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RE: Buncha questions - 9/9/2016 3:37:15 PM

YourSincereSlave

Posts: 82
Joined: 7/29/2016
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Yeah I don't like having hair on my back either, but it's kinda hard to reach and like I said a front pic wouldn't work either due to ugly surgery scar.
I don't want to put my face here either, so that severely limits the kind of pics I could use. It's either my back or legs, lol.

(in reply to Alecta)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/9/2016 3:42:51 PM

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
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Most day spas will now offer laser and/or hair removal services for men. Apparently enough vanilla men don't like being hairy either.

(in reply to YourSincereSlave)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/9/2016 3:47:43 PM

YourSincereSlave

Posts: 82
Joined: 7/29/2016
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I'm aware but thanks.
Problem is money at the moment.

(in reply to Alecta)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/9/2016 4:19:41 PM

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Joined: 1/19/2010
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Get a home waxing kit and get a friend to wax it for you. Yes, vanilla people do this with other vanilla people. It's only weird/kinky if you make it that way.

(in reply to YourSincereSlave)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/10/2016 12:09:54 AM

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

Get a home waxing kit and get a friend to wax it for you. Yes, vanilla people do this with other vanilla people. It's only weird/kinky if you make it that way.

Or make up a sugaring formula of your own (recipes online) and have a friend or partner help out. I always got the material from the scrap bin at Walmart real cheap. Also helps with the dry skin.

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to Alecta)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/10/2016 1:37:39 AM

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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I realize that your profile isn't that bad now. But I'd recommend shortening everything before "Other than that".

Also, if you decide to check out peon's pics, don't overlook his posts. The guy is a master at cheery, fun conversation. If I were a Domme looking for a sub man, I'd be all over him. The same goes for otterswim's posts.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ShaharThorne)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/11/2016 2:28:19 PM

Posts: 196
Joined: 11/28/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourSincereSlave
Well... considering how many fakes and scammers there are around here, I'm not at all willing to put pictures of my face on the site.
Besides, isn't wanting to know what I look like just as shallow as having fetish pics?
Your own picture completely hides your face too so what good is that?
I'm not being snarky or anything, just seriously questioning that advice.

Diffident, freedomdwarf1, Gauge, LP and Alecta all answered the stock queries before I bothered to check the thread so I won't retouch the points they've addressed. They were also much gentler than I would be.

I will answer your query about my own lack of picture directly. I conceal my face for several reasons;

1) I've had stalkers; on here and other fetish sites.
2) I'm in law enforcement. Even though they're aware of my proclivities, I don't need to have my interests tied to my professional life. I like having a roof over my head, food in the fridge, pay my bills, etc.
3) Lack of a face pictures for a woman cuts down on the rude emails. A ~lot~. I still get random morons that make it past the filters but the number is greatly reduced. It doesn't matter whether the woman in question is dominant, submissive or some other flavor, we get harassed. All the damn time.
4) The picture is of me, taken by me. It demonstrates an aspect of my abilities; that of craft works. I'm pretty handy with a glue gun.

Since you've taken the time to view mine, you've noticed I don't list a single fetish I'm into. Because I'm more than a fetish delivery or fantasy fulfillment system. I'm a person.

To be noticed by the person of your desires, you must stand out. Kink is implied. We're all here. To get to the play, you must convince the lady you appreciate that you're one as well. Doing anything less is fapping in the breeze.

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!

(in reply to YourSincereSlave)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/11/2016 5:55:45 PM

YourSincereSlave

Posts: 82
Joined: 7/29/2016
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I appreciate your insights, Shandirra, don't get me wrong.

I just question someone who tells me to do one thing that they won't do themselves.

You have excellent reasons (and really you didn't need to justify yourself at all), but I have my reasons as well, so the comment still came off as hypocritical, no matter your intentions.

As for others being gentler than you would be, well... I find attitude more important than pictures, personally.

Now I know it's a kink site and everyone here is into kink and that's all well and good in theory, but in practice that's kinda like walking into a game store and assuming everyone likes the same games. By listing what I'm into and not into, I filter out people who are into different things.

I also know there's a ton of sub males and very few dom females, but that has absolutely no impact whatsoever on what I'm looking for (which is a woman who likes the same kinda stuff I do). It would be the same on a vanilla dating site, I'd look for shared interests. To do otherwise would be to shoot myself in the foot.

Better to have low chances of finding a good match, than slightly higher chances to find someone who may or may not be a match.

< Message edited by YourSincereSlave -- 9/11/2016 5:56:58 PM >

(in reply to Shandirra)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/12/2016 12:43:20 AM

Posts: 337
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

- FR -

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourSincereSlave

Better to have low chances of finding a good match, than slightly higher chances to find someone who may or may not be a match.

Two thumbs up

_____________________________

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart."-- J.G. Holland

(in reply to YourSincereSlave)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/14/2016 5:32:33 PM

Posts: 196
Joined: 11/28/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourSincereSlave
Better to have low chances of finding a good match, than slightly higher chances to find someone who may or may not be a match

Point is; the majority of women want that vanilla connection before kink is even discussed. They want to be viewed as human being first. Compatible kink interests are generally of secondary importance. Which is the motivation most males misunderstand. They crave play without the mundane shared interests. Most women are wired differently than that. *shrugs* Everyone's mileage varies. However, I've been around kink long enough to know what works.

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!

(in reply to YourSincereSlave)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/14/2016 5:52:56 PM

Posts: 5490
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quote:

The thought had occurred to me as well, but I believe she was sincere. , and I thought long and hard about how I felt about the session and how I felt about her afterward and I believe it's true.

Darling, I am a barmaid, and when we chat I can guarantee you that you will go away convinced that I was really interested in our conversation, but the truth is I likely couldn't give even half a shit about it, but well-feigned interest equals better tips and more drinks bought which is my job, to sell you drinks.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to YourSincereSlave)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/14/2016 6:37:40 PM

Posts: 337
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shandirra

Point is; the majority of women want that vanilla connection before kink is even discussed. They want to be viewed as human being first. Compatible kink interests are generally of secondary importance. Which is the motivation most males misunderstand. They crave play without the mundane shared interests. Most women are wired differently than that. *shrugs* Everyone's mileage varies. However, I've been around kink long enough to know what works.

This site's fairly comprehensive Interests list should always include one's vanilla interests (at least a half dozen items suggested).
Any Must-Haves or Deal Breakers which are not on there can be included in one's profile text.

A close friend of ours likes to say, nobody is doing BDSM all day and night long, and she is not here on a fact-finding mission to reinvent the wheel. Profiles which only list kinks and fetishes in their profile+list get passed over. Conversely, skimpy and overgeneralized profiles which lack substance, also get passed over for the same reason.

Another dom friend wants to find a partner who is into classic cars and can travel with him to car shows, etc. This is a higher priority to him than whether a woman is a bondage bunny, since he is not a diehard rigger, or even if she identifies as submissive.

There is a lot more to finding a suitable match with shared interests than having compatible kinks and fetishes, it should go without saying.
But on the other hand, having nonnegotiable incompatibilities should be ascertained fairly quickly by revealing, discussing and clarifying those issues up front.

-- Lisa & Cub

< Message edited by HoneyBears -- 9/14/2016 6:43:41 PM >

_____________________________

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart."-- J.G. Holland

(in reply to Shandirra)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/15/2016 7:02:42 PM

Posts: 196
Joined: 11/28/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears
But on the other hand, having nonnegotiable incompatibilities should be ascertained fairly quickly by revealing, discussing and clarifying those issues up front.
-- Lisa & Cub

Hence why the only fetshes visible upfront on my profile are hard limits. To save myself and any possibly interested parties time in weeding out undesirable activities.

Sadly, most males never bother to actually read any part of a women's profile, which is a whole other discussion entirely...

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!

(in reply to HoneyBears)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/18/2016 12:05:59 AM

YourSincereSlave

Posts: 82
Joined: 7/29/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

The thought had occurred to me as well, but I believe she was sincere. , and I thought long and hard about how I felt about the session and how I felt about her afterward and I believe it's true.

Darling, I am a barmaid, and when we chat I can guarantee you that you will go away convinced that I was really interested in our conversation, but the truth is I likely couldn't give even half a shit about it, but well-feigned interest equals better tips and more drinks bought which is my job, to sell you drinks.

As I said before, I can tell when people are just placating me, and when they're sincere.
Online I have trouble, because there's nothing but text, but in person, I know. I'm not saying I'm infallible but... well, poinr is, I believed I was a natural before she mentioned it, based on my own feelings and behavior.
She reinforced a belief i already had, it's not like she said anything new.

< Message edited by YourSincereSlave -- 9/18/2016 12:06:53 AM >

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/18/2016 6:30:25 AM

Posts: 5490
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quote:

I can tell when people are just placating me, and when they're sincere.

I bet you can't.

quote:

She reinforced a belief i already had

Bingo, she told you what you wanted to hear so she MUST have been sincere, right?

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to YourSincereSlave)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/19/2016 6:57:54 PM

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Joined: 1/15/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourSincereSlave

Wow.. I've been browsing this forum a bit and.. .wow... so many terrible people posting terrible things.
Here's to hoping I don't join them!

So, aside form one amazing session with a pro domme I've met here back when it was called collarme, I am completely inexperienced.
And I read a lot about how many many male "subs" are stuck on their fantasies and only in it for their own satisfaction
I don't want to be like that.
In fact I'm pretty sure I'm not like that.
Looking back on that one session, I remember being happy and eager about doing everything I was told and trying to please the woman and she did comment I was a natural once it was over and we talked a bit.
Mind you, when I say "please the woman" I don't mean sexually (not what was happening there), I mean making this enjoyable for her. I wasn't paying her for a service in my mind, more like.. for her time. And I wanted this to be as enjoyable for her as it was for me, you know?
So if I was like that with a professional, I'm certainly gonna care about a nonprofessional domme's enjoyment too.

So the question is... how do I show that in an online profile or ad?

Related question: How do YOU tell who's the real thing and who isn't?

And an alternate question is, how do I avoid all the gold-digging fakes aside from making it clear I'm dirt poor? :P

Be you.

(in reply to YourSincereSlave)

RE: Buncha questions - 9/19/2016 7:06:29 PM

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Joined: 11/4/2015
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YourSincereSlave How many times have I told you not to do this...fuk it if they cant work it out why do i care

(in reply to AtUrCervix)

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