?" The temptation of beating the shit out of Debra alone put joy in Barbaras day. "Well I've never done anything like this before. It's not my kind of thing but if I were to do something, what would I have to do to put the bitch back in her place?" With a wicked grin Eric whispered a few words into Barbras ear and motioned for the other sadist to step aside.

"Head Misstress Debbie, I have a woman here who is going to stop your complaining. Do you accept or decline her offer to beat you?" "Whatever Eric. Bring the whore on. This place sucks! Thinking about putting a little girl on me is a fucking joke you damn bastard." Barbara reached out and pulled back Debras hair and said "That's Miss Little Girl to you." She then pored ice cold everclear on to Debras back. The alcohol burned the razor inflicted wounds while the cold tensed up Debras spine and back muscles. Being defient as ever Debra yelled out "Whatever little girl, you might as well be one of those stupid clerks I push around at work. Would you like to apply to be my bitch you stupid little girl?" "I said that's Miss Little Girl to you." Without warning Debra felt her back being beaten by a hot dripping candle. The melted wax ended up all over Debras back. Barbra then placed plastic wrap on Debras back trapping in the heat. The smell of flesh was in the air and before she could bite her bottom lip, Debra let out a high pitched shriek to please stop. "Hell no bitch, this is only the beginning." Barbara then began a furious beating on Debra using a fiber glass whiping rod with so much anger that no one was going to dare stop her. After the plastic had been whiped off, Barbara pored another cold glass onto Debra. The drink made it down to Debras lips causing the vaginal muscles to tighten. Barbara then picked up an eight ball and began to role it up and down Debras back. "Alright you fucking back stabbing bitch, let's see if you're as loose as everyone says?" Barbara then began to beat Debras pussy with the eight ball. "No! No! I can't take it! I can't fucking take it!" "Oh yes you are you fucking whore!" After the eight ball entered, that's when Debra screamed "Pagan Carebear!"

Monday mourning Barbara appeared in Richards office and beside her stood a very silent Debra. "Debbie, Barbara, what are you two doing here?" As Debra tried to speak, she was quickly cut off by one of Barbaras coughs. "Richard, Deb has a letter of resignation to give you. If you want anything to do with Deb again or keep her from talking to your wife, you better promote me to assistant manager immediatly and start telling me about my new bennifits." "What's the meaning of this?" Go ahead Debbie and show him." Debra handed Richard an envelope and then unbuttoned her blouse. The carved POR on her right breast had been X'd out and a branded POB glissened from the left one. After a sigh Richard said "Welcome back Barbara. Please follow me to your new office."


_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: First story for all to read - 12/4/2004 9:10:45 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
Edited because you were rude and unkind. It is considered bad taste to correct others in such a manner, especially when you yourself are grammatically challenged.

Welcome to CollarMe.

Mod3


< Message edited by ModeratorThree -- 12/10/2004 9:39:49 AM >

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: First story for all to read - 12/4/2004 11:41:10 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

You spelled wear house wrong it's warehouse, And you left off an A in the end of Barbra after the coffe comment. coffe also only has one e/ you spelled it with two, I would throughly recomend spell checking the document

Seeing that bitch bondaged

Bondaged is not a real word, it's bound

1) You incorrectly capitalized the 'a' in 'and' after your first comma
2) Contrary to your beliefs, coffee is not spelled with one 'e'
3) The proper spelling of 'throughly' is 'thoroughly'
4) The proper spelling of 'recomend' is 'recommend'

If you're going to make your first post here about spelling and grammar corrections, you might want to make sure your corrections are not erroneous and that you don't make any mistakes yourself. Otherwise, you just end up looking like an ass. Let's hope that your second offering here isn't quite as disappointing as your first.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: First story for all to read - 12/5/2004 6:43:12 PM   
theroebabe


Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

Well i dont care about the typos iknow someone i would love to do that to!!!!!!



_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: First story for all to read - 12/8/2004 2:23:19 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
OH MY GOD! I made a few fucking grammer errors on a paper. It's not like I'm a famous writter with my own editing company. But hell, I did have 3 subs read the story before I submitted it and one of them is an English Major. If you have a problem with the typos then feel free to punish them for me. I will not be seeing any of them till after New Years.
Sheesh I wrote a few mistaks. Do I need to be punished for them? What's the Fucking FINE?

Anyrate, dispite a few God Damn typos, what do you think about the plot, characters, actions, creativity, and how it relates to you with past experiences?

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: First story for all to read - 12/10/2004 4:58:36 AM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline
I am not a sadist, but this has given me something to think about....


Thanks for sharing.


(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: First story for all to read - 12/11/2004 8:48:46 PM   
Texasswitchygirl


Posts: 2
Status: offline
I think it is a well thought out fantasy of anger and passion. Wether or not this is an acceptable scene in this liefstyle is irrelevant, because we all have fantasies of doing this to someone that has fucked us over. I think the scene could have had a lot more details in it to bring the reader further into the story.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: First story for all to read - 12/22/2004 7:10:24 PM   
DameDarkness


Posts: 341
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline
Sounds like my kind of party

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: First story for all to read - 12/25/2004 1:29:53 AM   
SionedMorgan


Posts: 14
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline
While this is not my cup of tea per say, I did enjoy the story. I know that many people have someone that they would quite enjoy doing that to. A few former bosses of my own come to mind. heh.

Keep up the good work, and remember so long as the story is readable a few typos, while slightly annoying, do not affect the work as a whole. So just ignore those that like to nitpick.

(in reply to DameDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: First story for all to read - 1/2/2005 6:09:12 AM   
SirSTRYKER


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/15/2004
Status: offline
I am not here to proof read anybodys submissions. I am here to enjoy the writings of O/others, and share some of My own. I found your story exciting and most interesting even from the beginning. The day from hell at work, the coffe spilling, the blow job request, and then the damn car dying. Then who would ever have thought that One's most hated foe would be found suspended and being whipped and begging for more? Forget the nay sayers and continue your writings...I think you are on the right track!
Well Done!

(in reply to SionedMorgan)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: First story for all to read - 1/11/2005 8:29:12 PM   
devinechaos


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/28/2004
Status: offline
After reading all of the replies to this story... I felt compelled to say something as I feel this particular entry has become some what of a scapegoat. While there were many typos in this story, it often shows passion for what the writer is, in this case, typing on the pages. Which, correct me if I'm wrong, could be why editors still have a job :). What's more... I've yet to find a story here that has been written that didn't have a typo in it. In fact some of the writings here are saturated with typos and grammatical errors... what should matter is that the writers here were willing to share their stories with everyone and open themselves to others.
~*~ Chaos ~*~

(in reply to SirSTRYKER)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: First story for all to read - 1/14/2005 4:02:25 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
Well thanks all for liking or enjoying my story. I myself have nothing against sfgrrl as she is a helpful/knowledgable person in the message borads. I was more or less showing that I can get mad if I wanted to be. There is nothing wrong with correcting my grammer but I would also enjoy if you pointed out other things as there is the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. What's the point in showing errors if aren't going to give an overall thought of the story? I myself like being corrected on writtings so that I can make the next story better.

For now I'm posting just poems but another story will emerge sooner or later.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 12
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Creative Writings >> First story for all to read Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.039