UllrsIshtar
Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NoirMetal I hesitate to do anything like this with someone I am not in a long term committed relationship with. I would agree. It's a stupid idea to engage in consensual non-consent play with somebody you don't know exceedingly well. For me, when I'm bottoming, a Top eager to engage in CNC without knowing me well enough beforehand would be a huge red flag. Likewise when I'm Topping, a bottom wanting CNC without knowing me very well is also a red flag. Anytime you engage in CNC play as a Top, you're literally putting your entire life in the hands of the bottom, because, if they decided to press charges afterwards, you're pretty much fucked forever, considering that you now not only engaged in illegal activities (you can't legally consent to a lot of BDSM activities in most places), you also engaged in those illegal activities against the active consent of the bottom. In court, nobody is going to pay any attention to you pleading: "But she told me she didn't want me to stop!". Which also is what makes it kinda interesting: Usually in BDSM play, it's the bottom who takes the greatest risks (for injuries, stuff happening they don't want, getting triggered, etc), with the risks the Top assumes being relatively minor, especially if he's good and diligent about checking in and reestablishing consent mid-scene when needed (are you okay, do you want to continue?). In the case of CNC play, suddenly the greatest are squarely in the Top's camp, because you're putting the bottoms risk of "the scene wasn't as fun as I wanted/I accidentally got injured" against "the Top's entire life is over, he's on the sex offender list for life, and doing jail time, while having NO valid defense against his actions in court".
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I can be your whore I am the dirt you created I am your sinner And your whore But let me tell you something baby You love me for everything you hate me for
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